Chapter 26 A MISTAKE PART 1
This is a mistake, Vivienne thought as she held the steering wheel. She was driving with her foot on the gas pedal and staring straight ahead at the road. The yellow lines getting blurry as she drove.
She couldn't make herself look at Noah in the mirror. Not when her heart was still pounding against her ribs like it wanted to get out of her chest.
It was a mistake to go to the park. The universe had played a cosmic joke on her by making her meet Alexander there, ruining her carefully laid plans and throwing chaos into the fragile peace she had been holding on to.
And Noah, sweet and innocent Noah, had stood right next to his father, not knowing the truth.
"Mom, did you see how high Lily could go?" Noah's voice broke the silence and filled the car with energy that made Vivienne's temples throb.
She didn't say anything right away.
"She climbed all the way to the top of the jungle gym by herself!" Noah kept going, not knowing how tense his mother was. "She said she's been practicing since she was six. Can you believe that? She's only seven now, so that's just a year of practice!"
Vivienne's jaw tightened. She made herself breathe through her nose and count in her head. One. Two. Three.
"And Uncle Alex, that's what Lily calls him, was so nice, Mom. He asked me about school and what I like to do in my free time. He even said that nine is a great age! Do you believe that's true? Is nine a great age?"
Noah said the name so casually and innocently. Uncle Alex. Like Alexander Hunt was just another nice adult they met at the park, not the father Noah had never met before.
"He talks funny, though," Noah said in a serious tone, like he was really thinking about what he was saying. "Not funny strange, but like... fancy? Just like the people in those old movies you watch. Is that how all business people talk?"
Vivienne's grip on the wheel got so tight that it hurt. The leather creaked as she held it.
She hit the brakes too hard when she saw a red light ahead. The car suddenly stopped, causing Noah's backpack to slide forward on the seat next to him.
"Mom?" his voice was quieter now. "Are you all right?"
She looked at the red light as it glowed against the darkening sky.
"I'm fine, baby," she said without thinking.
Vivienne looked in the rearview mirror and instantly wished she hadn't.
Noah was looking out the window, and she could see him through the glass. Even when he was turned to the side and the shadows fell across his face, you could still see how much they looked alike. The same strong jawline that would only get stronger as he got older. The same way his eyebrows came together when he was deep in thought. When he smiled, his lips made the same curve.
He looked like Alexander's son in every way, a living proof of a love that had ended in pain and ashes.
Vivienne pressed the gas pedal when the light turned green, happy to have a reason to look away.
Noah went back to his happy story and said, "Lily's really funny. She said that strawberry ice cream is better than cookie dough, which is obviously not true, but I liked how she argued about it. She didn't get angry; she just kept saying why she was right. Will we see her again?"
"No," Vivienne said too quickly, and the word came out harsh.
She saw Noah's face change in the mirror. His eyebrows furrowed, and his mouth made a small "o" of surprise.
"Why not?" he asked, his voice quieter now and confused. "She is a nice little girl. And Uncle Alex said—"
"Noah." Vivienne's tone was even harsher than she meant it to be. "We won't see them again. That was just a coincidence. Just this once."
"But you will work with him. You said—"
"That's not the same. That's work. That doesn't mean we'll be friends with his family or see them outside of work." The words came out faster now, angry and scared. "Do you get it?"
The car was quiet again.
Vivienne felt the impact of her mistake settle on her chest right away. She had been too harsh. Noah didn't get why she was acting this way, and who could blame him? He was nine years old. He thought they had just met nice people at the park. He had no idea about the past, the danger, or the walls she had built to protect their small family.
"I'm sorry," she said in a soft voice that cracked a little. "I didn't mean to get mad at you. I just... I just meant that Mr. Hunt is a business contact, not a friend. That's all."
Noah was quiet for a long time, and then he said in a small voice, "Okay, Mom."
But it wasn't right. She could hear it in his voice and see it in the way he turned away from her and looked out the window.
The rest of the drive was filled with thick silence. Vivienne tried to think of something to say or a way to fix what she had broken, but everything that came to mind seemed wrong or not enough. She couldn't tell Noah the real reason for her reaction without telling him things he wasn't ready to hear.
They parked the car, finally home, and Noah unbuckled his seatbelt before it had fully stopped. He grabbed his backpack, opened the door, and climbed out without waiting for her.
"Noah—" Vivienne called after him, but he was already walking toward their building. His small shoulders were hunched in a way that made it clear he was mad.
She turned off the engine and sat still for a moment, her forehead resting on the steering wheel in the sudden quiet. The parking garage was dark and cool, and the concrete walls echoed with the sounds of other cars and footsteps.
"What am I doing?" she whispered to herself.
She was supposed to keep Noah safe from a past that could still hurt them both. But she was hurting him too because she was scared and desperate to keep control. Pushing him away when he was just being a kid.
Vivienne took a deep breath and made herself get out of the car. She locked it behind her and followed Noah into the building, each step louder than the last.