Chapter 89 Chapter Eighty-Nine
"Will you stop seeing them? At least for a little while. I don't want you doing things like that with them and I think I would feel better if you weren't hanging out with them. For right now anyway."
I nod my head. He doesn't want me to see them anymore. That's better than anything I could have imagined him wanting to ask and it is fair. I broke his trust, I broke all of their trust, doing what I did. Part of me wishes I could go back and change what I did.
"Yes I will." I whisper and I mean it. I know I shouldn't have done what I did and I don't want to risk losing Ryder or his brothers. Speaking of his brothers, I need to tell them what I did. It's only fair that I'm honest with all three of them right? I mean we are all in this relationship together. It is supposed to be built on honesty and trust.
"Thank you baby and thank you for telling me the truth." Ryder kisses the top of my head again and I smile. He shouldn't be thanking me for telling him the truth. I shouldn't have done what I did to begin with.
"I need to tell Reece and Raikin too. I will tell them tomorrow morning." I whisper.
Ryder tenses again. That can't be good. "No don't tell them baby." Ryder says.
"Don't tell them?" I ask confused. What does he mean don't tell them? We are all supposed to be honest with each other, I can't just tell Ryder and not tell his brothers. They are all equal to me; I love them all the same I can't pick and choose who I'm honest with.
"Just don't tell them baby. I don't want this relationship to end; we just got started. They won't take the news very well. Trust me baby, okay? It will just be better this way." Ryder says, pulling me closer against him.
"Okay. I won't tell them. If you are sure I shouldn't tell them about any of it." I whisper feeling unsure.
"I'm sure baby. Honestly if it was just me and you I wouldn't even care if you wanted to do stuff like that. Reece and Raikin are different though. They like the idea of a shared relationship but only between the three of us because we trust each other." Ryder whispers, holding me tight.
If they only like a shared relationship between the three of them, why are they okay with me kissing other people? "Should I stop doing everything with the other guys, you know when I start hanging out with them again. The kissing and everything?" I ask.
I feel Ryder shrug under me. "I don't know baby. That's up to you. If you can do that stuff without going any further then sure baby, but if you think it's going to make you want to do other things then you should probably stop. I just don't want this relationship to end because of something stupid like that baby."
He's leaving it up to me. I guess I need to figure out how much self control I have around my guy friends before I start doing stuff with them again. Once I am able to hang out with them, without causing any problems.
"I love you Ryder. Thank you for forgiving me." I whisper.
Ryder kisses the top of my head over and over again, hugging me tight against him. "I love you too baby. Just remember you can always tell me the truth about anything okay baby. Don't feel like you have to hide anything from me. Even if you think it will make me mad baby, just trust I will always love and forgive you."
I look up at him, kissing him once on the lips. "I trust you Ryder."
Ryder smiles and kisses me again. "I trust you too baby. Let's get some sleep."
I nod my head, snuggling back into his warmth. "Okay." I should be able to sleep now. Now that I have finally came clean with him. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.
\-Ryder's POV-
I should have known something happened between her and Logan that night. I mean I thought something happened I just didn't know what it was. If it was just me and her in this relationship I honestly wouldn't care what she did as long as there was no sex, like actual sexual intercourse. I don't really consider oral to be sex.
I know my brothers would feel differently about it though. Especially Raikin with all his damn relationship trust issues. They might not have said it out loud in official terms, but I know when they said no sex they meant sex of any kind. They were only okay with the kissing and stuff because I assured them she wouldn't go any further.
I hope she doesn't tell them about the things she did. I don't want this relationship to end so soon. I know this relationship can be perfect. It already is and I know it will just get better from here.
Lilly promised she wouldn't hang out with Logan and the other guys for a little while. I hope she keeps that promise. I know she feels as strongly about this relationship as I do.
She loves us, I can see that just in the way she looks at us. I can honestly see this relationship being a long term thing. Even as far as marriage, not that she can legally marry the three of us. We could have some kind of personal ceremony though, it doesn't have to be a legally binding thing. If this thing lasts that long that is.
At some point my mind finally settles down and I am able to get some sleep. I wake up when Lilly rubs up against me in her sleep, making my already hard dick throb. I groan and Lilly rolls over on her back away from me, opening her eyes slowly.