MISUNDERSTOOD FEELINGS

MISUNDERSTOOD FEELINGS
The silence between us stretches for a long time before Blank stands up, gesturing for me to approach him.

“Okay, come here.”

With a smile on my face, I run to him, falling into his widespread arms and wrapping my hands around his waist.

I intended for our embrace to last as least a minute. So, when Blank tries to disengage after two seconds, I hold on tighter. And he gives up.

“If I’m not a broken piece, what am I to you then?” I ask out of nowhere.

“W— what…?” Blank stutters, he seems flustered.

“Just answer. Don’t avoid it.”

Blank tries to rip me off his body again. “I need to understand why you’re asking these questions, Nectar.”

I look up at the man, my chin placed on his chest as I grip him tighter. Instead of giving up like the last time, he uses force to successfully separate our bodies. Then he shifts more than a feet away from me.

“Never mind,” he says, “Rest up. Come down for dinner later.”

I watch him walk past me and disappear through the archway.

I don’t blame him for avoiding me. He’s not obliged to fall for me. He probably only sees me as a little girl. After all, he’s old enough to be my dad.

To him, I’m simply just the three years old child of his unrequited love’s partner. Meanwhile, I see him as a man.

Now I’m starting to feel embarrassed at how I reacted. I don’t even know whether I misunderstood him or not; whether I misunderstood that his endearing actions during the convention were because he liked me instead of it being an act of kindness.

>>>>>>>>

Since when Blank walked out on me at the living room, we haven’t met each other. I, on my part, make sure of that by remaining inside my room.

The room—a five-walled space with a single bed, a wardrobe, and a study desk. There’s a fresh flower on the window sill, feeding on the neutral sun peeking in through the glass window.

I’ve been lying in bed all these while, scrolling through social media. But more and more rumors of Aunt Mellow’s and Blank’s scandal has taken over the internet, to the point I barely dilute the urge to throw my phone across the room.

To stop myself from running mad, I call dad.

‘Nectar, how are you?’ his asks the moment he picks the call.

I sigh.“I don’t always feel comfortable when you ask me how I am, dad. Did mom tell you something?”

‘She is not picking her calls. Did something happen again?’

“The previous issue hasn’t settled, dad.” I grumble before quickly changing the subject. “Have you seen the news about Blank?”

‘I have.’

“And the rumors, how are you taking it?”

‘Unbothered. They are not true.’

“How about Aunt Mellow? What did she say about it?”

‘She does not know about the news.’

Of all people, Aunt Mellow should be the one to know. Yet… she doesn’t? “What, how?”

‘I told you before, she is inactive online. She does not wish to know about the outside world either, so I did not tell her.’

“Have you considered that she may want to know about this one, though?” I ask, kinda insinuating how important Blank was to her. Maybe if dad knew who Blank really was, he would be prompted to tell her.“Do you know anything about Blank, dad?”

‘Do you?’ dad retaliates instead of answering.

I nod anyway, affirming his question, “Mm.”

‘What do you know?’

“I can’t tell you.”

Dad sighs.‘I understand you trying to hide that he is Christopher, Nectar. I know he’s your best person.’

“He’s not my best person, dad, you are. He only comes after mom. And how did you figure out he was Christopher?”

‘The artwork he revealed is from an actual picture, taken by Christopher, that was only known to Mellow and your uncle Zachili—aside Christopher himself. Mellow showed it to me after your uncle died. No one else alive has been aware of it, so Blank painting that picture so accurately only meant that there was some twist going on somewhere.’

“How did you figure out it was Christopher, then?”

‘The obsession. That art of his still reeked of it.’

“Was Christopher that obsessed with Aunt Mellow?” I ask, purely out of my unknown urge to torture myself for no reason.

‘The guy loved sugar, but it was more unhealthy how he craved Mellow’s attention.’

Wow. Those words really strike the heart in the most brutal way possible.

“Since you knew who Blank really is, why don’t you tell her?”

‘After the incident of two years ago, she has been quite unstable. Destroying her phone and contact number hasn’t even helped matters. I just don’t want to tell her about this until she is strong enough. Seeing him may remind her of her past and the people she has lost,’ dad mumbles, referring to the time when a betraying staff sold Aunt Mellow’s personal info to a news agency. That led to Aunt Mellow being intensely stalked and harassed. Dad told me that she now only uses a house telephone, which only him and her kids can access.

‘How did you figure out his real identity, Nectar?’ Dad suddenly asks.

“We… have been sort of interacting, dad,” I drawl, “I kind of saw his face in the convention and thought it was familiar.”

‘The bastard knows you are my daughter and still talks to you. Do not let him sweet talk you. He can be good with his mouth, and he charms without warning.’

If only he knows I’m already charmed.

“What are you saying, dad, calm down. What you need to think of now is how to tell Aunt Mellow about him. She seriously needs to know. After all, you always told me that she’s the strongest woman you’ve ever known.”

‘Yeah, yeah.’ Dad yawns. ‘I will call you later, Nectar.’

After he cuts the call, I go through the internet once, checking out Blank’s artwork with an eagle’s eye. He did the painting with oil to match some sort of subtle blurriness. The contrast between black and yellow tells me the actual picture was taken in the dark. Then there’s aunt Mellow grinning from ear to ear despite the solemnity in her eyes.

The picture possibly holds some kind of significance to them. And although I’m eager to know what it is, I also don’t want to, as I suspect it would be another pit that will hurt me the more.

A timid knock comes on the door, and I jump out the bed without thinking. However, I soon grasp my composure, sliding my fingers through my frizzy hair to make it look better.

Then I proceed to open the door.

Blank stands there with his hands deep in the pockets of his pants.