Harper blinked her eyes open and sat upright in the bed, looking around the room that had become hers for the past weeks. She recalled the event of the night.
*Alex kissed me.
I kissed him back.
Lucas.*
She cringed, feeling a whirlwind of emotions at the pit of her stomach at the thought of Lucas’ face, looking betrayed.
For most of her life, she always felt like she was on the outside looking in. She had always been the girl who would only get asked when no one was available, always the second choice or last resort. In high school, she was always the sidekick, the third wheel. But that all changed when she met Lucas in college. He was everyone’s cup of tea, and he was always nice to her, even kinder than anyone else. And she had been infatuated by him since then, but Lucas’s popularity had convinced her that she would never be good enough for him. She was so convinced then that he would never feel for her anything even remotely close to how she felt about him. And they would never be anything more than friends.
However, that changed the second he kissed her. And she smiles at the memory even to this day. Lucas had proved―and demonstrated―it to her twice that she was wrong all along. From then on, she had been living her life with butterflies in her stomach since that night. But that morning, she felt sick to her stomach, guilt slowly eating her up inside. She had allowed Alex to kiss her, but the worst part really was when she kissed him back.
Then she slapped him.
“Shit!”
Her heart clogged her throat at once because there was something really wrong with what she did. She needed to talk to someone.
Grabbing her phone from the bedside table, she called Kendal. Giving good advice might not be Kendal’s forte, but she was good at hitting Harper with facts. She knew she had to face Alex and talk to him, and she didn’t want to end up telling him another stupid white lie, and Kendal would exactly know what to say so she shouldn’t. *Hopefully.*
“How’s the bath?” Kendal immediately spoke when the call connected. “Were you able to keep your hands to yourself?” she laughed.
"He kissed me,” Harper blurted out. There was no other way to say it, and she didn’t want any fancy introduction for the kiss. The kiss was with Alex, not with Lucas. It definitely did not deserve any flowery adjectives.
“No, shit! You did?”
“He did.”
“Okay. What happened exactly?”
"I was giving him a bath. After that, he asked me to pat him dry, and he just…kissed me.” It was almost impossible to keep Harper’s voice level.
“Hmmm… okay.”
“Kendal…Alex kissed me. Is that your *only* reaction? Really?” She swallowed hard to try to keep herself straight.
Kendal sighed. “Well, I sort of anticipated it already. I mean, the poor guy thinks you are his fiancé. I’m even surprised he didn’t kiss you sooner.”
There was silence from Harper as she absorbed this fact from Kendal. She knew she could always rely on her friend for some hard-hitting ones. Then her frustrations washed over her when she remembered she kissed Alex back.
"And I kissed him back," her voice broke again, and she took a deep, steadying breath. "Lucas and I are just getting started and now…this.”
“Hmmm… I have to say you have been busy, Harper.” Kendal giggled.
“This is no laughing matter.”
“I’m sorry. Wait! Did you just say you and Lucas are getting started?”
“Yes!”
There was another long silence on the other end of the phone as she could feel Kendal reading between the lines. “Oh my god! I knew it! Why are you just telling this to me now?”
“I’m sorry. Things have been pretty crazy up here.”
“Details, please?”
“Some other time.”
“Oh, come on!”
“I promise. I need to fix this shit with Alex first. I kind of slapped him after the kiss.”
“You did what?”
“Slapped him.”
“Oh, I heard you. Poor guy! I mean, you lied to him, he believed you, he kissed you because he thinks you guys are really together, so no biggie. And maybe…just maybe…he’s such a good kisser that’s why you couldn’t help it, and you kissed him back. And then you slapped him? Could you be any more cruel?”
Harper finally sighed. “What should I do?”
“Say you’re sorry, duh! He’s not at fault here. You are.”
“Okay. And maybe I should be a little nicer to him, too? But he’s despicable. I don’t like him at all. He gets into my nerves.”
“Is he still? Do you still?”
This question had never crawled up her spine before because this was Alex, the smug CEO she hated the minute she laid eyes on him, but that's not who he was anymore. Thanks to her little white lie, he was now her fiancé, the man whom she was supposed to devote her loyalty and affection.
“Look,” Kendal spoke when she didn’t know what to respond to the question. “You don’t have to care very deeply about him. Just be nice to him. This is your fault, after all.”
“And what if he kisses me again? Worse, what if he wants to…you know.”
“Tell him you’re not ready. Just try not to make up any more lies, or you’ll end up knee-deep in trouble. Oh, god, Harper. I have so many questions. I don’t really know what’s going on with your life anymore.”
“Me too. Look, I have to go.”
“Okay. Just update me.”
“I will.” Harper ended the call and jumped out of bed to the door. She opened it slowly and peeked out into the hallway. She leaned against the doorway when she heard Libby and Alex’s nurses’ voices from downstairs. She couldn't help the pounding in her chest when one of the nurses told Libby Alex was a bit more irate that morning.
