Blake’s POV
I had gone upstairs after I was able to gather some strength, to look at the note she left me. It wasn’t just a note. But a note, and DNA test with results. Apparently, she had sent one of my water bottles, a hair from my brush, her brush, and Kevin’s brush too. I cannot get over what has happened today. Graham has been in the cells for over 2 hours, and he was still knocked out. I was both happy and sad that he was still unconscious. I was glad that Marc had really punched him hard, but I wanted to get my hands on him myself. I wanted him awake and aware that his life was now in my hands, and that I wanted him dead for what he did to me and my family.
I have been staring at one of the pictures of our family, back when we were happy. It was really the last one taken of us all together. After this one, no more family pictures had been made. It was either because I refused to let Kevin in the shot with the rest of us, or Cheryl refused to participate without him in the picture. Back before Graham decided to completely fuck my family up for no reason, we were so happy. The proof of Kevin being mine was right here in front of me and was a complete punch to the gut. Forest and Kevin looked exactly the same, with my face, my square jaw, and even down to the shape of my ears. It was just the fact that Forest had my coloring so he looked more like me, and Kevin had Cheryl’s coloring. Graham was right to pick on Kevin. I would have balked if he had gone after one of my babies. Cheryl was right, she never left here one time in her first 5 years here, because she was terrified of being caught and imprisoned. There was no way any of my children were not mine. The pain in my heart increased as I realized that I am the reason for all of my pain. Everything that our family has been put through was because of me.
I rubbed my face with both hands, and I have been doing that a lot for the last few hours, I am under a lot of stress right now. I have been waiting on a call from the council, but thankfully that has not happened, yet. Silas and Billie had come to speak to the children earlier, and that had not gone very well at all. Silas started it out by calling his own daughter a murderer and blaming her for everything. Billie was still in shock and was not really speaking. None of the children acted like they even cared that their mom had left us. But they were all angry about her killing three pack members without cause, at least that was what the whole pack was talking about. The pack member were all talking about it, they all thought she did it for no reason because she was angry and jealous of Kara. In fact, Forest even went straight on the attack and said, “I don’t care about her anyway, she can stay gone. She cheated on dad and caused this whole thing. How could she kill innocent pack members like that? She will not be getting away with it. I hope the council catches her and puts her to death. I have been disappointed in her for years. I won’t miss her or Kevin.”
I am stunned at how mad he was at her. I am sick that he is just repeating some of what he has heard me say over the last few years. Goddess, I messed up so badly. I see Casey and Robert open their mouths to chime in with him and I have to hold my hand out to stop them. I cannot hear anyone else condemning Cheryl right now. With each hateful and angry word, it hits me more and more what all I have put her through. There was nowhere in this pack other than this bedroom where she could be free of the ugliness that I allowed to follow her wherever she went. With each step she took, she was ridiculed and scorned for something that she never did. Graham was absolutely brilliant in playing on my fear’s so much that I just accepted it all as truth. I have to straighten this out, and I guess that I will be starting with my own family.
“Don't speak about your mother like that. I was wrong. I was lied to and deceived by Graham Sullivan. Everything that I did was because of him. He lied about Kevin & he lied about your mom, too. She never cheated on me. Kevin is your brother. I allowed my possessiveness and jealousy to blind me to what I was doing to your mom, and to Kevin. I was wrong, and I caused this. I have proof that she was innocent, and I will clear this up tomorrow at a town hall meeting that I am going to hold for us after our dinner. I just cannot do it today, my heart is hurting at the loss of my mate and pup. I want your mom back, no, I need your mom to come back. Do not ever let me hear you repeating any of the crap that I have been saying these last years. I was wrong, and I will admit just how wrong I was. I have locked Graham up right now. I will be interrogating him either tonight, or tomorrow, but Kevin is your brother, he IS my son. I was wrong, and that is all you need to know right now. I will pray to the Goddess every night to bring them back to me” I told them, and their stunned expressions did not help me feel any better about this. Even Silas and Billie were shocked at my words. They had believed it too, her own parents condemned her, just like the rest of the pack did.
I poisoned my family, my ranked wolves, and my entire pack against a she-wolf that had truly loved and cared for. I never had any proof at all of her deceit. Yet I made sure to tell anyone who would listen, that she has betrayed me in the worst way. Cheryl didn’t do anything wrong, but I condemned her as if she had. I cannot wait for Graham to wake up. As soon as he does, I will be there for a visit. My children at least had the grace to look upset over how they treated Kevin. Especially the two youngest. I didn’t want to kick Casey while she was down, but she had an opportunity to hug her mom goodbye and she lost it. I remember the pain showing on Cheryl’s face when Casey actually greeted Kara first, and then chose not to hug her mom, as shopping was the most important thing on her mind. One of these days Casey is going to feel really bad about it. It just shows the pack mentality when one member is ganged up and picked on. Everyone always takes sides with the stronger one. Because they don’t want to be the one who stands alone or gets bullied themselves. I had seen the black eye on Forest and at first, he didn’t want to admit to what had happened, but he finally did. He had been ashamed that he was bested by his younger brother. He hadn't realized that Kevin just put in more work than he did. Forest just kind of went through the motions, and never applied himself, because he was the heir. Kevin worked out harder than Forest did, not for the position, but for my approval. Forest knew he had my approval, so he didn't care to work hard for it. I am ashamed that I have failed my whole family, and changes are going to be made here and soon. No more getting expensive shopping trips, from now on they will have to work to earn money. I am ruining my children just like Graham ended up ruining Reagan.
