Chapter 42: The Weight of Silence

Chapter 42: The Weight of Silence

Alex’s POV

The moment she left, the silence became unbearable. Her scent lingered; soft, warm, a cruel echo of what I’d just lost to the darkness. Every heartbeat after that sounded like a curse, a reminder that I’d told her to walk away when every part of me wanted to follow.

The courtyard was still a mess of broken stone and blood. My blood, His, Ours. The scent of Darius still tainted the air, sharp and bitter like iron and ash.

I leaned against the wall, forcing myself upright. My ribs screamed, my head spun, and my wolf howled inside my chest, pacing restlessly, demanding I go after her. But I couldn’t, not yet.

Not while Darius was still out there.
Not while I was this weak.

I’d fought him before, but this time was different. He was stronger, hungrier. He wanted something beyond blood or revenge. He wanted control. Over me, Over her.

The memory of his smirk burned behind my eyes.
“She looks like Lyra, doesn’t she? Same eyes, same scent. But she’s not my daughter, is she?”

I’d seen the truth in his eyes before he said it. Darius knew.

He knew Ella wasn’t Lyra.
And he’d used that knowledge like a weapon, cutting through every layer of control I had left.

That’s why I lost it.
That’s why the fight went too far.

My wolf had taken over; half blind with fury, half desperate to protect her from a man who’d already taken everything from me once.

The sky was paling when I finally made it back to my quarters. The halls were quiet, though the scent of fear still clung to the air. I’d managed to slip past the guards, leaving a trail of blood in my wake, but no one stopped me.

I collapsed against the door the moment I shut it.

My reflection in the window was unrecognizable, eyes glowing faint gold, skin pale, jaw bruised. I looked like him. Like Darius. The same anger, the same violence.

That thought alone made me sick.

I stripped off my torn shirt and stared at the gashes along my ribs. They were already beginning to close, but the pain underneath wasn’t physical. It was the kind that buried deep, the kind no healer could touch.

I thought of her, The way her hands shook when she touched me.
The way she said my name like it hurt to breathe it.
The fear in her eyes when she realized Darius had been there.

I’d promised to keep her safe.
And I’d failed.

The door creaked. Instinct kicked in, I turned fast, half-shifted before I caught her scent.

Ella.
She stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind her, her eyes wide and cautious. She was still wearing her nightclothes, a cloak thrown over them, hair damp from the mist outside.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I said, voice low.

“You said that last time.”

I almost smiled, but it died before it reached my lips. “If they catch you here…”

“They won’t.” She hesitated, then crossed the room. Her eyes landed on the half-healed wound at my side, and all the color drained from her face. “Moon above, Alex…”

“I told you I’d be fine.”

“You’re not fine,” she snapped, the words trembling. “You nearly died out there.”

I didn’t answer.

She came closer anyway, close enough that her scent filled my lungs again; wild honey and smoke. She reached for me, but I caught her wrist gently.

“Don’t,” I said quietly. “You’ll get blood on you.”

Her voice broke. “I already do.”

That made me look up. Her eyes shimmered with tears. “When I touched you last night, it was all over my hands. I couldn’t wash it off.”

“Ella—”

“I keep seeing it,” she whispered. “The blood, the fight… you. I thought…” She swallowed hard. “I thought he’d kill you.”

I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t. I just stood there, watching her crumble under a weight she shouldn’t have to carry.

“I told you to go,” I finally said.

“I did. But you didn’t come back.”

Something twisted in my chest.

She stepped closer, her hand rising hesitantly to my cheek. “You’re burning up,” she murmured.

I closed my eyes for a second, leaning into her touch despite myself. “My wolf’s restless. He doesn’t like being caged.”

Her fingers stilled. “Because of Darius?”

“Because of you.”

Her breath caught. “What?”

“He wants to protect you,” I said softly. “Even from me.”

Silence stretched between us. Then, quietly, she said, “You’re not like him, Alex.”

I laughed bitterly. “You didn’t see me last night.”

“I saw you fight for someone other than yourself. That’s not what monsters do.”

The words hit harder than any blade.

She moved closer until there was almost no space between us. Her eyes met mine, steady, fierce. “He wants to break you,” she said. “Don’t let him.”

Her voice was soft, but her words were steel.

I reached up before I could stop myself, brushing my thumb along her jaw. “You’re not afraid of me?”

She shook her head slowly. “Not anymore.”

“Maybe you should be.”

“I think,” she whispered, “you’re more afraid of yourself than I could ever be.”

She was right. Moon help me, she was right.

I dropped my hand, stepped back, forced air into my lungs. “You should go.”

“I’m not leaving you like this.”

“You don’t have a choice,” I said quietly, not looking at her. “If Darius knows who you are now, and he does he’ll come back. And next time, he won’t be after me.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well, I do.”

The words came out rougher than I meant. Her eyes widened slightly, then softened.

Before I could say anything else, she stepped forward, pressed a hand to my chest, and whispered, “Then don’t face him alone.”

I froze.

The warmth of her hand against my heart was the only thing anchoring me to this room, to this moment.

Her voice was barely a breath. “We’ll find a way out. Together.”

I looked down at her, at the stubborn set of her jaw, at the fear hiding behind her courage. My wolf quieted, just slightly.

“Together,” I repeated, though part of me knew it was a lie.
Because the truth was simple, brutal, and cold.
If Darius came again, only one of us was walking away.

And I already knew who I’d die for.