“Why, she's a liar to the end! Where is she? Not there—not in heaven—not perished—where? Oh! You said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer—I repeat it till my tongue stiffens—Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you—haunt me, then!” — Heathcliff Earnshaw.
Desolation was like a slap to my face; nevertheless to mention, the pub night ended in disaster. Jeremy refused to even glance at me once throughout the hours during our stay at his farmhouse after which we left at midday, let alone speak. Roulette had been off and about the outskirts of the town, fucking people, I presume with him not trying to converse with me either.
Wesley had rode to the city just as he came in, alone in his car while Roulette changed the arrangements at the last second, making me sit in the passenger's seat in Cole's car, while he enjoyed a secluded drive back to his mansion. In a nutshell, I was feeling like shit, beautifully wrapped in a box with a pink bow tie on top of it. Adrian didn't know what exactly had put the famous trio in such precarious positions where they didn’t even make an effort to talk, but it was obvious that they sensed something had gone in the wrong direction. Cole, on the other hand, knew the whole story because of me telling him everything.
Also, Jeremy and Alexander weren’t talking to eachother, which I found rather odd because according to the speech he had thrown to my face earlier that night, it was clear that Roulette had accused me of not having a heart, which the latter found to be true. So, in that case, they must be getting along again, considering the fact that Roulette had proved he wanted the best for his friend. But what exactly drove them to the point of throwing cold shoulders at eachother, was unbeknownst to me.
So, presently, I was back at my condo with Niall, slouching over the couch, sipping beer from a huge glass after I successfully separated the layer of foam over the drink which tended to stick on my upper lip. I had Shakespeare tomorrow, and I was procrastinating. Plus, I didn’t know how to feel about that mess I created either. The guilt of not being able to tell Wesley what was going on, had sunk in way deeper than it should've, coming crashing down on me like hoards of pins, deflating my heart.
“You seem to be very quiet today.” I observed, slightly glancing at my best friend to whom I had recited the whole occurrence, before choosing to drink loads of alcohol as remedy. There was something up with him; and I didn’t even know how to get that out of him. I couldn’t make my mind drift off Alexander; it pained me greatly to think he believed that I had no heart. Who was I even kidding? I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown because of this drama. Wesley was good in bed, but there was something about the swimming captain, that had me in chains. Something intoxicating, something intense.
“What? No. I'm just tired.” Raising my eyebrows, I looked over at my shoulder to see him massaging the bridge of his nose. Yes, something was definitely off. He was pissing me off by keeping things from me, but I couldn’t even force him to give in. He was an adult after all. I remembered how elusive and vague he seemed to be, about the Alexander topic when I first had an encounter with him. I had seen him on and about the hallways in college till that day, but all of them included shamelessly staring at me, or mostly glaring whenever we crossed paths. I couldn’t seem to get enough of him. The proximity of the fact that he did really hate me and wanted me no more because he said ‘I got what I wanted from you anyways’ or even worse that he never wanted me at all but had sex so that he could separate me from Jeremy, was going down in a tapestry of pain that was unknown to me. My stomach churned, and I wanted to throw up. I knew I wasn’t in love with Roulette. Yet, that is. I tried to convince myself that our connection was all about sex—but the dull throb in my chest said some other story. I wanted to see him again, perhaps just one glance to dim down the ache of his absence that was hollowing me from inside. I had it bad.
“Niall, what’s wrong?” I could barely contain the disappointment in my voice because I was not used to him keeping things from me, but the way it looked right now, it seemed to me that he was. And that surely wasn’t something good. I watched him shake his head before he flashed me a wry smile, standing up from the couch. He made his way to the microwave with hesitating, uneasy steps as he put on the oven gloves, taking out the much warmed pizza before a minute of the set time.
“Nothing is wrong.” Bullshit. He was bluffing me, and I wasn’t going to take it. But the inviting smell of the stale pizza which he placed on the table before me, and the alcohol flooding in my veins, forbade me from pressing the matter further. “I’ll just take a piss. Don't start eating.” There was a forced smile from his side, his tensed eyes wavering from my face to the bathroom when I nodded. With a few big strides, he stepped inside the washroom, locking the door from inside.
Point Infinity : He never locked the washroom door when he went in. Never ever. I sighed, putting my beer glass down when I heard Niall's abandoned phone beep on the wooden table. Reaching for the phone, I unlocked it with the password which he and I both shared on our phones, so that if one forgot it, the other would certainly remember. A messages sent just now hovered on the screen, and before I even knew it, I had the text opened before me.
The bizarre, haunting words stared back at me, making me blanch. My blood ran cold, and sweat broke out on my shaking hands. Alexander : “Look, I've cleared the air between us. Jeremy was with Tobias, and he cheated on him with me. That was a part of the plan, of course, Renault. I wanted him out of Jer's life, because I knew he was no good. Now, will you kindly give me a chance with you or are you going to wait for your chance to get in a relationship with Harris as you wanted so dearly? He has no regard for anyone’s feelings, as you and I both know. He isn't boyfriend material. Stop waiting for him. You promised me to give our thing a shot if I proved to you that Harris cares about nobody. I did prove you so, and I want you to abide by your word.” All thought left me, as I processed the meaning behind this. Time stilled, while all blood drained from my face. Within seconds, there was another message.
Alexander : “I’ve been chasing you for a month now, Niall. And I know you want me just as much as I want you. So, rule Tobias out, and come to me ;) ”