chapter[43]

chapter[43]
CHAPTER 43


Noah.

What happened had happened; there was no point in dwelling on it. All I did was obey Selena's wishes, and perhaps, in my heart, I believed she might be right. If I were to forgive people, maybe they would leave us alone. I didn't like to act like a weak person because I was far from it, and I swore I would never be. But I had to admit that I was kind of soft when it came to Selena.

I let things go, but I made it my mission to be as close to her as possible, to be her protector and her confidant. I established strict boundaries around her, especially concerning Steven and Ahmet. I had my reasons, and they were good ones. Selena was exhausted from the pregnancy, and her doctor had scheduled check-ups on the babies almost every week. We had just returned to our palace, a place that felt both safe and isolating. During this time, Selena poured herself into her writing, focusing intently on her new novel.

I had delayed the publication of her previous works because she had asked me to wait until she finished this one. Surprisingly, it was taking her a very long time. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was crafting what would turn out to be one of her best novels yet, or if perhaps she was losing some of her focus and memory. But, despite the long hours spent immersed in her writing, she looked fine—radiant, even.

In my mind, I had taken steps to ensure Ahmet could only visit her in our home, and I made sure to keep the maids and my guards nearby. After all, Selena was so overwhelmed with her writing that she didn’t much care for socializing. Her belly had grown so large that it resembled a huge balloon, and I often found myself captivated by her beauty. It took immense effort to keep my hands and body away from her, and I missed her touch more than I could articulate. But I couldn’t allow myself to sleep with her, even when she begged. The risk to her life and the lives of our unborn children was too great.

Months passed peacefully, or so I thought, until Steven began asking Ahmet to live with him. I didn’t care much about their arrangement, but I kept a close watch on them, even hiring investigators to keep tabs on their activities. I wanted to be sure nothing unusual was happening. To my relief, nothing alarming came to light. Steven had lost interest in publishing any of Selena’s books, and soon it became evident that he no longer desired to be close to her. I still didn’t trust him—or anyone around Selena, for that matter.

As the eighth month of Selena's pregnancy approached, her temper began to swing wildly. She started throwing tantrums and yelling more often, even at her assistants and the maids. I understood that her mood swings were part of the process, but it was still challenging. The doctor had already briefed me on her emotional fluctuations, and I was determined to learn how to calm her down when she needed it.

However, tonight was different. There was a very important meeting in Russia, and I couldn’t take her with me. I had promised to finish my illegal business dealings, but I felt the weight of my responsibilities pressing down on me. Being weak and handing over my position to someone else was not an option; it would expose me to my enemies, and I wouldn’t make that mistake—not for the sake of my wife and our unborn children.

Or maybe I loved what I did. I thrived on the power and fear I instilled in others. I loved being a commander, the one in charge. That was who I was, and that was the dream I had fought tirelessly to achieve. I couldn’t handle the thought of losing everything I had built. These meetings were dangerous; men from all over the world would gather, and this was our annual secret gathering. I had to leave Selena at home, instructing her to stay put and not step outside.

My heart ached at the thought of leaving her alone, but it was only for two days. I had left most of my guards surrounding her like a protective shadow, ensuring she would be safe from any potential threats.

"Noah," she pouted, wrapping her arms around my neck, her eyes pleading.

I leaned down, resting my lips against her neck, kissing her gently. "Yes, baby?"

She sighed, frustration evident in her voice. "Please take me with you. I don’t want to be bored here alone. You know I won’t interrupt your business. I won’t be a distraction at all. I just haven’t gotten used to sleeping alone since we met."

I blew out a deep breath, feeling the weight of her words. "I can’t, baby. It’s just two days. I promise I’ll try to come back earlier for you." I wanted to explain more, to share the dangers that lay ahead, but I could see her eyes softening, and if she pressed her lips against mine and looked at me with those puppy eyes, I knew I would be tempted to take her with me.

She nodded, irritation flickering in her expression. "Okay, but just call me every hour. And don’t sleep with any other woman. If you do, I swear I will cut off your dick, cook it, and then feed it to you. Got that?" Her brows raised in a serious warning.

I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. "Oh my god, my sweet, sweetie has turned into a merciless killer. Don’t worry; you know I won’t touch any other woman. But—" I smirked, teasing her, "I can’t promise I won’t touch any guys."

She pushed my chest playfully, a look of mock outrage on her face. "Fuck you, Noah," she muttered.

I pulled her closer to my chest, pecking her lips softly. "Selena, you know I will never sleep with anyone else. I love you now and forever. Don’t try to play this game with me to convince me to take you along. Because I won’t, and I can’t."

She huffed in response, her stubbornness shining through. "Seriously, if you don’t come back on time, I will kill you."

I nodded, smiling as I pulled her into a bear hug. "I promise, baby. Unless something bad happens to me, and maybe I will die or something. Who knows?" I shrugged, trying to keep the mood light.

She gasped, eyes wide with alarm. "What the hell are you talking about? Oh my god—" she exhaled loudly, placing a hand over her chest as if to steady herself.

Dammit, I was being stupid. I had made her worry, and that was the last thing I wanted, especially now. It was a terrible time for me to be careless, and I needed to keep her calm for the sake of her and the babies.

I kissed her hand immediately, trying to reassure her. "I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just want you to know if anything happens to me—" I hesitated, revealing a secret I had kept hidden for too long. "I’ve already written my will. Everything I own will be yours after my death. I’ve taken care of everything."

I needed her to understand my life was always in danger. I wasn’t a saint; I was a killer, a drug dealer, and involved in countless illegal businesses. I planted and manufactured drugs, produced and traded weapons legally and illegally, and killed for the sake of politics and money. I wasn’t going to die and go to heaven; men like me could only find their heaven in this life, not the next. And Selena was my heaven on earth.

"Please, don’t go," she begged, her voice dropping to a whisper, filled with emotion.

Trying to lighten the mood, I picked her up in my arms, cradling her like a bride. "Oh my gosh, you’re getting heavy now."

She chuckled lightly, her eyes sparkling. "That’s your own crime. I should be the one complaining. I look like a bomb that might explode at any second."

I walked down the stairs toward the gate, placing her back on her feet and kissing her forehead softly. "Honey, I need to go now. Don’t step outside for any reason. Don’t meet anyone. Don’t talk to anyone—just me and only me. Got that?" I lectured her again, my voice serious.

She nodded, adjusting my necktie with a smile. "Don’t worry. I won’t forget you in those two days. I think my memory is just fine. Maybe I needed to be pregnant to balance out my feminine hormones," she mocked.

I rolled my eyes, unable to help the smile that crept onto my face. "Feminine hormones? Your estrogen is off the charts, sweetheart."

She smiled at my words, and I stepped back, waving at her as I prepared to leave.

I hurried out, gesturing for her to go back inside. I commanded my men to ensure she remained indoors, under no circumstances should she step outside or I would kill them. I knew her memory wasn’t as sharp as it once was; she was forgetting little things, and I had noticed. I couldn’t risk her stepping outside, especially not now. She was eight months pregnant, and in just one more month, our children would enter the world. I wanted to be there for her, ready to support her and make sure she was relaxed and safe as we prepared for this monumental change in our lives.

As I left, I felt a mix of dread and determination settle in my chest. I would do everything in my power to protect her and our unborn children, no matter the cost.