She took a deep breath, focusing on the task at hand, which was to apologize to Alex. She had never thought of ever apologizing to the haughty CEO. But she had no choice. She must really be in love with Lucas now to do all this for him. But he didn’t tell her to pretend to be Alex’s fiancée, now did he?
Harper cursed at herself.
She creeped out of the main door and found Alex sitting on the porch. As she got closer to him, she could see that he had a scornful look on his face. She gulped, hoping this wouldn’t be too hard.
“Hey, Alex.” She hesitantly slid into the seat across from him.
His eyes snapped up from where he had been looking, a nearby oak tree, then settled on her. “What are you doing here?” His voice was flat and uncaring.
Harper told herself to keep her cool as it was expected. She shrugged, folding her hands on her lap. “Oh, you know. Saw you sitting in here, figured I could keep you company...and…maybe…apologize?”
He smirked, raising an eyebrow at her. “Maybe?” While his tone had become less firm, the implication of his word was not lost on her.
Pursing her lips, Harper leaned back. “I come in peace, Alex.” She leaned forward. “I’m sorry that I slapped you.”
“You know, it actually got me thinking,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee in a porcelain cup. “Was I mean to you? Did I mistreat you?”
Harper knew the last thing she could do was tell him the truth. He wasn’t specifically mean to her, but she was never a fan of him. “No.”
“Then, why?”
“Um…Dr. Miller actually said it would be better for your memories to come back on their own. He said that dumping you with information wouldn’t be helpful to you. Your brain would overwork itself to try and remember, and it would do you more harm than good. Like headaches.” Harper swore Dr. Miller had told her exactly those, but she couldn’t really be too sure.
“So, we’d just have to wait and hope, fingers crossed, for my memory to come back?”
“I guess.”
“You know, Harper, I’m not an idiot,” Alex said.
Her heart hitched. “I don’t think you are.”
He sighed. “Is there someone else?”
“What?”
“I kissed you, and then you suddenly slapped me.” At the sight of her slightly open mouth, he frowned. “I can’t think of any other reason.”
“Okay. You caught me,” she found herself saying, holding her hands up, desperately reading his face and hoping he wasn’t angry with her.
“I’m not really sure how to react. I mean, you’re actually right, without my memory, I’m not really sure what I feel about you. It’s feels like I just met you. So, I’m not really sure what to feel or think.”
“I understand.” Harper then thought maybe Alex would keep his distance now.
“Are you still with…*him*?” Alex asked with a small, sad smile.
Should she tell him about Lucas?
His eyes closed, and she could see the exhaustion and dejection written all over his face and, for the first time in weeks, her heart squeezed in her chest at the sight.
“We’re―um…” What should she tell him now? Should she tell him that they had actually broken the engagement before his accident? Another lie?
“It’s okay, Harper. I think I get it now. I wasn’t nice to you. Maybe I cheated. Then you met someone else who treated you right. Am I right?” He sighed. “I don’t think I’m the same person anymore. So, you can actually tell me.”
“Alex…”
“Was I really that bad?” He placed his palm over his chest. Suddenly, pain flared in his chest, and he winced. “Oh, dammit!”
“Alex, are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just trying to remember what I have done to you, you know?” Dragging in an uneven breath, he squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck! Why does it hurts every time I try to remember shit.”
“Alex, stop it.” Harper stood up and sat next to him, then lightly touched his shoulder. “Please, don’t force it. I’ll tell you. Look, you’re right okay? But we were actually trying to start over again. That’s why I’m still here. For a second chance.”
“Really?” Alex’s head hurt, and he felt the sharp pain in his chest surge again.
“Yes. Just relax. Perhaps you’ll remember more when you’ve fully recovered.”
The pain in his head was pounding now, washing over him. Then, at last, he sighed. “Maybe you’re right.” He laid back against the cushions in his seat.
“Just breathe. Clear your mind.”
Alex closed his eyes and nodded slowly, sinking further back into the couch. He was rubbing his temples with the thumb and index finger of his right hand. A couple of minutes later, he opened his eyes, looked down at Harper’s hand before looking at her. His lips formed a lazy smile. “Is that the…ah…the ring?”
“What?”
“The engagement ring I gave you?”
Harper pushed her hair behind her ear and was silent, for it was not, yet she couldn’t really tell Alex that. She clasped a hand over Lucas’ promise ring on her finger.
“Not so bad. I must admit, I have good taste. Although I think I’d prefer a bigger diamond rock.”
“Why?”
Alex returned his eyes to the big oak tree. Thinking.
“I’ll prepare some snacks.” Harper forced herself to stand up before he could reply. She didn’t want to continue the conversation. Not when she couldn’t seem to stop lying to him. So when she heard him softly say, “Because you simply deserve the best,” she pretended like she didn’t hear him.