Chapter 53
Summer's POV
I stared at the menu like it was the most fascinating thing I'd ever seen.
It wasn't. I'd eaten at Dunkin' a hundred times. But right now, pretending to be deeply invested in the difference between a Boston Kreme and a Jelly-filled was the only thing keeping me from completely losing it.
Because Kieran's hand was still in mine.
Well—not in mine anymore. He'd pulled back about thirty seconds ago, but I could still feel the ghost of his scarred skin against my palms. The rough texture of the raised tissue. The way his fingers had trembled slightly before they'd gone still.
He'd shown me. He'd actually shown me.
And I'd held his hand. And he'd let me.
"Summer?"
I jerked my head up. Kieran was watching me with an unreadable expression, his gray eyes shadowed. His right arm was back under the table now, hidden again.
"You should order something," he said quietly. "If you're staying."
Right. Food. Normal human activity.
I grabbed the menu again, scanning it with probably too much intensity. "I'm starving," I announced, my voice coming out a little too bright. "Those Munchkins earlier didn't even count."
Kieran's mouth twitched. Almost like he wanted to smile but didn't quite remember how.
I pointed at two combo meals on the board—the kind that came with multiple donuts and hot drinks. Definitely more than one person could eat. "I want the Boston Kreme," I said. "And the Jelly-filled. But there's no way I can finish both."
I glanced at him, trying to keep my tone casual. "Are you hungry?"
His jaw tightened. "Summer—"
"I really want to try both," I said quickly. "But I'll feel bad if I waste food. So." I tugged lightly on the sleeve of his hoodie, lowering my voice. "Could you help me? Please?"
He stared at me. Then at my hand on his sleeve. Then back at my face.
"You're doing it again," he said flatly.
"Doing what?"
"That thing where you ask like you're the one who needs help." His eyes narrowed slightly. "When really you're trying to—"
"I'm trying to make sure you eat something," I interrupted. My cheeks were burning, but I didn't look away. "Because you've been tutoring all afternoon and I know you probably didn't have time for lunch and you look exhausted."
Kieran opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.
"So yeah," I said, softer now. "I'm asking. Will you help me?"
For a long moment, he didn't answer. Just looked at me with those storm-gray eyes, like he was trying to solve an equation that didn't make sense.
Then he turned his head slightly, staring at the wall behind me. His ears were red.
"...Fine," he muttered.
Relief flooded through me. "Thank you."
"Don't," he said quickly. "Don't thank me. You're the one buying."
"I know. But still." I smiled. "Thank you."
He didn't respond. But when I got up to place the order, I caught the faintest hint of color spreading across his cheekbones.
---
The line was long. Apparently every high schooler in a five-mile radius had decided Dunkin' was the place to be after school. By the time I reached the counter, my feet were starting to hurt and I was seriously regretting my choice of boots.
When I finally made it back to the table with a receipt and a number placard, Kieran and Lily had settled into their own little worlds.
Lily had propped her Rapunzel doll up against the napkin dispenser and was carefully folding a napkin into what looked like a tower. Her tongue stuck out slightly in concentration, her small hands working with surprising precision.
Kieran had pulled out a beat-up physics textbook—the pages were dog-eared and the cover was held together with duct tape. He was flipping through it with his left hand, his right resting on his lap under the table.
I slid back into my seat as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb them.
But Kieran's eyes flicked up immediately, tracking my movement. He didn't say anything. Just watched me for a second before returning his attention to the book.
Except he wasn't really reading. I could tell by the way his gaze didn't move across the page. He was just staring at the same paragraph, over and over.
I pulled out my phone, pretending to scroll through messages. But really, I was watching him.
The way his jaw was tight. The way his left hand gripped the edge of the book a little too hard. The way his shoulders were hunched forward, like he was trying to make himself smaller.
My chest ached.
I wanted to reach across the table and smooth out the tension in his shoulders. I wanted to tell him he didn't have to pretend to read. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking about.
But I didn't. Because I was pretty sure if I pushed too hard right now, he'd bolt.
So instead, I just sat there. Watching him. Waiting.
Across from me, Lily finished her napkin tower and nudged it toward Kieran with a proud smile. He glanced down, and for a split second, his expression softened.
"Nice work, Lil," he murmured.
She beamed and immediately started folding another napkin.
I bit my lip, my heart squeezing.
This. This was what I'd missed in my first life. This quiet, gentle side of Kieran. The way he was with Lily. The way he could be, when he wasn't carrying the weight of the entire world on his shoulders.
I wanted to protect this. I wanted to protect him.
Even if he didn't want me to.
---
Lily pulled out a fresh napkin and started drawing. I leaned forward slightly, curious.
Three stick figures. One small, with short hair—clearly Lily. One tall and thin, with messy hair—Kieran. And one with long, wavy hair—me.
My breath caught.
Lily drew little hands connecting all three figures, then added stars above their heads. When she finished, she pushed the napkin toward Kieran with an excited grin.
He froze.
His eyes locked on the drawing, and for a moment, he didn't move. Didn't breathe.
Then his gaze shifted to me.
I felt my face heat up under his stare. There was something raw in his expression—something vulnerable and guarded all at once.
"That's us," I said softly, because someone had to say something.
Kieran swallowed. His Adam's apple bobbed. "Yeah."
Lily was signing something at him, her hands moving quickly. I couldn't understand it, but whatever she said made Kieran's ears turn red again.
"She wants to know if you like it," he said quietly.
"I love it." I looked at Lily, smiling. "Can I keep it?"
She nodded enthusiastically and pushed the napkin closer to me.
I picked it up carefully, like it was something precious. Because it was. "Thank you, Lily. I'll take really good care of it."