Chapter 4
I stilled!
Alan stared at me waiting for a response and I opened my mouth to give him one but no words came out.
I got up from the bed and walked towards the window. I gazed out into the horizon and watched as the setting sun created a beautiful orange hue around the environment.
I did not know what to tell Alan. I had dumped enough of my trauma to add another one.
"Jem?" he called out gently but I did not face him. I kept my back to him and tried to suppress the images of Jay from coming to the forefront of my mind. I wanted to forget, I wanted to move on.
“Jem?” Alan called again but I still gave no response, still wrapped up in my own thoughts. Jay will forever be my biggest nemesis. I did not care if he was the revered Mafia boss, I was going to end him.
“Jem!” Alan called more fiercely this time. He was already behind me and he turned me to face him but I didn’t meet his gaze. He used his fore finger to divert my gaze back to his face.
“I am sorry if I struck a nerve. I just thought if maybe you could talk about it, it would help you move on.” He stated simply and brushed a stray strand of hair from my face. I huffed and folded my hands beneath my chest. I walked away from him, having him close was not helping me think properly.
“Look…”
“Jesus! Let it go already Alan!” I exclaimed in exasperation, cutting him short. I was tired of him trying to get into my head everytime.
"Once the mission is done, you can come back and take your revenge, just please do this for us." Alan commented so softly, I barely heard him. I met his gaze and saw a shimmer of tear in his eyes. Tears in Alan’s eyes too? I was flabbergasted to say the least. To what extent was the damage caused by Dennis freaking Saunders? I pondered to myself.
Today felt so surreal.
I walked up to Alan and he gave me a small smile. I desperately wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in for a hug.
"I love you Alan!" I whispered in his ears and tried to control my shallow breathing. I needed him to know that, I may not show emotions but it didn’t mean I did not care about him.
"I love you more Jem, more than you can ever know and never you doubt that for a second," he whispered back and stroked my hair affectionately. I want to stay in this moment forever. I wanted it to be ingrained in my memory.
“I am hungry.” I muttered as my stomach growled and we both laughed and pulled away from the hug.
"Do you want some pizza...oh sorry, I forgot you don't like pizza ever since He left you" Alan said and gave me a focused gaze. He didn’t blink and for a moment I got scared that he was going to see through my soul.
“I would just have some cereal.” I muttered and walked out of the room with him following suit. We passed Jon on the patio on our way to the kitchen, who was just gazing into the night’s sky and I rolled my eyes. I was still pretty upset that he mandated me to go on this mission without giving me enough prior notice.
I made cereal for both of us and we ate it, while telling jokes and reminiscing on our childhood.
“Would you like to watch a movie?” Alan asked once we were done but I shook my head negatively. I needed to sleep and prepare for tomorrow’s journey.
"I would just like to sleep right now" I managed to say with a yawn.
"Okay then," he said and we both walked back to his room silently, each of us engrossed in our own thought.
“Good night” he muttered and switched off the light before laying down beside me.
He pecked me on the cheek and i closed my eyes.
This had been myself and Alan's tradition ever since I started going on missions. It was our own little way of saying good bye.
I remember vividly the first night I came here. I had been so scared that Jon was going to change his mind and kill me. I was frightened beyond comprehension and I wanted to run away.
I hid under the bed because I couldn't sleep but Alan had come to my room to talk to me and see if there was anything I needed. He was sixteen at the time and was already showing signs of responsibility. I had been frightened he was going to take advantage of me but he didn't. He treated me with kindness and calmed me down. He promised me he was always going to be there for me no matter the situation. He never failed that promise.
“What if I die in this mission Alan? Would you forget me?”
“Do not even think about it. You will not die during this mission and you will return home, safe and sound.” Alan assured and pulled me in beneath the covers. I was not convinced.
“But…”
"Oh Jem, I have told you, I am telling you and I'll always tell you that..."
"As long as you are alive, you will always be there for me, come what may" I concluded for him with a giggle.
"That is it silly girl"
"Am I a silly girl?"
"No you are not", he mused and we both chuckle lightly. I exhaled in satisfaction and looked up at Alan who had his eyes closed.
This had always been his own way of making me happy and for the record, it always worked. It never got old. And I never got tired of hearing him say that over and over again!
I had always loved the fact that Alan reassured me every chance he got. He always made me feel seen and heard, he always made me feel like I had a voice.
"Good night Miss Valerian!" He whispered sleepily and I just smiled.
"Good night Mr Ross!" I whispered back after a moment.
But so far, nothing seemed good about the night because in a few hours, l would have to leave for Rome!
I slowly released myself from his grip and got up gingerly, hoping I didn’t wake him up. I walked to the kitchen to grab myself a drink. I needed something strong to still my mind from racing with so much thought.
I walked to the patio and joined Jon in the chair.
“Alan is asleep?” Jon asked, not bothering to spare me a glance and I just nodded in return.
“Jemima, this rivalry between you and Jay is not gonna end well. You two need to put your differences aside and create the magic you guys created in London. I do not know what happened between you two but surely three years is enough time for you both to stop being childish and quell your discrepancies.” Jon stated with an air of authority and took his leave, leaving me to swim in my thought alone.
Everything he said made sense but being the most feared assassin, I was not going to just be friends with Jay! Jay Black humiliated me and he deserved to die!
It'd have been better if I had just lodged in a hotel. Jon was very wealthy so money wasn’t the problem. He probably even had properties and houses in Rome but he insisted I stayed with Jay. Either Jay put him up to this or something was not right. Either way, I was not going to be humiliated again.
I took a sip of the drink and swooshed it around my mouth.
“Jay fucking Black!” I mused aloud to no one in particular. I stared into space and closed my eyes as I welcomed the warm breeze that blew around me.
Who does he think he is? I want to be the one and only feared Mafia leader in the business even though I am not in the Mafia. Although I grew up in the Mafia ring, Jon trained me to be an assassin. I could remember when he sent me on my first mission at the age of sixteen when I had been used as a bait for the president of Italy.
I had been so scared but thanks to Jon's presence all the way, I was presented as a lost child and government property which had gotten necessary into the president's suite while Alan hacked into their camera and I slipped poison into the president's tea.
I remembered causing havoc as I was reported missing from the conference room. Then, Jon sneaked into the commotion and carried me away into the waiting helicopter where I left my signature mark and became so popular and feared. Unfortunately, I'll have no human ruin my reputation. Especially not the damned Jay Black!
And I will do whatever it costs to make sure I leave Rome with Jay's head on a platter. I will make sure I come back home being not just the most feared assassin in the business, but also the only one. Only one. only one i mean!
Then I will pay a visit to old nemesis