Chapter 34 Conflicted hearts
Isla’s POV.
The sunlight hit my eyes before I even opened them, sharp and insistent.
My head ached slightly, and I groaned into the pillow, but didn’t move right away.
My body felt heavy, as if I was carrying a weight I didn't know, a weight that had pressed onto my chest all night.
The memories of yesterday were still tangled up with nightmares of the past. I fell asleep thinking about my mother, about Josie and Iris, about all the choices I had never been allowed to make.
I turned over slowly, avoiding the sunlight, hands curling around the sheets. My mind was calm at first, but then I started thinking about him.
The man I had spent the last few days around, watching carefully, gauging him, guarding myself. I realized that somehow, I had started letting my guard down.
And I didn’t even realize it till now.
I started noticing things. Small things. How he adjusted his tie when he thought no one was watching.
How he spoke softly whenever he was correcting someone, he doesn’t embarrass, but guides them.
How he paused when saying something to make sure I understood, even when there were other people watching.
How he just existed in ways that made me feel safe and appreciated.
How he makes me feel like I was human and could make my own choices.
I blinked against the light, swallowing hard.
What was wrong with me today? Why do I feel this way?
It scared the hell out of me.
The plan was to save my siblings from my father’s grasps. But here I was, thinking about him.
I had spent my life thinking men like him… men like my husband were impossible to trust.
Men like him were always dangerous and possessive. And here I was, letting myself think that he might… care.
That he might see me as a person, not just someone to control. And my chest raced in strange ways.
Sometimes it raced in fear, and sometimes it raced like something I knew but hadn't considered possible.
I pushed myself upright, the sheets falling from my shoulders, and swung my legs over the side of the bed.
I needed air. I needed to feel something real before the day started.
As I walked to the bathroom, I caught my reflection in the mirror.
My eyes looked so tired. Maybe I had been lost in my head lately. But it didn’t look like tiredness, it looked like a flicker or longing or uncertainty.
I tilted my head. Is this love? I said to myself. I didn’t want it to be. And I told myself it wasn’t.
I wasn’t allowed to fall in love with anyone, not really. Not when my father had a hold over everything I cared about.
Not when Josie and Iris are still trapped in his grasp.
But there it was. That warmth that started whenever I remembered his hand brushing mine by accident, or the way he defended me yesterday without a scene.
The way he didn’t demand of push and didn’t make me feel like I owed him anything.
I shook my head. Stop imagining things.
Still, the thought couldn’t get off my mind.
Breakfast was quiet. I barely touched the food, my mind drifting back to the Romano office.
To the way he had looked at me yesterday, the small smiles, and the small reassurance.
My husband, had been… attentive. He was polite and warm. But I couldn’t ignore the difference.
With him, I was deliberate, cautions and calculated. With Damian, everything feels natural, effortless, like he didn’t realize he was doing it, but it still affected me.
I picked my toast and coffee, lost in thoughts. The clinking of utensils and the quiet hum of the morning didn’t reach me.
Everytime my husband spoke.
After breakfast I excused myself under the pretense of work.
I just needed time alone, needed to sort out my thoughts before they completely unraveled me.
The driver was quiet. I tried to replay every small interaction I had with him yesterday, trying to understand why my heart felt like it was tugging me toward him even when my heart screamed not to.
Iris’s face floated in my mind, a small stubborn, defiant thing that refused to leave my thoughts.
I didn’t see him the last time I went to visit home, and the thought that my father could be schemeing again, trying to use him or Josie as leverage tightened my stomach.
I need to protect them. I have to.
And yet, I felt guilty. Guilty to think about him when there was so much else to worry about.
Guilty for feeling warmth when my life had been nothing but cold calculations, and letting myself want someone when I wasn’t supposed to.
I arrived at the Romano office and barely looked at the faces around me.
I nodded absently, answered emails, organized files, but nothing stuck. Everything blurred together.
My phone buzzed constantly, notifications from Josie, messages about the lasted schemes from my father.
