Chapter 75
Summer's POV
The portable grill glowed between us, casting orange light across Kieran's face. He crouched beside my dead fire pit, examining the arrangement of kindling with the same focus he brought to physics problems.
"You almost had it," he said quietly. His left hand nudged a piece of bark into a better position. "The structure was right. Just bad luck with the wind."
My throat felt tight. I wanted to say something clever, something that would make him smile the way he had in the bus when I'd thanked him for sharing the ice cream. Instead I just watched his fingers work, noting how he compensated for his right hand's limitations without drawing attention to it.
"Summer?" Mia's voice came from across the clearing. "I'm heading to the cabin to change before dinner. You coming?"
I glanced at her, caught the knowing look in her eyes, the way she was already backing away. "In a minute."
She left. The clearing felt suddenly smaller, more private despite the other groups scattered around their fire pits. Kieran sat back on his heels, wiping soot on his jeans.
"You worked hard on this," he said, gesturing at the cold pile of wood. Something in his tone made my chest ache—like he understood exactly how much effort I'd put in, how much it had mattered to succeed.
I shrugged, trying to seem casual even though my arms were trembling from exhaustion. "Guess I'm not cut out for wilderness survival."
"That's not true." He stood, brushing dirt from his knees. For a moment I thought he might leave, but he stayed there, backlit by the setting sun. "You know what you're doing. I watched you organize the kindling. Most people just throw it together and hope."
Heat crept up my neck. "You were watching me?"
His ears went red. "I was—everyone could see. From over there." He gestured vaguely toward the boys' fire pit, not meeting my eyes. "Anyway, you should pull your pant legs down. The mosquitoes here are really bad once the sun sets."
I looked down at my rolled cuffs, then tugged them over my ankles like he'd suggested earlier. The fabric was still damp from the hike, cold against my skin.
"Thanks," I said softly.
He nodded once, then turned to go. I watched him walk away, his shoulders slightly hunched, hands shoved in his hoodie pockets. The portable grill sat abandoned between us, still glowing with heat he'd brought over for my failed fire.
I should have let him leave. Should have gone to change like Mia suggested. But something about the way he'd looked at my bruised elbow, the gentleness in his reminder about the mosquitoes, made me want to hold onto this moment a little longer.
"Kieran?"
He stopped, glanced back.
"I'm glad you're here," I said, the words tumbling out before I could overthink them. "At this trip. With me."
His expression shifted—surprise, then something softer that made my heartbeat stutter. He opened his mouth like he might say something back, but Ms. Thompson's voice cut through the clearing.
"Dinner in twenty minutes, people! If you haven't started your fire by now, you're eating sandwiches!"
The moment broke. Kieran gave me a small nod, almost a smile, then disappeared toward the boys' cabin. I stood there alone, staring at the portable grill he'd left behind, feeling the ghost of his presence like warmth against my skin.
---
By the time I got back to Cabin 4, the other girls were already arguing over shower schedules. Ashley stood by the bathroom door with a towel, looking annoyed.
"There's barely any hot water," she complained. "Like, what kind of educational experience is this supposed to be?"
Mia caught my eye from her bunk and patted the space beside her. I sat, grateful for the excuse to avoid Ashley's complaints.
"So," Mia said quietly, keeping her voice low enough that the others wouldn't hear. "You and Kieran looked cozy by the fire pit."
My face went hot. "He was just checking if I needed help."
"Uh-huh." She grinned, nudging my shoulder. "And you just happened to turn bright red when he talked to you."
"I did not—"
"You totally did. I could see it from across the clearing." She leaned closer, her expression turning more serious. "You really like him, don't you?"
I wanted to deny it. Wanted to laugh it off the way I would have with Ava or any of the other girls who used to surround me. But this was Mia, who'd stood by me when everyone else was whispering about my breakup with Evan, who'd never asked for anything except honest friendship.
"Yeah," I admitted quietly. "I really do."
She squeezed my hand. "Good. He seems like he actually sees you, you know? Not just the princess everyone expects you to be."
My throat tightened. I thought about Kieran's careful attention to my fire pit structure, the way he'd noticed my bruised elbow, how he'd brought over his portable grill even though he had no obligation to help me. In my first life, I'd been so focused on Evan's indifference that I'd never noticed Kieran at all. Now I couldn't stop noticing him—every small kindness, every guarded smile, every moment his walls came down just enough to let me in.
"I'm scared I'll mess it up," I whispered.
Mia's grip tightened. "Then don't. Be yourself. The real you, not the version everyone else wants."
Before I could respond, Ashley emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of expensive perfume. "Your turn, Summer. Fair warning, the water pressure is pathetic."
I grabbed my towel and headed for the lukewarm shower, Mia's words echoing in my head. Be yourself. But which self? The girl who used to care only about being perfect for Evan? The woman I'd become in my first life, broken and desperate? Or this new version, caught between past and present, trying to rewrite a future I'd already lived?
The water was indeed barely warm, but I didn't care. I stood under the weak stream, watching mud and pine needles swirl down the drain, and made myself a promise: for the next three days, I would stop overthinking. I would let myself be seventeen, here in these woods with Kieran just a cabin away. Whatever happened after, I'd face it when I got home.
---
Dinner was served buffet-style in the main lodge, a rustic building with exposed beams and a stone fireplace big enough to stand in. Mrs. Walker had set out platters of food—steak and roasted potatoes for those who'd successfully built fires, cold sandwiches for everyone else.
I loaded my plate with sandwich fixings, trying not to feel too disappointed about missing the steak. Mia joined me at a long wooden table near the windows, where we could see the last streaks of sunset through the pine trees.
"At least the bread is fresh," she said, taking a bite.
I nodded, but my attention had already drifted to the other side of the room where the boys were gathering. Kieran stood near the back, a plate of steak and potatoes in his hands, talking to Logan. Or rather, Logan was talking while Kieran listened with that distant, guarded expression I'd come to recognize as his default around other people.
Then his gaze found mine across the crowded room.
The noise of sixty students faded to background static. He didn't smile, didn't wave, just held my eyes for a long moment before looking away. But something in that brief connection made my pulse quicken, made me grip my sandwich a little too tight.
"Earth to Summer," Mia said, waving a hand in front of my face. "You're staring."
"Sorry." I forced myself to focus on my food, even though I'd completely lost my appetite. "Just spacing out."
She followed my gaze across the room, her expression knowing. "Right. Spacing out. That's definitely what that was."
I kicked her under the table. She laughed, unbothered.
The meal passed in a blur of conversation I barely registered.
After dinner, Ms. Thompson gathered us in the clearing between cabins for announcements. The temperature had dropped with the sunset, and I pulled my jacket tighter, grateful I'd packed warm layers.
"Optional activity," Ms. Thompson called out, consulting her clipboard. "There's a stream about a quarter mile down the trail. Anyone interested in trying to catch brook trout can head down there with Mrs. Walker. If you're successful, you can grill your catch for a snack later tonight."
Most students groaned or rolled their eyes. Ashley muttered something about "primitive torture." But a few boys perked up, including—my heart jumped—Kieran.
He stood near the edge of the group, hands in his hoodie pockets, his expression carefully neutral. But I'd learned to read the small signs: the slight tilt of his head, the way his left hand flexed against his side. He was interested.
"I'll go," he said quietly when Mrs. Walker asked for volunteers.
Logan immediately declined. "Dude, it's freezing and we're already soaked from the hike. Why would you voluntarily get wet again?"
Kieran shrugged. "Fresh fish sounds good."