Chapter 134
Kieran's POV
Lily stared at me for a long moment, like she was trying to decide if she believed me. Then she nodded and went to our room, closing the door softly behind her.
I turned to Mom.
She was still crying, her whole body shaking with it. When she looked at me, her eyes were red and swollen.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think—I didn't know he'd just show up like that—"
"Where did you sleep last night?"
She flinched. "Kieran—"
"Where?"
"The motel on Dorchester Ave." Her voice was barely audible. "He didn't have anywhere to go. I couldn't just leave him on the street—"
"Yes, you could." I felt something cold and hard settling in my chest. "You absolutely could."
"He's changed—"
"Stop saying that." I crossed the room to the counter, where Drake had left the McDonald's bags. Inside were cold burgers and fries, the cheap kind he'd probably bought with whatever money he'd scraped together. I shoved them into the trash. "He hasn't changed. He's exactly the same. He just got better at pretending."
"You don't know that—"
"I know he put me in the hospital." My voice was rising again. "I know he broke three of my ribs and fractured my wrist and damaged the nerves in my hand so badly that I'll never have full use of it again. I know he hit Lily so hard she lost hearing in one ear. I know he—"
"Stop!" Mom's voice cracked. "Just stop. I know what he did. I was there. I saw it."
"Then why the fuck are you letting him back in?"
"Because I'm weak!" She was sobbing now, the words coming out in gasps. "Because I'm tired and I'm scared and I don't know how to do this alone anymore. Because he said he was sorry. Because he cried and told me he missed us and I—I wanted to believe him."
I stared at her. She looked small suddenly, fragile in a way I'd never noticed before. Like if I pushed too hard, she'd shatter completely.
But I couldn't afford to be gentle right now.
"He wrote me a letter. A promise."
Mom's hand went to her pocket. She pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, the edges worn like she'd been reading it over and over. "He signed it. He even pressed his thumbprint—"
I took the paper from her. Didn't even look at it. Just reached into my pocket and pulled out the Zippo Summer had given me.
"Kieran, what are you—"
I flicked it open. The flame caught on the first try, steady and bright.
"No—"
I held the paper to the flame. It caught instantly, the edges curling and blackening. Mom lunged forward, but I held it up, letting it burn. The heat licked at my fingers—my right hand, the one that couldn't feel temperature properly anymore. I didn't let go until the paper was nothing but ash, falling to the floor in pieces.
"You can't—" Mom was crying harder now, staring at the ashes. "That was—he promised—"
"His promises don't mean anything," I said. My voice sounded strange, distant. "They never did."
Mom sank onto the couch, her face in her hands. I stood there for a moment, watching her shoulders shake, feeling nothing but that cold, hard certainty in my chest.
"Listen to me," I said quietly. "Drake can stay in Southie. He can get a job, find an apartment, do whatever the fuck he wants. But he doesn't come here. He doesn't come near Lily. If I see him on this street, I'm calling the cops."
"They won't do anything—"
"Then I will."
Mom looked up at me, her eyes wide. "What does that mean?"
"It means I'll do whatever I have to do to protect her." I held her gaze. "And I mean whatever, Mom. Do you understand?"
She stared at me like she was seeing me for the first time. Like she was seeing something in me that scared her.
"I need Lily's documents," I said. "Birth certificate. Social security card. Medical records. Everything."
"Why?"
"Because I don't trust you not to give them to him."
"Kieran—"
"I need them. Now."
She got up slowly, like her legs weren't quite working right. Went to the bedroom and came back with a manila envelope. She handed it to me without a word.
I checked inside. Everything was there.
"One more thing," I said. "If Drake asks you for money, if he asks you to help him with anything, you say no. If he tries to move in, you say no. If he wants to see Lily, you say no."
"What if he doesn't listen?"
"Then you call me. Immediately. And if I'm not around, you call the cops."
"And if the cops don't help?"
I looked at her. "Then you make sure Lily is somewhere safe, and you let me handle it."
"Handle it how?"
I didn't answer. I just put the envelope in my backpack and zipped it up.
Mom was staring at me, her face pale. "You're scaring me."
"Good," I said. "You should be scared. Not of me. Of him. Because if he touches Lily again—if he even looks at her wrong—I will end him. Do you understand? I will fucking end him."
The words hung in the air between us. Mom opened her mouth. Closed it. Then she nodded, just once.
"Okay," she whispered. "Okay."
I went to check on Lily. She was curled up on her bed with her headphones on, watching something on the old tablet I'd bought her with my tutoring money. When she saw me, she paused the video.
"Is Mom okay?" she signed.
"She will be," I signed back.
"Are you okay?"
I hesitated. Then I nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay."
She didn't look convinced, but she didn't push. Just went back to her video.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and watched her for a moment. She looked so small, so fragile. The cochlear implant on the nightstand caught the light, a reminder of how much she'd already lost. How much more she could lose if I didn't keep her safe.
I thought about Drake's smile. About Tony's easy assumption that we'd all just play happy family. About Mom's weakness, her willingness to believe in promises that meant nothing.
And I thought about what I'd said to Mom. About ending him.
I'd meant it.
If Drake came back—when he came back, because I knew he would—I would do whatever it took. I'd kept Lily safe for two years by making myself the target, by trading my right hand for her safety. I could do it again.
I would do it again.
Even if it meant becoming exactly what everyone already thought I was.