I tried to read them, tried to respond, but the messages didn’t make sense, my mind kept going back to him.
He noticed, of course. He alway noticed.
He didn’t say anything at first. He just let me move, let me falter, let me drift, all the while standing close enough I knew he was there.
He was watching and waiting. And then, quietly, he touched my shoulder. A light touch, almost casual, but enough to make me startle.
“Isla,” he said softly. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I froze, my heart beating too fast. Talk to him? I couldn’t. Not yet. My thoughts were tangled. My feelings were tangled. My life was tangled.
“I’m fine,” I said, though the lie tasted bitter on my tongue.
He didn’t push, he just nodded and step back slightly, leaving me enough space to breathe, but close enough that I felt the warmth radiating from him. Why does this feel dangerous?
The rest of the day passed in a haze. I finished my work with precision, but I couldn’t focus. My mind was elsewhere.
Every time my phone buzzed with a message from Josie, my stomach twisted.
Every time someone mentioned my father, my chest tightened. And every time he looks at me, my mind stutters.
By mid-afternoon, I decided to step into his office. I needed answers, we had some much to talk about.
He was seated behind his desk, calm and poised, and somehow much human than anyone that I had ever known.
He looked up, noticed the way my hands were filled with files I carried. “Isla.” He said, voice low. “You’ve been distracted all day.”
I swallowed. “I’m… just tired.”
“I don’t think so,” he said gently, leaning his back to his chair. “The look on your face tells me something else. You look bothered and you’ve trying to hide it.”
I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it, that I was fine and that I could handle myself.
But his eyes held curiosity on them.
“Iris,” I whispered finally. The name slipped out before I could stop it.
He froze slightly, and then nodded. “What about him?”
“He… he’s I’m worried about what my father might do next,” I admitted, voice trembling. “I can’t…”
“You don’t have to handle that alone,” he interrupted softly. “I’ll help you. I’ll make sure nothing happens to him. To Josie. And to you.”
I blinked, startled. That warmth and unspoken promise, it wasn’t forceful or threatening, just safe and steady.
But then I felt guilty. I shouldn’t feel this way about him and I shouldn’t want him.
“I don’t need…” I started, but he cut me off with a slight shake of head.
“Yes, you do,” he said. “And it's okay. You’re allowed to need someone.”
I couldn’t respond, my throat felt tight. My chest heaved, and yet a part of me accepted.
But needing him meant letting my guard down. And letting my guard down meant… falling.
Falling into him.
And that thought terrified me.
The afternoon passed and I was still with him. I stayed in his office longer than I was supposed to.
I was drawn to him, my heart kept clinging to him, while my mind screamed that I shouldn’t, because I had no right.
By the time I left his office, it was already dark. The city was decorated in white and golden light.
The street was buzzing with movement. I felt both lighter and heavier, filled and empty all at once.
My heart felt like I was moving in two directions.
Pulling toward him and toward reason, toward caution and survival.
On the drive home, I tried to think clearly. I tried to focus on the plan ahead.
I tried to focus on Josie, on Iris, and on myself.
But every turn of the wheels and every glance at the rear view mirror, every shadow passing by reminded me of him.
By the time I pulled into the drive way, I was exhausted. Mentally and emotionally. I didn’t even notice my husband standing by the door until I was halfway up the steps.
He smiled faintly. “Rough day?”
I nodded, unable to speak, my mind still lost.
He held the door for me, and that small gesture made my mind tightened.
I stepped inside and the house was quiet. There were no servants bustling around and no orders to follow.
Just empty space and shadows, and yet, the emptiness made my heart race. Because I realized I had been carrying something else all day, something I didn’t admit.
Him.
I want into the coach, letting my thoughts roam, trying to untangle them. Trying to figure out why I felt safe around a man I didn’t even fully know.
I was trying to figure out why I wanted more than just protection. Why I wanted attention and why I wanted him.
And then a question hit me unaware.
Why does he make me feel this way? Why does he treat me like I matter so much?
I didn’t know the answer and somehow, that scared me more than anything else.