Chapter 5 The Whole College Knows
Ayesha’s POV
I’d never been one to question fate. Never had I ever blamed circumstances or consequences on stuff like ‘kismet’. I believed it was one person’s karma that decided their fate. If you did good, you got good back, if you did bad, you got bad back. But I’d been proven wrong… and in the most horrific way I could possibly imagine.
“Ayesha please, you need to stop.” Rosalind, my best friend softly said, placing her hand on my back whilst clutching her Chanel school bag which was actually more of a purse to her chest.
“We don’t have to go to class if you don’t want to, Ash. I would totally understand if you want to stay in. ” Rosalind straightens her white fleece coat as she tugs on her cashmere scarf, ever the picture of grace and elegance.
“You understand nothing, Rose.” I grit my teeth so hard, it was a surprise my jaw didn’t break.
I wipe furiously at my eyes with the sleeves of my sweater as Rose flinches from my hard tone and takes a step back.
“Why are you being so mean to me? I’m only trying to help you feel better and be a good friend to you just like I always have been. Look, I know you’re not thinking clearly…”
I cut her off mid-sentence as I climb off my bed. “That’s the whole point, Rose. You don’t know anything, literally nothing. Stop trying to act like you understand what I’m going through. Hell, even I don't understand this. Apart from knowing that my life is ruined and I have no future whatsoever to speak of, I am in the dark. And it's so dark where I am right now Rose, that you couldn’t ever even dream of knowing in your daddy’s mansion with its shiny chandeliers and sparkly lights and silver mirrors.” Out of breath, I glare at my best friend, only feeling a tad guilty about it but even that bit evaporates into thin air when a wholly new spark of fury bursts through me.
“Jesus Christ, you’re gonna cry now?”
I can’t help but snicker when she dabs at her eyes in the most fashionable way possible. I feel this deep hate nestle in the pit of my mind for Rosalind, egged on by an all-new bitterness.
“You’re not yourself right now, Ash. Look, we can get through this together….”
She stops her babbling when I snap my fingers in front of her face.
“Are you daydreaming with open eyes, Rose? I’m the one who has to figure out how to be a good wife to a man twice my age who I know nothing about and the only thing I can hope for is that he allows me to continue college. And I can’t even refuse to marry him because then I would be the reason for my parents and little brother going homeless. I could never do that to them. I’ve been caged so damn tight Rose that nothing, absolutely nothing can break me out.” I take a deep breath, the words I’d been spinning around in my mind for the past week tasted like despair and broken hope on my tongue. The tears never come, a numbness taking over as instead of self-pity and misery, bitterness and contempt slowly creep into my being.
I slowly pick up my bag, knowing that going to class was the only thing that could keep me from completely tipping over the edge of sanity.
“There’s nothing for us to go through together anymore, Rose. I don’t want you to follow me out. I don’t want you to walk with me to classes. Just act like I don’t exist.” The only thing I hear is an audible gasp as I stumble out, tears finally welling up as I walk through the crowd of late students in a blurry haze.
I accidentally trip when my ankle clashes with a high-heeled boot and my well-worn sneaker nearly comes off in the process. I cough when I try to swallow down the lump formed in my throat as I try to steady myself. An immediate apology was dying to leave my mouth but that was before I realised it was Natasha Williams glaring down at me from her six feet plus 4-inch heels stature. And I could tell from the slight smirk forming on her face that it was she who’d tripped me… on purpose.
“Did you seriously just cough on my 10,000-dollar top? Fucking wench!” Natasha snarks and my head involuntarily drops low, my eyes drooping in defeat. I knew full well that it didn’t matter if she was the one who’d tripped me on purpose or if I had coughed or not, she would find an excuse to blame me for something anyway. She’d always succeeded in making me feel weak or small or unable to stand up for myself or make me think less of myself.
But today was different.
And every day from now on would be different. Because I’d lost the one battle that had ever mattered to me. The battle I’d been fighting for the life I’d wanted for myself.
Losing that battle had destroyed the ability of every fibre of my being to care for anything now. Natasha’s petty bullying was like a gentle shower of rain against the tsunami brewing within me, it just couldn’t compare.
I would take Natasha’s bullying every single second of every single day if only I could….
Natasha snaps her fingers in front of my face, sunlight glinting off her long red nails, which is when I notice that a small crowd is gathering in the corridor and we’re standing at the entrance of an ongoing class.
Any other day, my body would’ve been shaking from dread of my impending embarrassment but now there was just a cold, calm numbness occupying my being, making me thankfully indifferent to what was about to go down.
“But you know what, today is a good day, in fact, it’s a great day. So I forgive you. You’re welcome.” Natasha covers her malicious smirk with a wide grin, clearly a tact to fool me into thinking that she was going to be nice to me for once.
“In fact, I would like to congratulate you,” Natasha loudly proclaims, drawing the crowd in closer. My heart is screaming for me to run but my brain chooses to turn a deaf ear.
“Everyone”, Natasha beckons the crowd closer with a dramatic action of her hands. “Our dear Ayesha here has been engaged to Benjamin Kane, the very promiscuous and might I mention ‘very hot’ member of the infamous Kane family. Let’s all congratulate her now, shall we?” Ayesha cackles cruelly as the crowd slowly erupts in mock laughter.
Everyone was laughing at me. Once again.
Everyone knew how pathetic I was. Once again.
The devastating difference was that now….. I was starting to believe it too.
“What’s this commotion outside my class? Miss Wiliams, stop making everyone late for their lectures.” Professor Mckinley makes an appearance, raising a questioning brow.
“Well professor, don’t you know? Miss Wilson here is to be married to Benjamin Kane, Daniel’s uncle.” Natasha carries on with her charade, not seeming anywhere near stopping. First my peers, now professors?
Wow! Just wow!
My heart thuds in my chest, slowly shrivelling away in an embarrassment so deep, I remain rooted to my spot. Unable to make myself walk and get away.
I feel the student's and Professor Mckinley’s gazes burning holes in my head, my chest tightens to the point where I find it hard to breathe. I dig my nails into my palms hard enough to draw blood so that I would have something else to focus on than my very public humiliation.
“Well, is that right?” Mckinley looks me up and down as I uncomfortably squirm under his gaze, wanting to disappear right then and there.
“I’m honestly not surprised, what else can you expect from these scholarship girls? Always trying to take advantage of the kindness of us Americans. And that too with a man twice your age, Ayesha?” Mckinley scoffs in disapproval as the whole crowd snickers and throws vulgar comments my way.
Some are decent enough to look at me with pity, some look at me with disgust and some with malicious intent. But not one comes forward to stop this. This was bullying in its most potent form and not even the professor recognized it and if that wasn’t bad enough, he was the one leading it. That told you everything you needed to know about just how “aware” America was about bullying or abuse.
“It seems these girls from third-world countries will do anything for money and take down the name of such a prestigious university as Harvard. But I will not allow such a thing. I will see to it that you are expelled as soon as…”
“Mckinley.” An imposing voice makes itself known and the crowd parts like the red sea.