The truth was I was incredibly impressed with Kevin, especially with how well he did in fights. I knew he worked hard to impress me, so I deliberately withheld my support and approval from him. Everyone here at Black Moon knew that was what he wanted most from me. So no one here crossed me by telling him what a good job he did with his training. He should have already known it in his heart though. He was well above the level he should be at, and if I am honest he was well above the level his own brother Forest was currently. Kevin was a force to be reckoned with out there on the training field. At the time, it had made me really angry that Brandon’s son was so much better at fighting than my own. My anger over it stemmed from when I went to the training at Black Adder and both Brandon, and the Delta there, Justin, had beaten me so easily when I sparred with them. It had been a hard pill to swallow that they made it look so easy to beat me when I am the best fighter in my pack. That let me know right then that we were no match against their pack at all. Now that I know for a fact that they are both my sons, the hard work that Kevin has always put into his training makes me even more proud of him. He will be such a strong warrior.
No one could find Cheryl and Kevin anywhere in the city, and I sent two new crews up to check the parking lots at the hotels tonight and brought the other ones back home. I am pretty sure that they went further than the city already. Cheryl was desperate to get Kevin away from here, and I knew why now. I cannot believe Graham. This reminds me that I will have to ask Reagan if she had known her dad had made up this plan. Because if she did, there will be punishment given out for that too. I sit at the end of the bed and hold my head in my hands. What have I done? I ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I just let him lead me by the nose in doing it. I bet that son of a bitch laughed about it too.
When did I downgrade his threat level from someone who needed to be watched, to someone I would even consider listening to? There was a reason that they were on the run. It was all because of Graham and Reagan who were the problem children in their group. I knew better than to trust either of them, so how in the hell did we get here? I know why. Because he didn’t retaliate immediately after the Reagan issue, he just dropped it and moved forward. At least I thought he did. He would drop little comments here and there. Things that thinking back on them now, should have been red flags to me. But he worked on my jealousy first. His “accidentally” telling me “Of course she loves you, you look exactly like her first love” or “Wow, your sons look just like Brandon” took root in my brain. Pretty soon I started believing it myself, for no reason. She was terrified to leave here for several years. I mean the few times I took her to celebrate our anniversaries, we had warriors out with us, in a second vehicle behind us. All because she was scared to death that the second she left the safety of our pack, the council would pull up and take her. If only I had calmed down and thought about it. I would have seen the error for myself.
But I was in pain. I was terribly hurt by what I thought she had done to me. There was nothing more important than Cheryl and my children to me. But I didn’t show her that, I took every moment to hurt her back, because of the pain I was living with. She was right I was completely irrational, and she pointed it out every time I went too far with her. I hadn’t known in my heart that I went too far, far too often. I remember the clear threat she gave me, at the end of her letter. One that is now burned into my brain. Something that I dread so much is going to be coming to me one day, and the worst part about it is the fact that it is something that I richly deserved. I remember exactly what she had said to me in her letter Seared into my brain so I could close my eyes and see it. The end of it was what let me know that I was completely done as far as she was concerned.
“Blake, I have told you repeatedly that one day you were going to realize that it was all a lie. That Kevin was your blood, and I had never betrayed you. That the pain that you have never had the displeasure to experience will one day be given back to you. I didn’t have the time, or the strength to reject you before I left. I would have died in even attempting it. With all the pain I have dealt with in the last 6 months, I am surprised that I am still even alive. But one day, when I meet another man, one who loves me enough to actually listen to me, maybe you will get a taste of what I have been dealing with. I wish you had believed me, especially in important matters where something could have easily been proven if you had even cared enough to check on it yourself. You could have spared Kevin and me, so much anguish. I hope you hate every moment of taking the pain when it finally happens, I know I did. I hope you feel the same anger, frustration, and most importantly the deep and lasting sadness I felt when the man I loved so much slept with another. That you did it intentionally to me. just to be spiteful at some perceived slight. I hope that you realize what you did to me, sometimes twice a day was so much more than pain to me. So much more than just physically hurting me. You wanted to break me, that was your goal. I will tell you now that I am free that you did. You and Graham were successful in your efforts to break me, and I will never be the same again. You won. I concede to you now. I will never love another as I have loved you, but I refuse to come back to someone who said he loved me, and then spent years proving to me that it was all a lie. Goodbye, Blake. If the Goddess is kind, I will never see you and your spiteful self again. With no more love to give, Cheryl” was what she had written.
