Chapter 141
Summer's POV
"It's perfect," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the distant sound of a car alarm somewhere beyond the narrow alley between the teaching buildings.
Relief washed over his face like sunrise breaking through storm clouds, and before I could think better of it—before my rational mind could catch up with my heart—I stood on my toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then immediately stepped back.
Kieran's hand flew to where I'd kissed him, his fingers hovering over the spot as if he could still feel the touch of my lips there, his eyes wide with shock and something else I couldn't quite name—something that made my stomach flip and my breath catch in my throat despite the cold air stinging my lungs.
"That's... that's my thank you," I stammered, covering my face with my hands because I couldn't bear to see his reaction anymore, couldn't handle the way he was looking at me like I'd just given him the world instead of just a simple kiss on the cheek.
He laughed, low and warm, the sound rumbling through his chest in a way that made me want to press closer even as I tried to hide, his breath forming small clouds in the frigid air between us. "You're going to kill me, Summer."
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We ended up sitting against the cold brick wall, shoulders pressed together in that perfect kind of closeness that felt both comfortable and electric at the same time, like we'd been doing this forever but it was also brand new every single time, the rough texture of the old building behind us grounding me in this moment. I kept playing with the ring, turning it this way and that so the little bow caught the pale afternoon light filtering into our hidden corner, watching how it sparkled against my skin like it had always belonged there, like it had been waiting all this time to find its way to my finger.
A gust of wind swept through the alley, carrying with it the scent of fallen leaves and distant rain, and I shivered involuntarily before Kieran shifted closer, his body heat a welcome barrier against the cold. I turned to look at him fully, studying the sharp lines of his face, the way his gray eyes seemed to hold entire storms inside them, the small scar on his chin that I'd never asked about but had always wanted to. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me," I whispered, watching my breath mingle with his in the space between us. "Even when you were being impossible and distant and making me want to shake you, you were still the best thing."
He leaned his forehead against mine, and I could feel the warmth of his breath on my lips, could see the way his pupils dilated in the dim light of our sheltered spot. "I don't deserve you."
"Stop saying that." I cupped his face with my free hand, my thumb brushing over his cheekbone, noting how his skin had gone slightly pink from the cold. "You deserve everything good in this world, Kieran Cross. You deserve happiness and success and love and all the things you've been denying yourself because you think you're not worth it. You are worth it. You're worth everything."
For a moment, I thought he might kiss me—really kiss me, not just on the forehead or cheek but properly, the way I'd been dreaming about since that day at Walden Pond when he'd held my hand and looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered. But instead, he just held me closer, his arms wrapping around me like he was trying to memorize the shape of me, the feel of me against him, and I let myself sink into the embrace, let myself pretend that this moment could last forever even as another cold breeze reminded me that we couldn't hide here indefinitely.
"Summer," he said eventually, his voice muffled against my hair. "There's something I need to tell you."
The seriousness in his tone made my heart skip, and I pulled back slightly to look at him, trying to read the expression on his face in the shadowy light of the alley. "What is it?"
He took a deep breath, and I could see the way his jaw tightened, the way his eyes flickered with something that looked almost like pain. "I need you to know that this—" he gestured between us, at the ring on my finger, at the space where we sat pressed together against the cold brick "—this is real. What I feel for you is real. And I need you to hold onto that, okay? No matter what happens next."
"You're scaring me." My voice came out smaller than I intended, and I hated how vulnerable I sounded, how easily he could see right through me to all my fears and insecurities, how the cold seemed to seep deeper into my bones with every word. "What's going to happen next?"
"Nothing bad," he said quickly, his hands coming up to frame my face, his thumbs brushing away tears I hadn't realized were falling, the warmth of his touch a stark contrast to the cold air. "I promise, nothing bad. I just... I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"
I nodded, even though I didn't fully understand, even though part of me wanted to demand answers and explanations and reassurances that everything would be okay. But I trusted him—I'd always trusted him, even when he was pushing me away, even when he was being difficult and stubborn and impossible. I trusted him because he was Kieran, because he was the boy who remembered every small detail I'd ever shared with him, because he was the one who'd given me a ring with a bow on it and looked at me like I was something precious and worth protecting.
"I trust you," I whispered, and I meant it with every fiber of my being.