Chapter 21

**Megan**

Ella is the first thing I feel when I wake up. She’s soft and warm and amazing to hug. The second is an excruciating headache. I wince a little and open my eyes to see her beautiful blue eyes shining back at me. She smiles widely. “Morning, mommy,” she says.

“Morning, baby,” I say to her, and my throat feels like sandpaper.

“Can we get up now?” she asks.

“Ten more minutes, I want to snuggle with my favourite person in the world,” I tell her as I pull her towards me. She giggles and wraps her arms around my neck tightly. I look over her shoulder at the clock to see it’s just before 9. It’s then I realise I’m in a different room from what Logan left me in.

“Mommy,” Ella says sweetly.

“Yes, Elle-belle,” I say with my eyes closed and enjoying my hugs from her.

“Why are you in Logan’s bed?” she asks me. I frown and look around the room. Sure enough, this looks like it would be his room: the dark wood flooring, dark grey walls with a muted blue. The bedsheets are even grey. I look towards the large floor to ceiling windows to see a grey voile that mutes the sun’s brightness. There’s a chair in the corner that I can vaguely remember him sitting in. I sit up and look around the room. This bed is massive.

“I’m not sure why,” I tell her truthfully. I frown and look away from her. Why am I in his bed? Then the bedroom door opens just as the bathroom door opens. Courtney stands at the bedroom opening, and Logan walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and one drying his hair.

“You’re up,” Logan exclaims.

“Holy mother of god,” Courtney says as she catches sight of Logan. But, in all honesty, I can’t take my eyes from his body either. I mean, he was fit before, but right now, I want to be the droplet of water running down his chest.

“Why’s mommy in your bed?” Ella asks, making me tear my eyes from the water droplet making its way to the towel.

“She had a nightmare, and we were talking, she fell asleep, and instead of disturbing your aunts, I brought her to sleep in my bed,” Logan tells her. I frown at that. I remember having a nightmare. I don’t remember talking to him.

“Did you get rid of the monsters?” Ella asks, and then she looks at me. “He’s very good at that, mommy,” she says with a nod as if it’s a fact. I chuckle a little.

“Yes, Ella,” he says as he walks toward a door next to the bathroom. He opens it, and I see it’s a walk-in wardrobe. I raise an eyebrow and tilt to look a little more. Courtney walks more into the room and nudges me. I look away from an underdressed Logan to her. She smirks and shakes her head as she picks Ella up.

“C’mon, breakfast is out,” she says to her as she holds her.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” I tell Ella and watch them both walk out of Logan’s room. I sigh and lay back. We hadn’t slept with each other because I’m fully dressed, and well, I’d feel the after-effects. Is he telling the truth? Is it really that innocent? There’s one thing I can be sure of; I have a monster hangover. I yawn and place my hand on my head as I close my eyes.

The bed dips down as Logan sits on it. He’s now wearing a pair of charcoal grey cargo shorts and a white t-shirt. It should be against the law for men this hot to wear t-shirts. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I have a hangover,” I tell him.

“Expected when you down a bottle of twenty-five thousand dollar whiskey,”

“Twenty-five thousand?” I ask, shocked. He chuckles at me. “You’re kidding. Who has whiskey that expensive just sitting about? I’m sorry,”

“It’s ok. I have more bottles,”

“Oh, I’m not sure if you're bragging or trying to make me feel better,” I say, a slight smirk forms on his lips.

“Both,” he says and gets up from the bed.

“What happened last night?” I ask.

“What I said happened,” he then turns to me. “You can get a shower if you want. I’ll get Ella ready.”

“Thanks,” I say quietly. He just smiles and walks out of the room.

This has got to be the fanciest shower I’ve ever been in. It’s strange to know that Logan has all of this money. He never really flashed the cash; I don’t think he does now. Logan would much rather be sat in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt than in a designer suit. He looks more himself when he’s in casual clothes.

I tilt my head away from the spray of the shower and close my eyes as the water rinses away suds on my body. Turning around, I let the hot water beat onto my shoulders and back, and it’s then I get a flashback of last night. I’d kissed Logan. I frown and move my fingers to my lips. Did I? Or was that a dream? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve dreamt about him. Sighing, I shake my head and turn the shower off. It’s then I see the bruising around my wrists.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrap one of the many fluffy white towels around my body. Maybe I need to get laid, although it’s not been that long since I last had sex. Granted, it wasn’t great, and I wasn’t satisfied. I still shouldn’t be picturing myself kissing Logan right now. Courtney has been telling me I should go on dates to add a bit of excitement into my life, but I don’t need to. I’m enjoying not having a man in my life sexually. When I told Courtney that, she said, ‘so get a free meal instead then,’

Standing in Logan’s bedroom, I see my suitcase at the foot of his bed, and the bed is now freshly made. I’m going to guess Logan came in while I was in the shower. I sit on his bed and look around the room.

