Chapter 64 Chapter Sixty-Four
Raikin kisses my cheek. "Yes I do and I love you baby. Don't worry tonight may have been our first time, but it won't be our last."
"Fine." I say pouting when Raikin pulls away from me. "I love you too."
Raikin laughs, grabbing his clothes off the floor. I watch as he gets dressed. I don't know if he is sexier with or without his clothes on.
Reece kisses me and grabs his clothes off the floor, followed by Ryder. Leaving me the only one standing here naked. "I think I'm going to go shower, before I go to bed." I say when they all get ready to leave my room. I grab a robe from my closet, tying it around my waist.
"Okay baby. Goodnight." Reece says and I smile at him.
"Goodnight Reece.'
"Good night baby." Raikin says.
"Goodnight Raikin."
"I love you. Goodnight baby." Ryder says.
"I love you too Ryder. Goodnight."
They all walk towards my door. Reece checks the hallway to make sure our parents aren't out there. I grab Ryder's hand before he walks out the door "Are you going to sleep in here tonight?"
Ryder frowns. "I want to baby. I just don't know if that is a very good idea. Dad is already acting all suspicious. We should probably keep some distance for a couple days to make sure he doesn't catch us."
I nod my head, forcing a smile. "Yeah. You're probably right. Goodnight." I say and I feel the sting of tears pricking my eyes. I look away from him, before I start crying.
I don't even know why I feel like crying. Maybe I am just emotional from everything we just did together. Maybe I am just used to him being here to hold me while I'm sleeping. Either way if I keep looking at him I will start crying.
"Hey baby. Don't be upset." Ryder says grabbing my shoulder, but I shrug him off.
I take a deep breath, forcing the tears away. "I'm not. I'm going to go shower." I say walking past him to the bathroom as fast as I can.
The first tear falls right as I close the bathroom door. I feel so stupid for crying, but I can't stop it. I take a long shower, letting the tears fall freely. Once the tears are done falling and the water turns cold I step out, drying off and heading back to my room.
My phone vibrates and I assume it's Ryder checking on me. I flop down on my stomach grabbing the phone from the night stand. I'm surprised when I unlock my phone. It's a message from Logan. Why is he texting at a quarter till midnight?
Logan: Hey baby. Can't sleep. If you are still up you want to come hang out?
I bite my lip. My fingers hovering over the keyboard. Should I do it?
I type 'yes' and then erase it just as fast. Type it again and erase it again. Over and over until I am driving myself crazy. Why is this so hard?
Throwing my hand over my eyes. I let out an irritated huff. If I wasn't with Ryder, Reece and Raikin I would have already been over there at Logan's house. Doing whatever it is he wants to do.
I lay there for another ten minutes internally arguing with myself. I'm going to go. Logan already knows I can't have sex with him, so I know he isn't calling me over for a booty call or something.
They said I could still be friends with Logan and my other guy friends. They never said I couldn't hang out with him a little past midnight. They just said no sex.
I'm going to go and have some fun. It's not like I will be able to sleep tonight anyway. I finally text Logan back.
Me: I will be over in a few minutes. (smiley face)
His response is immediate.
Logan: Can't wait! (kissey face)
I get up walking over to my closet. Flipping through my things I realize how badly I need to go buy some cute stuff. Before moving here I never worried about dressing cute because I didn't have anyone to dress cute for. Now I have eight guys that I need to look cute for.
I also realize just how badly I need to do a load of laundry. I have been so busy with everything that's going on with well everyone around here I have neglected my laundry.
Looks like sweat pants or blue jean mini skirt is the options for tonight. I pull out the mini skirt and a black low cut long sleeve shirt. I pull on a pair of knee high black boots and spin around in the mirror. Grabbing Logan's hoody off my desk chair I turn off my bedroom light and open the door, looking around.
I don't see any of my stepbrothers or my parents so I guess the coast is clear. I tiptoe towards the stairs, going as quickly and quietly as I can. I know I should let them know where I'm going, at least Ryder anyway. I know he is the least likely to be mad, but I don't.
They hurt me, not on purpose I know that but I still felt alone. After what we did together, I wanted them to hold me and make me feel wanted, not used.
I will tell them tomorrow, or today, or whatever the hell just later. Sneaking down stairs I run towards the front door. Opening it as quietly as I can.
Throwing Logan's hoody on real quick I sneak across the yard to Logan's house, and I suddenly feel a little twinge of guilt. The truth is I know they will be mad when they find out I came over here. The worst part is I don't care.
Logan meets me outside his door. "Hey baby." Logan says smiling at me. "I missed you!"
I laugh. "You just saw me earlier."
"That was yesterday baby. That's like an eternity." Logan says pulling me in for a hug.
I roll my eyes but smile. "You are crazy."