46

SEPTEMBER'S POV

After hearing what Riley said to me about Zachary's past, I silently went inside the hospital without uttering a single word.

And what was I supposed to say?

Whatever he did to my family will never justify how his family was killed in front of his eyes when he was just a child.

Yes, I do feel bad for him, for that little child whose family was murdered Infront of his own eyes and then to save himself he had to kill a person in a such a tender age but still nothing justifies him killing my family.

I will never be able to forgive him.

But what about my heart? Why I have to fell in love with him? It was never supposed to happen. Never.

Since the day I met him, I wished him to be far away with him but I don't want him to die.

F*ck. I'll never be able to live if something happens to him.

I know this is wrong but I can't stop myself loving him.

My mind still hates him and will hate him forever but my heart, my heart loves him and will love him forever.

The memories of Zachary will always make me hate him but the memories of Zach will make me love him, always.

I saw Claire in Chris arms. She was worried too. I don't know why Chris took her to the hospital.

Claire?

Zachary's sister name was Claire, wasn't it? That's why he was always affectionate of her. Maybe the name reminds him of his sister.

I closed my eyes. Please be alive Zachary. Please.

“This all happened because of you.” Grace spat with tears in her eyes. If anything happens to him, I swear I'll kill you.

“Grace! Shut the f*ck up. Zach's accident has nothing to do with September's memory.” Chris came in between.

Grace didn't say a word but I know right now she might be hating me.

But it wasn't my fault. Why would I want that man in danger whom I love?

I love him, I really do.

But,

I hate him, I really do.

Please God! Save him.

The moments I spent with him when I had amnesia were enough for me to believe that I can love the man whom I hated most.

After hours of surgery, he was shifted to normal ward. Doctor said he's out of danger now and the second I heard, it felt as if my own life was now out of danger.

I wanted to see him. I just want to see him and nothing much. For one last time, I would like to see him and then I'll go away from him forever.

Yes, I love him but how can I be with that person who killed my own family? What will my parents think? What will Hunter think of me?

I couldn't do this to me. Zachary tortured me to the point where I could never forget him. However I try, his face will always remind me of the things he did to me.

I'll love him silently, without being with him.

Zachary is still unconscious and Riley and Grace were not in the favour of me to go and see him but somehow I asked Blake and he managed everything.

I quietly stepped inside and saw him on the hospital bed. He was unconscious but I don't know this time his face looks calm as if he's in peace despite being in pain.

My heart clenches watching him in this condition. His pale body full of bruises and cotton bandages.

I sat beside him and softly took his IV connected hand in mine. His touch reminded me of the times he touched me inappropriately but also the times when he loved me.

I never thought that a criminal like him will fall in love. It seems impossible, isn't it?

He will be okay, I know. He's a survivor, he'll be okay. He has to be okay for me.

I smiled painfully. On which road I am? How can I love and hate the same person all at once?

“I wish we met in better situation. If you were nice and then we would've fallen for each other and lived our own happily ever after where you would've been the best chef in town and I would've been running my dad's company. We would've together adopted daughter and I name her Claire so that you feel good and always find the sister you lost, in her. It would have been a fairy tale but I guess life's not a fairytale.” I said to him.

I placed a kiss on his forehead and smiled. It's okay. Everything will be okay now. We couldn't be together and we will never be.

I looked at him for one last time and left the room. Outside I saw Riley and Grace staring at me.

Uh. Okay.

“Do you have any f*cking idea that how much Zach loves you?” Riley asked.

I nodded. I know he loves me more than his own life.

“Forgive him, Em.” Chris said.

I looked at him in disbelief. Out of all person, how could he say this? He was my best friend, isn't it? Everything happened Infront of him, isn't it?

“I can't.” I replied.

“Please. I am begging you.” Blake whispered.

Why can't everyone understand that it's not about forgiving him. It's about my feelings. Love and hate can never go together and I feel both for him.

“I will leave, once Zachary's out of danger.”

“You're a bitch, you know that?” Grace rolled her eyes.

“I am sorry to say but so are you.” I answered.

And with that we both smiled a little.

I wish Zachary's wake up soon. I want nothing else than him to be alive.

A/N

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KRI🌼