The room is his personality all over with dark walls with concealed lighting, the dark wood floor with a muted navy rug. I’m going to guess fake fur; he disagrees with skinning animals. I look at his bedside table to see a framed picture of him and Ella on the side. I smile a little and pick it up. It looks like it’s from when he took her to the park that time with Courtney. Placing the picture back down, I notice a dark red tie on the floor. I pick it up and smooth the silk fabric through my fingers, and then a flashback of last night hits.

I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact I came onto him or the fact he rejected me. I’m embarrassed at what I’ve done; he must think I’m whore. I basically begged him to screw me. Why did he lie to me? How embarrassing.

With the memory fresh in my mind, I quickly get myself dressed in a white tiered slip dress. I decided to put my white bikini underneath it because I don’t have any underwear.

Once dressed, I do a quick once over of myself in the mirror. I glance at the electric guitar next to the chair he’d sat in last night to stop me from violating him. My cheeks burn with the memory of it, and I look away from the chair. I am honestly the stupidest woman alive. I’m sending him mixed signals. I hope to god all I did last night was that. I can’t remember much, and it is a bit fuzzy, but I remember my horny ass trying it on with him. Him saying no then tying me to his bed.

Finally, I make my way downstairs. I was tempted to stay upstairs and never show my face to him again. But I can’t do that. I have to be a damn adult about this. Walking into the kitchen, I notice the only free seat is between Ella and Yasmin. Ella turns as she hears me walk towards them. “Morning, mommy,” she says happily. I smile at her and sit down. “Are you feeling better? Auntie Corny said you wouldn’t be feeling too good,” she asks.

“Much better now that I see you,” I tell her and kiss the top of her head as I hug her. I’ve never been drunk in front of Ella, and I intend to keep it that way. I don’t ever want her to see me drunk like last night; that would mortify me. “What did you have for breakfast?” I ask.

“Banana and daddy made pancakes,” everyone, including Logan, stop eating and look at Ella. That is the first time she’s ever called him dad or daddy. I look at Logan to see the complete shock on his face. It looks like he doesn’t know what to do.

“What? Did you just call me daddy?” he asks. I sigh. We should have probably spoken about the first time she calls him it. But, unfortunately, I’d forgotten to tell him the reasons why she hadn’t. It slipped my mind.

“I’m sorry,” Ella says and then moves to climb onto me and hug me. “Mommy said it was ok to call you that,” she says with tears brimming in her eyes. “I won’t do it again, don’t be mad,” she cries. My heart sinks. She thinks he’s angry with her when he’s far from it. Logan blinks, and I watch him wet his lips a few times before speaking and moving into the chair she’d just vacated.

“What? No, Ella. I’m not angry. I’m far from angry, sweetie. You can call me whatever you want. I’ve wanted you to call me that since the day I met you. I just didn’t expect you to call me it, that’s all. I was thrown off guard. You surprised me,” he says as he strokes up and down her back. “Don’t be upset; you have done nothing wrong,” he tells her. Ella sits up and rubs her eyes before replying to him.

“Really?” she asks.

“Really,” he answers.

“So, can I call you it again?” she asks with a small smile.

“Yes, you can call me anything,” he tells her. She smiles a little as Logan holds his hands out to her. Ella looks up at me, and I smile and give her an encouraging nod and tilt her a little towards him. She holds her arms out to him, and he takes her before hugging her to him. “I’m sorry I upset you,” he says as he rubs her curls down her back. His eyes land on me, and I watch as a small smile spreads across his face.

“Is no one questioning the fact Logan cooked?” Courtney asks.

“What do you mean?” Ella asks. “Daddy cooks all the time,” she tells us. I raise an eyebrow.

“I’m surprised you’re still alive, Ella,” Courtney says, making me chuckle.

“No, he’s gotten better at cooking,” Lorraine says.

“I think you’re a good cook, daddy,” Ella says.

“Thank you,” he tells her, and Ella sits on his lap as they finish their breakfast. It’s amazing how much their relationship has blossomed.

“Did you make these?” I ask him as I gesture to the stack of pancakes in the middle of the table. He nods. I frown a little and take two off the pile; they’re still quite hot. I wonder when he learnt how to cook. The last time he tried to make breakfast for me, Lorraine ended up banning him from the kitchen for the rest of the day.

~+~

I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m in a car with Logan, Ella and Courtney. When we decided on who was going in which cars, I thought I would be with Carl, Yasmin and Courtney, no. I somehow ended up sitting in the front with Logan. It’s not like I’m trying to avoid him; it’s just I’m embarrassed by my actions. He hasn’t let on that I humiliated myself, but still, I would rather keep my distance from him. Luckily the drive is only around two hours. Plus, with Ella in the car, our chance of talking about anything to do with last night is slim. “So, what’s the deal with the creepy stalker?” Courtney asks. I frown and look behind me at Ella; she’s sat colouring with headphones on. I sigh in relief at knowing she can’t hear our conversation.

