No one will stop me from being here for you

No one will stop me from being here for you
Serena

“We have to go to the hospital today for your checkup,” Nico said calmly, as if he were talking about the weather or a routine meeting.

The moment he said it, my chest tightened, and a familiar dread settled deep inside me. I had known this conversation was coming, and I had been quietly fearing it for days. He wanted me to step outside the estate, to leave the walls that had become my only sense of safety, and the thought alone made my heart race.

I did not want to go to the hospital. I did not want to step outside at all.

What if something happened again, just like before. What if history repeated itself in a way I could not stop. What if I was alone with my child and everything fell apart the way it once did. What would I do then, and how would I survive something like that again.

I was heavily pregnant now, and the burden of it was not just physical. I needed them. I needed everyone. I needed Nico with me constantly, his presence grounding me in ways I could not explain. I needed Lucia, loud and sharp and protective in her own way. I needed Nina and Grace with their constant chatter and concern. I needed Adrian, Gino, and Luca around me, filling the space with noise and familiarity.

They were my family.

Without them, the world felt unbearable.

I could not survive long stretches of silence or distance anymore, and the thought of being separated from them even for a few hours filled me with panic. I needed to see them, to hear them, to know they were close. Without that reassurance, my mind spiraled into places I could not control.

I cannot go to the hospital, my thoughts repeated, growing louder with every second.

What if something goes wrong.

What if I cannot protect my child.

What if I am alone again.

I did not even realize that I had started shaking my head until Nico stepped closer and gently called my name. My body was already reacting before my mind could catch up, refusing the idea with instinct rather than logic.

“No,” I said, my voice trembling as I continued shaking my head. “No. We can go to the Famiglia clinic. That is enough. I do not want to go anywhere else.”

“Serena,” Nico said patiently, though I could hear the strain beneath his calm. “Doctor Bates is the best gynecologist we have access to. This checkup is important, and the hospital has the right equipment and the right environment for it.”

“I am not saying I will not get checked,” I replied quickly, desperation creeping into my voice. “You can bring her here. You bring the doctor here. I am not leaving.”

He sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair, a gesture I recognized as his attempt to stay composed.

“We have to leave the house at some point,” he said gently. “If you do not leave now, what happens when the baby gets older. Will you keep the baby locked inside these walls forever because we are scared. We cannot cage our child because of fear. We have to take a step outside at some point, right.”

“No,” I said stubbornly, my voice rising despite myself. “No, Nico.”

I could feel panic spreading through my chest, making it harder to breathe. The room felt smaller, the walls closing in as if even they were demanding something from me.

“You are putting our child at risk,” I said, my words tumbling out in a rush. “I will not go. I cannot go. I will not go.”

I could hear how frantic I sounded, but I could not stop it. Fear had taken control, and once it did, reason no longer mattered.

Seeing that I was close to completely breaking down, Nico raised his hands slowly in surrender.

“Okay,” he said softly. “Okay. I understand. We will talk about it later.”

“No,” I snapped, the panic turning into anger before I could stop it. “We will never talk about it. Never. Do you understand me. Never. Go out. You are upsetting me. You are hurting me. Just go. Go.”

I raised my hand in the air as if to physically push him away, even though I did not touch him.

“I am going,” he said quickly, his voice low and careful. “I am going. You calm down.”

He left the room quietly, closing the door behind him without a sound.

The moment he was gone, everything I had been holding back collapsed.

I slid down onto the bed and began crying uncontrollably, my body shaking with sobs that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. I did not know where these tears were coming from, but they would not stop. I buried my face in my hands, ashamed of myself and overwhelmed by guilt.

I had been acting terribly toward Nico, and I knew it. I wanted him to be happy, but instead I was turning his life into a constant balancing act. He was already walking on eggshells around me, watching every word and movement so he would not trigger another breakdown.

Was this what our relationship had become.

The roles had reversed completely, and now I was the one making his days harder, darker, and heavier. I did not want to go out, and I did not want to be brave or fearless. Instead of fighting my fears, I was fighting him, because he was the only safe place where my fear could spill out without consequences.

I hated that version of myself.

I did not want this dynamic with my husband, but I also did not know how to fix it. Every time I tried to be stronger, fear dragged me back down. Every time I tried to be calm, panic took over.

How do I become the old Serena again, I wondered helplessly.

The one who could face the world without shaking.

There was a knock on the door, soft and hesitant.

It was Nico.

“I left my phone inside,” he said from the doorway. “Can I take it.”

I did not answer.

He came in quietly, picked up his phone from the side table, and turned to leave. Before he reached the door, he stopped and turned back toward me. Without saying another word, he crossed the room and pulled me into his arms.

He kissed my forehead gently, lingering there as if grounding both of us.

“You can push me away all you want, Dove,” he whispered. “But no one will stop me from being here for you.”