Chapter 30 MOVING FORWARD
By 4:30, Vivienne had picked Noah up from school and he had plenty of stories to tell. Some of the kindergarteners were scared by a fire drill, and his friend Tyler spilled chocolate milk all over himself at lunch. They were also starting a new science unit on the solar system.
Vivienne paid attention and said the right things, but part of her mind was elsewhere.
"Did you meet any nice babysitters today?" Noah asked while they were eating dinner, spaghetti that she had made on autopilot.
She looked up from her plate in shock. "How did you know that was today?"
"Mrs. Chen told me that yesterday. She said that some women were coming to talk to you about how to help take care of me." He spun spaghetti around his fork. "Did you like any of them?"
Vivienne tried to lie, but the words wouldn't come out. But there was no reason to lie now.
Finally, she said, "They were all nice. Very qualified. But I'm not sure."
"Not sure about what?"
"About leaving you with someone else." She felt like a failure to admit it. "I know that's not right for you. I know I have to do this job to keep our lives stable. But the thought of not being there when you get home from school, missing dinner with you, and someone else putting you to bed..."
She stopped talking. Noah was looking at her with those eyes that were too old for him, and she felt exposed and weak in a way.
"Mom." Noah put down his fork and reached across the table to hold her hand. His fingers were small and sticky with tomato sauce, but he held on tight. "You said they're all nice. So it will be fine."
"But what if—"
"You're too worried." He said it with such confidence and common sense. "You always tell me that being brave means doing things even when they scare you. You should probably do what you say."
Vivienne looked at her nine-year-old son, who, for some reason, seemed more grown-up than she did at that moment.
"You're right," she said softly. "You're completely right."
"I usually am." Noah smiled, and the mood got better. "Can we have dessert?"
Vivienne stood at her kitchen counter and called Rebecca back that night after Noah had gone to bed.
"Hello, it's Vivienne Cross. We talked about the babysitting job earlier today." Her voice sounded steady. "I'm sorry for how I ended our meeting. I was wondering if you could start next week?"
You could hear Rebecca's surprise. "Oh! Yes, of course. Sure, I'd be happy to."
They worked out the details, like hours, pay rate, and emergency contacts. When Vivienne hung up, she felt both relieved and scared.
She had done it. She had taken one more step toward the life that was coming, whether she was ready for it or not.
Marcus knocked on her door on Thursday night with enough Chinese food to feed four people.
He pushed past her into the apartment with bags hanging from both arms. "I come bearing sustenance. Where's my favorite nephew?"
"In his room, doing homework," Vivienne said as she followed him to the kitchen. "This is too much food, Marcus."
"Too much Chinese food doesn't exist." He started taking out boxes of sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, fried rice, egg rolls, and dumplings. "Besides, we have a lot to talk about, and carbs always make talks go better."
The smell brought Noah to the kitchen door. "Uncle Marcus! Did you bring any spring rolls?"
"Would I forget your favorite? I'm offended that you would even ask." Marcus threw him a spring roll, which Noah caught with a laugh and then went back to his room.
As soon as they sat down at the table with their plates full, Marcus got right to the point. "So. The deal."
Vivienne had been ready for this. The folder was on the table in front of them. She had finally read through the whole thing last night. She had to force herself to pay attention to the legal language and payment terms instead of the fear that was trying to take over her.
"It's fair," she said, poking her fork into her lo mein. "More than fair, really. The advance alone would pay for CrossLight's operating costs for three months."
"That's incredible!" Marcus was excited. "We can pay Sarah and Dev what we owe them. We can get the equipment back. Instead of letting the Lumina contract die, we can actually follow through on it. We might even start looking for bigger office space and maybe hire back some of the people we lost."
"Marcus." Vivienne set down her fork. "Can we take it easy? This isn't a miracle cure. It's a deal. A solution for now."
He was less excited. "But it's a good answer. It's just what we needed." He looked at her face, and his expression changed from happy to worried. "Vee, why aren't you happy about this?"
"I'm happy." The words came out of nowhere and felt empty.
"You don't seem happy. You seem..." He looked for the right word. "Scared."
Vivienne picked up her fork again and focused on twirling the noodles, even though she wasn't hungry.
"Please talk to me," Marcus said softly. "What's going on?"
"Don't bother about it. I'm just worried about how things will work out. Finding a babysitter, setting up the schedule, and making sure Noah is okay—"
"That's not what this is about." Marcus put his plate down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "I've known you for seven years, Vee. I can tell when you're hiding something."
Vivienne's throat got tighter. She wanted to say it to him. She wanted to let go of everything, her fear, her past, and the impossible situation she had gotten herself into. But the words stayed stuck.
"I'm just worried," she finally said, "about the work. Everything. The modeling, the acting, and being the face of something so big." She waved her hand at the contract in a vague way. "Marcus, I've spent years keeping myself behind the camera. Not being seen. And now I'm saying yes to being in the spotlight for a project that millions of people will see."
It was true, but only to a point. Not the whole truth, though.
Marcus nodded slowly. "I understand. Putting yourself out there like that is scary. But Vee, you don't have to do this by yourself. You have me and the CrossLight team on your side, and from what you've told me, Hunt seems like a good guy who wants this to work out as much as we do."
Vivienne's stomach tightened at the mention of that name. But she was able to keep her face neutral.
"And speaking of not being alone," Marcus said, "I've been thinking. We should probably have a lawyer look over the contract one more time. I trust Hunt Enterprises, but it's always a good idea to have an expert look over something before you sign it."
"I've already read it."
"Yes, but you're not a lawyer. And this is a big deal, Vee. We should do it right." He took out his phone. "I know a guy named David. He works mostly with contracts for entertainment. Let's meet with him tomorrow to make sure everything is set."
Vivienne wanted to fight and say it wasn't necessary, but she could see why Marcus thought it was a good idea. And maybe having someone else look at the contract would help her feel less anxious, or at least give her something real to focus on instead of her growing worries.
"Okay," she said. "Make arrangements."
Marcus smiled and started typing on his phone.