“Well, I’ve organised for all of the locks to be changed in your apartment,” Logan tells us. I look at him to see him glance at Ella too.

“What about the cameras?” Courtney asks.

“What camera’s?” I ask, now confused.

“You didn’t tell her?”

“Tell me what?” Logan sighs heavily and shifts a little in his seat. I frown at him and watch as he glances at me, then looks back to the road.

“The forensic team found some hidden cameras in your apartment,” he slowly tells me. I feel the blood drain from my face. “In your room, the living room and…” he trails off and doesn’t look at me.

“Where else?” I ask quietly.

“Don’t panic,” he states.

“Tell me,” I snap.

“Ella’s room,” he says quickly.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I say.

“By the look of things from the date on the camera, they’ve been active for just over two weeks,”

“How many cameras?” I ask.

“One in Ella’s room, it was more focused on her doorway, two in your room and two in the living room,” Logan explains. “They’re trying to track who bought them, but they’re generic cameras; anyone could have bought them,”

“So he’s been watching me for just over two weeks?” I ask.

“I’m not sure,” I can tell by that answer he thinks he’s been watching me for longer. It makes sense. Stalkers watch for a long time before making themselves known. I look behind me to Ella to see her look up at me and smile. I smile back and watch as she takes the headphones off.

“What’s wrong, mommy?” she asks, concern evident in her blue eyes.

“Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were ok,” I tell her. I hate lying to her, but she doesn’t need to know any of this. She is too young.

“I need a tinkle,” she tells me, and I smile.

“Ok, we’ll stop at the next station,” I tell her and look at Logan. He nods and moves his hand onto my leg, giving it a slight squeeze. Probably his way to discreetly hug me and tell me that everything is ok. I smile a little and move his hand into mine.

~+~

Logan holds the door open for me as I walk into the beach house with Ella in my arms; she’d fallen asleep after our quick stop for the toilet. This place is massive; the outside didn’t do it justice. I’d noticed the double garage as we pulled up to the front. It’s a modern build with a lot of glass.

When we got to the neighbourhood, Courtney had gone on her phone and texted me that it was a pricey neighbourhood; all I could do was chuckle a little. Logan had asked me what was funny, and I just told him I’d received a funny text from Sam. I’m not sure if that made him angry or not. He must not know that Sam is gay.

The living room, dining room and kitchen are open-plan; decorated in beige and browns, the island counter in the kitchen is a grey marble and white, offering some separation. I notice a doorway next to the kitchen and the wall that houses an encased fireplace. Steps are at the side of that.

Stepping down the steps into the living room, I feel Ella stir in my arms. She slowly lifts her head and rubs her eyes. “Are we here, Mommy?” she asks.

“Yes,” I say and walk along the wooden floor to put her onto the tan leather couch. Logan places the suitcase I had packed last night, Ella’s bag and his own next to the sofa’s.

“Can we go to the beach now, daddy?” she asks him.

“Yes,” Logan says. I don’t think he’s going to say no to her for a long time if she calls him daddy every time. I wonder if she knows that.

“Maybe you should eat first,” I say as I watch Courtney walk down the steps with her phone in hand. She must have a new bed partner.

“Aww, but I’m not hungry,” Ella says and looks up at Logan.

“Ok,” is all I say. The front door opens again, and Carl, Yasmin, David and Lorraine all walk in. Yasmin looks to be avoiding Carl, kind of glad I wasn’t in that car.

“Good job there are enough rooms for everyone to have their own,” Logan whispers to me. I smile a little in response. “Now everyone is here; you can pick rooms. They’re all pretty much the same,” he tells us. “Apart from the master, but that’s locked,” he says

“Can I sleep with you, Mommy?” Ella asks. I nod, and she puts her hand in mine. “Let’s go pick one,” she says.

After picking where we wanted to sleep, Ella had dragged Logan out to the beach. Everyone apart from Yasmin and Lorraine went out. I was surprised that David went with them. He doesn’t seem like the beach type until he walked out in just a pair of shorts. Courtney side-eyed Lorraine and then whispered something that made Loraine laugh.

Lorraine has gotten herself acquainted with this kitchen pretty quickly. She’s already setting things up for a barbeque. She’s even made food for when we’re on the beach. We’ve only been here an hour. At this moment in time, she’s getting things out for cocktails. Logan told her not to bother, that we’re all capable of making food but also knows she isn’t going to listen and that the cupboard and fridge are already stocked.

“Do you want margarita’s, Megan?” Lorraine asks.

“Nothing for me,” I state and pull down a reusable water bottle to fill it up. “Not after last night,” I mutter.

