Chapter 38

Chapter 38
Sunlight streamed through the curtains, casting the room in a soft glow. Lily stirred awake to the faint rustle of paper. She turned her head and saw Ethan sitting at her desk, dressed in casual clothes. He looked freshly out of the shower, sleeves rolled up, a book in hand.

The image felt slightly foreign. They didn’t sleep in the same bedroom, and most mornings when she woke up, he was already gone for work or on a business trip. Often, he didn’t even come home at all.

“Why haven’t you left yet?” she asked, her voice still raspy from sleep.

“Good morning,” he said instead. “Should I help you wash now?”

“No, thank you.”

“Why? Are you shy? You don’t have to be. I’ve seen everything,” he said teasingly.

Lily froze. Her hands clenched the sheets. He remembered? 

The one time they slept together. 

It was their first wedding anniversary.

He had come home drunk from a business dinner. She helped him inside and said goodbye to his assistant. As she closed the door, he pinned her against the wall and kissed her.

Her second kiss, the first being on their wedding day.

She felt hopeful that night, thinking they were finally going to live as a real couple. Thinking that night meant something. 

But by the time she woke up the next morning, he was gone. 

Off on another business trip. 

Later that night, Stacy posted a photo of the two of them in a hotel room, with wine glasses on the table.

Lily’s stomach twisted. She turned her face toward the window.

“Just help me call a maid,” she said coldly.

Ethan said nothing. He stood up and walked out of the room

When Lily got to the dining room,  her parents and Ethan were already seated.

“Good morning, Mom and Dad.”

“Good morning, dear.”

“Good morning, sweetie.”

She was wheeled to her usual place at the table and glanced around. “Where’s Aspen?”

“The silly boy left for work before daybreak,” her mother grumbled. “That child never listens. I spoke to him just yesterday, and not even a day later, he’s already thrown everything I said out the window.” 

Her mom sighed, but didn’t say anything else. 

Her father reached out to rub her back, trying to calm her. “Alright, dear, you have to give the kids space to figure things out.”

“Forget about him. Come there and have an egg. It’s good for the bones,” her father turned to Lily with a smile, handing her the peeled egg.

After breakfast, her mother asked, “What are your plans for today?” 

“I want to refine some drafts for the company’s new collection. And interview some candidates for my shop.”

“So you’re staying home all day.”

“Yes.”

“You were cooped up in the hospital room during your stay there, and now that you’re back home, you plan to stay inside again?” Her mother’s voice rose. “Don’t you know sunlight is good for your recovery? Vitamin D, young lady.”

Her mom was nagging again. Where was Aspen when you needed him? At least he could take the heat off her with his antics.

“I’ll go to the garden in the evening then,” Lily muttered in resignation.

“Not enough. You need to go outside.”

“The garden is outside.”

Her mother shot her a glare. “Ethan,” she turned toward him, “take her for a stroll. Just around the estate is fine, the fresh air will be good for her.”

“If you want to go further, like a—”

“The estate is outside enough,” Lily interrupted, already done with the conversation.

Her mother smiled, satisfied at the small victory.

The gravel crunched beneath the wheels of the chair as Ethan pushed her down the walkway. Around them were hedges covered with blooming flowers on either side. The fresh scent of spring filled the air as they passed through the garden to get to the back gate.

For a long time, neither of them spoke.

Then, Ethan said quietly, “Can we not get a divorce?”

Lily turned slightly to look at him. “Why? Because you feel guilty?”

“No. That’s not it,” he hurriedly answered. “I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t love you.”

Lily gave a bitter laugh.  “Love me?” 

She shook her head. “Ethan, in the three years we’ve been married, have you ever shown me love? 

She turned around fully, meeting his eyes. “Do you really consider yourself my husband?”

He opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

Lily smiled bitterly as the silence stretched, her voice calm but sharp. “Before… I used to think that even though you didn’t love me, I was at least your best friend. But now, looking back, I don’t think I was that.”

“Lily I—”

“Ethan, you left for five years without even saying goodbye.” Her voice broke slightly. “Throughout that period, you didn't call. Since you got back, you haven’t even offered an apology. Not to me. Or Chloe. Or Miles. Not even an explanation. Nothing”

Ethan’s hands tightened slightly around the handles of the wheelchair.

“You came back. We got married. But nothing changed. You’re hardly ever home. You basically disappeared again. What do you take me for?” 

Her voice dropped. “I can’t keep doing this.”

He walked around to stand in front of her. He crouched a little, shortening the distance between them— but only physically.

“I had my reasons for leaving.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What are the reasons?”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Start somewhere. Anywhere. I’ll listen.”

“Lily…” He reached a hand towards her, but she turned away before he could touch her.

He dropped his hand back to his side. “You’ve always been the most important person in my life.”

Lily scoffed. “You don’t treat me like it, though.”

“I’ve never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did.” She exhaled, eyes focused on the distance. “Over and over.”

“If you’re not going to be honest,” she said, voice low, “don’t bother talking at all.” 

There was a pause. Then— 

“Sign the divorce papers as soon as possible,” she added. “I don’t want us to have to take this to court. It would only make it ugly for everyone.”

Ethan didn’t reply.

The rest of the walk passed in silence.

They passed the park. The orchard. The pond they used to feed fish in. The Apple tree Ethan had fallen off of when they were children. 

Everything around painted the picture of their story— their past and present. 

But their future, they probably had no future together, though.

When they neared the west gate, Lily finally spoke.

“Let’s go back home.”

Ethan turned the wheelchair around without a word.

Around them was a colourful world, but neither of them noticed.