Chapter 60 End Of Our Relationship
Sarah
Shawn didn't show up. Not Friday, not Saturday, not Sunday. So I spent the weekend alone, foolishly hoping that he'd be here any minute now!
I listened to the engine outside the gate, to the footsteps and the click of the lock, as usual. But all I heard was the barking of the neighbors' dogs, the rustling of the wind outside the window, and an oppressive silence.
I called him a few more times because I was worried something had happened to him. Shawn was constantly disappearing on the road, flying. I was completely worn out; I'd worked myself up to the point of terror. But, thank God, I got a reply. Albeit a rather callous one: "I'm really busy right now. I'll call when I'm free."
Is that really it? Is this the end of our "friendship"? Should I pack my things?
After ignoring him, I wanted to do just that. Throwing my phone on the table, I understood everything without words. I'm not young enough to figure it out. If someone ignores your messages or calls but still logs on, it means they simply don't need you anymore.
My phone, lying alone on the table, suddenly rang. I rushed to it like a scalded cat, but saw my Kate's number on the screen.
What if something really happened to Shawn? I answered immediately.
"Sarah, hi! I have something urgent to ask you!" Kate cooed into the phone.
"Hi. What happened?"
"My parents are arriving tomorrow! They're flying in from abroad, and I'm throwing a small reception to celebrate their arrival. We're waiting for you." She said.
"Really?" I shocked.
"Of course, come!" She determined.
I grew quiet, lost in thought. My gut instinct was indignant, but I somehow ignored it, citing the anxiety I'd caused myself.
"So, are you coming? These are our parents; they want to meet. Talk, discuss the situation face-to-face." She asked.
"Yes, I'll come. Where and what time?"
She gave me the address. "It'll be a quiet, family evening, don't worry too much. Just for my family."
"Okay." She quickly hung up.
I'd been feeling strangely weak since the morning, so honestly, I had no desire to go shopping for a new outfit. She said it would be a quiet, family dinner. I'm not used to extravagance, so I wore the very dress Shawn gave me after he let me stay at his house.
It's not cheap, it's from a famous brand, so it'll do just fine. Especially since I'd only worn it a couple of times.
The day passed monotonously and joylessly. I couldn't avoid worrying about the upcoming meeting with my parents. Tomorrow evening I'll see my mom and dad in person. Before, we tried to communicate via Skype, but the connection kept dropping. We'd only managed a couple of sentences.
My problems didn't end there. I started feeling much worse and realized I was late... I bought a pregnancy test. For the first time in my life.
Of course, I knew how to use it; I wasn't living in the woods, after all, but that wasn't what worried me most! What worried me more was that I... damn! I was in deep trouble. I couldn't even imagine what awaited me in the near future.
But I'm nauseous, that's a fact! My period is late. And certain smells are incredibly irritating. I've also started getting tired quickly and falling asleep almost on the fly. I attributed it all to hormonal imbalances or work stress; after all, I'd only recently joined a new team.
I finally go to the restroom and take a pregnancy test. But I already have a gut feeling it will be positive, a premonition. Too many symptoms screaming trouble!
I follow the instructions, then wait. This moment is my death throes. I want to burst into tears with fear!
Dazed, I look at the test in my hand, and everything blurs before my eyes from the abundant tears.
Two lines.
OH GOD!
Am I... am I pregnant? Is this a dream? Are you hallucinating? Is this a faulty test? But what about birth control...
I'm not a little child! I was taking the pill. The same day I started living with Shawn, I bought some at the pharmacy.
From whom? There's no other way. Because I've only ever been with one man in my entire life. And he... my sister's fiancé.
It felt like a whole skyscraper had fallen on me, and I realized I'd gotten too caught up in this game called "happy life."
Silly girl!
I... how did this happen? How could I? I couldn't fight back against those stupid, strong feelings. So what happened?
I'm pregnant. And Shawn started treating me too coldly, as if he'd cooled off.
Did he really do it on purpose? Did he just turn my head, hiding behind pity and the fact that I'm his girlfriend's sister? So he couldn't just walk away and abandon me to my fate.
Okay!
Breathe, Di! You have to hold on. Deep breath in and out. Inhale and exhale. I have to calm down and stop worrying myself.
I need to sort this all out, talk to Shawn. Tell him the important news. I'm so scared! I can't imagine how he'll react if he already has other plans for his personal life! And I'm not part of them.
I'm emotionally choking.
I dial his number. All I hear is a monotonous ringing sound, but no one picks up. I try again, and then the call is simply hung up.