“What happened last night?” Lorraine asks. How does this woman hear everything?

“Apart from a panty-sniffing stalker?” Yasmin asks. I shudder at that. I’m trying my best not to even think about that part of last night. If I do, I’ll spiral, and I can’t do that. So the best thing to do is to act like it never happened. At least for now.

“I wouldn’t worry about that. Logan and David are already setting things in place so whoever it is can’t get back in,” Lorraine states.

“Yeah, like when she left it to them to deal with Jonathon properly,” Yasmin states sarcastically. Lorraine freezes, and so do I as I look at Yasmin. I’d told Yasmin and Courtney about what truly happened with all of that, and they’ve never mentioned it since. I guess it has been on Yasmin’s mind since, either that or she’s angry at them over it.

“Yes, Logan was reckless and stupid for that,” Lorraine states and continues cutting up limes. “Logan has made many mistakes, but his heart is always in the right place,” she adds as she adds lime juice to the blender. “So tell me why you’re not drinking?” Lorraine asks, changing the conversation back to what we were initially talking about.

“Ok, but promise not to jump to any conclusions or judge me,” I say, mainly looking at Yasmin.

“It’s bad then,” Yasmin says.

“No, I just got really drunk and came onto Logan quite heavily,” I state. “From what I can remember, Logan rejected me, so not only do I feel like a complete whore for the way I acted, I also feel like a fool,” I explain.

“This is a Ross and Rachel situation. You can’t be upset at Logan,” Yasmin states.

“He didn’t reject you because he doesn’t want you,” Lorraine states. “He’s rejected you because you were drunk, and he; I’m guessing, was sober,”

“I know, and I’m not angry at him. I’m angry at myself for making a fool of myself. I basically threw myself at him, and for him to get me to stop, he had to tie me to his bed,”

“That’s too much information for me,” Lorraine states.

“You asked,” I state.

“I don’t need to know what kink you’re both into, although I can guess from what I’ve found in his bedroom before,” she says the last bit under her breath.

“Oh, what have you found?” Yasmin asks as she gets comfy on her chair.

“Nothing too scandalous, just more bondage equipment,” Lorraine says and adds the alcohol to the mix.

“Yeah, he seems the type to be into that,” Yasmin adds. I sigh and look out towards the beach. I can just see Ella sat making a sandcastle with Logan. I smile a little at that.

“We should join them,” I say and look at Lorrain and Yasmin. Yasmin looks towards the beach, and it looks like she’s about to say no when Lorraine talks first.

“Sure, I’m nearly done with the food and drinks. Why don’t you both get ready, and you can help me carry it down,” she says.

“Yeah, sure,” I grab Yasmin’s hand and pull her towards the bedrooms. Once in the bedroom she’s sleeping in, I turn to her and frown. “What’s going on with you and Carl?” I ask.

“Nothing,”

“You’re avoiding him like the plague. You had a face like thunder when you got here. What happened in the car?”

“Nothing,”

“Yaz, tell me,”

“It’s seriously nothing, we argued, and now we’re not talking. It’s ok, though,” she says with a shrug. “Tell me why you’re still pushing Logan away when it’s obvious you want to get back together with him,” she states, twisting the conversation onto me. I frown at her. “You wouldn’t have tried it on with him if it’s not true,”

“I was drunk,”

“And?” she asks as she opens the suitcase to retrieve one of the bikinis.

“It’s not as easy as just getting back together,” I explain.

“How isn’t it? You both want to be together, so you both should just get the angry make-up sex out of the way and get back together,” she pauses as she glances in the mirror while holding the bikini up to her body. “I mean, it’s not like he’s going to be as stupid as last time, plus I’ve threatened him a few times already, he knows that if he hurts you again, he’s officially a dead man,” she says matter of factly. “Also, Courtney has expressed to him how she would cut his penis off in numerous different ways,” she adds. I laugh a little at that and sit down on the bed.

“If it were just me I had to think about, I wouldn’t see a problem. But it’s not,” I explain. “Say we got back together, and we tell Ella, and everything is alright for a little while, but then we argue over something so stupid and petty that he does something stupid and petty,” I tell her. “Look what happened the first-ever argument we had, or when his uncle made it abundantly clear that we’re not good for each other, or when I thought we were in a good place and he thought the best thing to do then was to overdose?” I ask her. “I just...I don’t want to put Ella through that.”

“You love him,” she says after a moment.

“I love my daughter more,” I reply.

“He loves you, and you’re afraid,” she points out. I shrug and look down at my hands in response. “It’s ok to be afraid,”

“I know, I also know loving him isn’t good for me, that I can’t open myself up to being hurt again. I’m not sure I’d be able to handle that,” I admit.

“I get that; that’s how I feel about Carl because, let’s face it, he’s not a one-person man,” she tells me.

“No, he is not,” I say with amusement.