Chapter 20

An hour later after the plane crash

Maybe there was no death as here I was, in immense pain, bloody and injured while stuck under an airplane wing, still bloody alive. My private jet was now unrecognizable with pieces of debris lying all over everywhere. The smell of smoke filled the air and burned my nose as I tried to breathe.

I stared on my side and got the shock of my life as I looked into the lifeless eyes of my air hostess, with a part of the airplane body stuck in her chest. I almost hurled and wanted to move away but I could not even move a single part of my body and was stuck there. I also knew my pilot must have suffered the same fate, of death. And just as always, I had not died yet, but as I looked at the amount of blood I was losing, maybe this time it would actually happen.

But I hoped this time no one would come to save me and it’s not as if anyone would miss me as I was surrounded by fake people everywhere. Who were all after money, heck I had even given Ricky the benefit of doubt thinking he was like a brother to me and well I had just been proven wrong as he was just like everyone else.

But oh well maybe he had just done me a favor as this is what I wanted, to die.

Lying there on that bloody grass ground, a miraculous thing happened as I heard that little gentle voice whispering but this time it sounded different as though someone greater was speaking to me directly, "It's not too late for you Nathan."

And suddenly the memories started coming by force as I got ready to face my death. Forcing me to start thinking about my life the past and the present to see where I had gone wrong. How I had come to this and what I had done with my life.

All my quests for revenge, destroying people's lives and greed. And all that money, which had made me feel like the king of the world, how arrogant I was, and how proud I was.

And the thoughts did nothing to soothe me as I knew that if God truly existed then I was totally headed for Hell...

*****

I then remembered that poor orphan girl I had mistreated. The way I had allowed for her to be bullied and robbed her of her one chance at getting an education.

I then remembered and saw the words that had been written on her shirt flash before my eyes.

“The Lord watches over all who love him but all the wicked he will destroy.” Psalm 145:20

Could that have been a warning to me, I thought to myself. Could her God really be the one to have caused all these tragedies in my life because if so then bravo to him as he had completely destroyed me. But then again maybe I should not blame this God as most of the troubles in my life were my fault, and the choices I made.

And I then thought of the first words she told me as she left school because of me.

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, remember those words, Nathan." Well, I sure as hell was now remembering.

The old man butler I disrespected, the poor mansion workers who watched me squandering money selfishly when they had nothing to eat at home even getting fired by me, losing their jobs, the poor relatives my family could have helped like Aunt Maggie who were in need of financial help while we were busy buying cars we don't need,

The poor orphan whose life I wickedly ruined. The people I ruined in my revenge game instead of forgiving and forgetting.

I then realized that those words came true because the same way I treated people, rudely, being arrogant and selfish when disaster struck of my mother's death, I also got the same treatment from them. Which I totally deserved.

If I had been a much better person, I could have gotten a different treatment, but I instead wanted revenge. Because of my revenge games, here I now lay bloodied on the floor on the receiving end of Revenge from another person Ricky.

I winced with each memory showing me how selfish, arrogant, and evil I had become as Nathan Silverman the Billionaire.

I then remembered the orphan’s last words.

"But I forgive you Nathan for what you've done to me and may God have mercy on you as I fear for you following the ways of the devil as the devil came to destroy, steal, lie and cheat but Jesus came to bring happiness and abundant life," she said that to me and then rushed to class where she collected her things and left the school to never return ever again.

Had I actually been following the ways of the devil all my life? And by not loving God, removed his protection from me allowing the devil to do whatever he wanted with my life. To steal the life of my mother, to cause my father to kill, to steal my inheritance, to break me until I was nothing, hopeless and lifeless.

And to then sway me with drugs and the love of money again so I could do his dirty work destroying other lives with the drug business and afterward his done with me, throw me away like useless trash destroying me once again.

Had I actually done that, I thought to my self as regret tears started flowing down my face. Had I actually caused this destruction upon myself all because of my Pride and arrogance in thinking that by building my world on empty promises and material things I was indestructible and did not need God?

By also giving in to my bitterness not wanting to ask God for help after the devil attacked me. In thinking that I could fix it all on my own.

And now here I was, feeling so exposed and realizing how much of a mess I have been. And now I could end up bleeding to death at this moment without fixing my mistakes or making things right as time was running out. I felt so helpless thinking that all this time I had been blind and now that my eyes had been opened, it was too late to fix things.

"Ah ah Nathan, Nothing is impossible when it comes to me, God." that little gentle voice said to me a second time and the next thing to happen was that I could not believe my eyes as looking up I saw writings forming up in the sky using clouds.

And the writings read, But God is faithful and fair. If we admit that we have sinned, he will forgive us our sins. He will forgive every wrong thing we have done. He will make us pure” (1 John 1:9).

Tears started wailing down my face as I could not believe that this God still wanted me, even after all I had done, even after all the times I had rejected him, cursed him even working with his enemy the devil. And here he was offering to just forgive and forget, "But why God, why are you being so quick to offer me forgiveness when the things I have done are so unforgivable?" I said asking him and saw the writing in the clouds change to new words.

"It's because I Love you Nathan and nothing neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation shall be able to separate you from my love which is in my son Jesus Christ." Romans 8.35.

I can assuredly say that more tears started falling down my face as It had been a long time since I'd ever felt loved by anyone and here was this great Creator God telling me he loved me.

How could I not cry? If only many Christians in the world showed others how loving their God was then I'm pretty sure many people would have changed their ways because as for me right there and then feeling so loved made me want to become a better person, to please this God who loved me so much when I did not deserve it.

"God, I admit that I have sinned; in fact, I was the chief of sinners filled with bitterness and anger. I was wrong in running away from you God and doing what I wanted to do. I just want to say I'm sorry and won't you please forgive me?" I quickly whispered knowing that I was about to breathe my last breath on this filthy ground as I had lost a lot of blood.

To think that at the moment I decide that I want to still live and fix my mistakes, that is the moment I get that dreaded wish I have been hoping all along for...Death.

"God if you are hearing me, I need a miracle," I whispered in desperation not ready to die as I breathed my last breath hoping it was not too late.

As I died an unexpected thing then happened...