Cheryl’s words to me broke me too. I am crying just thinking about the level of pain she had felt, and still, she stayed and tried to fix it. Each step of the way she still tried to see the good in me, to slow graham down. All because she loved me, and wanted me. She still loved me despite what I had done. Right up until I cheated on her. I felt terrible about it, and I came back to beg her forgiveness and show her that I still loved her by making love to her. I also had a piece of my heart break that night. I never wanted Kara, I just did it to force Cheryl to realize that if she didn't fall in line again, I would think about replacing her. I was never going to do it, but Graham said that I have to take control and show her that I was serious about this. I know now that He pushed me there to break the remained of our relationship apart. Like a bomb has been set off, and her anger at what I had done, was just an explosive. I tied to touch her, to hold her, and she refused to let me. She thought I was dirty now, but I used protection. I tried to explain, and I tried to force her to agree to be with me, but she was willing to die that night to prevent it. We were both hurt, and bloody and I knew that I had pushed her too far. I had always hoped that she would calm down and forgive me, and the worst part was that she did calm down. Then let me know in no uncertain terms that she would never sleep with me again. Instead of stopping what I was doing, and showing her that I could change. I did what Graham said, and doubled down on my mistake, over and over again. Goddess, I am an idiot, and I don't know how to fix it.
The pain that she felt, the helplessness that she had here in her own home, in her own pack. She was trapped here to continue to suffer at my hand, basically a prisoner in her own home. I knew that she was mad enough to run away from me, but I knew that she would never leave Kevin. So I made sure that anytime they left, they had several warriors with them. I gradually pulled back on the warriors that I had on their security detail. They were there to protect them, but they were more there to actually prevent either of them from being able to leave Black Moon. I let Graham do more and more to try to get Cheryl back. Back to where we were before I fucked everything up. No wonder I couldn’t do it. I was listening to the very man who wanted to destroy us both. How Graham thought that he could get away with it, I will never know. The sudden realization comes to me that he had probably planned for that too. He wanted her to die, that is what he was pushing her to do. I already know that if she had died, because of what I had done to her. I would have gone insane. They would have had to kill me to stop the rampage that I would have been on tearing through this pack. Graham would have them just put someone in my place and he would have used them as a vessel to be able to run the pack himself. How could I not have seen it before?
He would have bossed Garrett around, as Garrett would have gotten the job of interim Alpha. All while Graham ran the pack behind Garrett's back. Graham would have kept working on Forest and kept planting seeds into Forest’s head. Just like he did to me. Graham would have had full control of my pack. He would never have let go, and Forest would have been too young, and inexperienced to have stopped him. The level of deception that Graham was working at, amazes me. I see now that he had been on his very best behavior here at Black Moon, at first. He needed to learn all the ins and outs, how I ran things, who I trusted, and how they were too before he could make a move. That took a while for him to learn. None of us trusted him at all, especially for the first 5 years. He got very little information garnered from any of us during those first 5 years. He as patient, and cunning, and I never saw it coming. He played on my very worst fears, losing Cheryl, to do that very thing.
I doubt he even factored in or thought of a possibility like this one. One where she would strike back as hard as she did to him. To hurt him almost as badly as he had hurt her, and our son. I saw how shocked he was over it. He honestly thought that she would just give up, and bow down under the pressure of it. I honestly think that he wanted her to die from the stress and pain of it. He failed to factor in how strong she actually was. How much she loves those pups of ours. She never wanted to give up on me, until I forced her to by crossing over her bottom line and dismissing her core values.
My selfish acts as the person who was most important to her. Showed her time after time what I thought of her and made her feel insignificant, and unimportant to me by putting my other women first. At that point, she was only protecting Kevin. It was why she had him next to her at all our meals. Because she could not trust him to be safe anywhere else. The fact that I had put Kara, and those other girls across from her, was the biggest slap in her face. One that I did with my whole pack watching it play out. How I took her spot as Luna, sitting at my right hand, and gave it to another woman. It didn’t matter that I was wanting to hurt her back for picking Kevin, and Brandon over me. Graham, of course, had mentioned that. He sat where he could watch the pain that she went through at being dismissed, and disrespected each and every night. I know he enjoyed seeing it. It makes me sick to think of what all I did to her, and when the time comes and I feel her betraying me, I hope I have as much strength to be able to endure it. I have a very bad feeling that it will be much worse than I ever dreamed it would be.
“Alpha?” I get a mind link from Garrett. They have been leaving me alone for the last few hours as they all know now that I am shattered. They all are stunned at how the day has gone. The things that we thought we knew, were all wrong. The fact that he and Marc played such an instrumental role in getting me to where I am now, has not escaped me. They know punishment is coming, but I have to deal with other things first. Like clearing my mate's name, and dealing with Graham. I know what he is going to do, and I have a little something up my sleeve for him,
“Did you need something, Garrett?” I am not happy with hearing from him.
“You wanted to know when Graham was awake. I was letting you know he is” Garrett replied. He is right. I did need to speak to Graham, and I am happy that he is awake now.
“I am on my way. Thank you Garrett” I told him, and broke the link. A smile is finally on my face. I finally have a little good news and something to look forward to as well. I am looking forward to letting him know that until my mate comes back he will be wishing that he had never set his sights on hurting either one of us. He thinks that he has the upper hand like he always had. I want him to know that from today forward, he no longer has anything at all left to look forward to, for the rest of his sorry life.
Setting a Trap for Graham