chapter 30

Karainsistedonkeeping Hank when I left with Blake. She also didn’t let me leave until she’d threatened Blake within an inch of his life. She’d gone full-on momma bear, and I loved her all the more for it, even if I was the one who’d done the hurting.

On the way to Isaac’s, Blake held my hand and mentioned a time or two how scary Kara was. He drove slowly towards the ranch, giving me time to get myself together. I didn’t know if any amount of time was going to help. My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt it in my gut that Julian wasn’t going to react the way I hoped he would. He was going to be angry, rightfully so. That didn’t make it any less hard to walk into. Even if I deserved him hating me, I didn’t want him to.

“He’s got big emotions. He always has. He’s quicker to react, but he loves hard and gives everything when he decides to. That shit with Grace fucked with him, and he’s been more reclusive than ever, but the old Julian is still there.”

“I hope I didn’t just break the old Julian.”

“Just keep breathing.” Blake turned off towards the ranch and squeezed my hand. “I’ll be there for you.”

I realized I was holding my breath and forced myself to blow the air out and suck in another breath. I hated confrontation. As sassy as I could be, I never wanted people to dislike me. I didn’t want to be the bad guy. There was just no getting around it, though.

Isaac and Julian were sitting on the porch when Blake parked his truck. They both stood up and moved towards us, but I couldn’t get out.

Blake undid my seatbelt and cupped the back of my neck. “Just be honest.”

“If only I’d taken that advice a while ago.”

“Come on.” He climbed out and went to move around to open my door, but Julian moved in.

Opening my door and stepping in, Julian cupped my chin and turned my face to his. “What’s going on, Red?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, the epitome of maturity. “Oh, Julian.”

Isaac swore in the background and drew Julian’s attention. Seeing his brothers staring at him, Julian stiffened. “What is it, Red?”

I forced myself to look up at him and meet his cautious gaze. “I…I have something I need to tell you.”

“I got that part, Mallory. What is it?” He’d already started shutting down. I could feel it in his body.

I winced at hearing him say my full name. “I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you before. I was stupid and scared. I just—”

“Just spit it the fuck out.”

I glanced up and saw Blake moving towards us, his brows furrowed. I knew that I was messing things up for them. Looking back at Julian, I dug my fingernails into my thighs. “I got pregnant after we had sex. The first time.”

He frowned and shook his head. “What?”

“I got pregnant. And I had the baby. Hank. I had Hank. He’s yours.” I swallowed and tried to rush on to get everything out. “I know that I should’ve told you as soon as I found out; I should’ve come back here and found you. I should’ve told you as soon as I got back here and met Isaac. I did so many things wrong. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

He stumbled back a step, and then anger burned to life in his eyes. “They knew?”

I blinked, stunned stupid by the question. “What?”

Jerking his head towards his brothers, he growled. “They knew, didn’t they? They knew, and they didn’t tell me.”

I watched in horror as Julian stormed towards his brothers, fury clear on his face. “No, Julian! They didn’t know!”

It was too late. Julian spotted the frustration on Blake’s face and centered his ire on him. “What was it this time? Did you think it’d be easier to edge me out if I didn’t know she had my fucking kid?”

Blake tried to deny the accusations, but Julian caught him off guard with a punch to the chin. Blake stumbled back a step and then came back even harder at Julian. Isaac did his best to push them apart but then Julian swung at him, too.

“Stop!” I ran towards them screaming, my heart in my throat. I’d never seen grown men fight, and I didn’t ever want to see it again, especially men I cared about. “Stop it!”

“You fuckers are always pushing me out! You did this, didn’t you?” Julian was raging, a cut on his lip bleeding. “That’s my kid! You were going to take him, too?”

Isaac grabbed Julian in a headlock and tried to hold him steady, but then Blake landed a hard punch to Julian’s stomach that just kept the fight going. “We just found out, asshole! Stop fucking fighting us. You’re going to get yourself hurt!”

I grabbed Blake and tried to pull him, but he was too strong. He just dragged me closer to the fight. “It’s my fault! Be mad at me! Please, stop!”

Blake threw another punch at Julian, but Julian managed to turn Isaac into it. Julian lashed out at Blake, but Blake swung his big body backward to dodge it and elbowed me in the face.

I went down hard, my mouth instantly throbbing while little birds circled over my head. I blinked as my vision straightened and I looked up to find the three brothers being separated by ranch hands who’d seen the fight and come running. I rubbed my jaw and felt blood dripping from my split lip, but I wasn’t too bad off, from what I could tell. The hit had definitely knocked some of the panic out of me, though.

Isaac was the first one to notice that I was on the ground, bleeding. He swore and shook off the man holding him to come to my side. “Shit, Mal. You okay?”

Blake and Julian realized what’d happened next, and Blake’s face paled. “Oh, fuck, baby. I did that, didn’t I? I’m so fucking sorry. Oh, fuck.”

Julian stood still, his arms still being held by two men. He looked me over and then at his brothers kneeling on each side of me. There was pain clear in his eyes, but it hardened to anger as I watched. “Cute family.”

I pulled myself to my feet and winced when my entire face ached. “Julian, this is all my fault. They didn’t know. I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I didn’t mean to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want you to fight.”

“Too bad.” Julian shook himself free and turned away. “You know what? You three can do whatever the fuck you want, but I’m not doing this again. I’m not doing this shit.”

“And what if I want you? What if I want you here with us?” My voice broke, and I took a deep breath. “I was wrong not to tell you about Hank. He deserves you in his life.”

Julian stopped, but he didn’t turn to look back at me. “You don’t even know me. Just tell him Blake or Isaac is his dad and he’ll never have to know.”

“Goddammit, Julian, I want you here!” I walked after him, my heart pounding. I realized I was pouring out my stupid heart in front of a bunch of random men, but I was desperate. “I’ve thought of you almost every day since that first time. I wondered what things could’ve been like if they were different. I should’ve found you and told you, but I was just so fucking scared.”

Spinning around and glaring at me, Julian pointed at me and then dropped his hand. “Just stop it. You made the decision to keep me out of your life and Hank’s life every day since he was born. If you think you need me to have my brothers, you don’t. They don’t have a ton of loyalty to the fuck-up brother.”

“Just listen to me!”

“Fuck that. I’m done here.” He looked me over and shook his head. “I’m going back to my cabin. I don’t need any of this bullshit.”

I watched as he stomped off to his motorcycle and roared away on it. I stood there, feeling like I’d ruined everything. My face hurt, and I’d just put the final nail in the coffin that was the Steele brothers’ relationship. I didn’t even want to face them.

“Can someone give me a ride home?” I kept my eyes on the ground and wrapped my arms around myself.

“Come inside and talk to us, Mal. Let me put some ice on your…face. Jesus.” Isaac appeared in front of me and frowned when he looked at me. “We definitely need to get some ice on that.”

“I want to go home. I think I need Kara.”

Blake’s face was grim as he stood in front of me and looked me over. “I’ll take you. I deserve whatever murder attempt she’ll have for me.”

“Mal, you didn’t do this. This was a long time coming.” Isaac sighed and gently kissed my forehead. “This isn’t over.”