Getting What You Give

Getting What You Give
The Next Morning

Cayden nuzzled into Anastasia’s neck as the bubbles from the bath tickled her nose. Laying with her back on his chest, she giggled. “Are you planning to keep me hostage in the bath all day?”

“Maybe,” he replied, kissing her cheek. “I’m just really happy.” Pausing, he pulled her closer. “It felt as if I was losing you, and now I know everything between us is okay. I really needed to know that more than I admittedly let on.”

Nodding, Anastasia processed his words. “I’m sorry I pushed you away,” she said.

Cayden tilted her head upward and took her lips. After a moment, he released her and looked her in the eyes. “I’m happy that you’ve opened up to me. It puts a lot in perspective now. I wish to be there for you, and I need you to know that I adore you, even more today than I did when we first met. You mean the world to me, and it’s important that you know that.”

She sat up and caressed his face, understanding what wasn’t spoken. “You mean the world to me, too, and it’s important to me you know that as well. I want to be there for you, and I appreciate just as much that you’ve opened up to me.” His bright smile made her heart flip, and she laid back against his chest. “I love you,” she whispered.

“And I, you.” He felt her fidget against him. “What’s wrong?” When she paused, he sat her back up. “We promised we’d talk to one another, remember? Even about the things that cause us pain.”

Biting the side of her cheek, her eyes watered. “I’m pregnant,” she said slowly, and she watched as his eyes widened. Inhaling sharply, she refused to look away, pushing herself to do what they’d promised one another. “How do you feel about that?”

“Happy, hopeful…” He turned away, the sadness in her eyes becoming too much for him to see. He whispered, “Afraid, and worried for you.” She covered her mouth, and Cayden immediately regretted that he’d admitted the truth. She grabbed him and hugged him tightly. “I didn’t mean to make you sad,” he said.

She shook her head. “You didn’t. I’m happy that you told me. I feel the same. I’m worried for you, too.” Releasing him, she placed his hands on her slightly protruding stomach. “But no matter what, we’re in this together,” she said.

He nodded. “Till death do us part. Then we may have to renego—” She punched his side, and he laughed. Clasping her face, he gave her a smile. “We’re in this together, no matter what,” he murmured before kissing her deeply.

Hearing the reassurance of his words, Anastasia felt the fear she’d been holding in slowly subsided. Nestling in closer to him, she closed her eyes as his hands roamed the curves of her body. “I’ve missed you in more ways than one,” she murmured, and he kissed her cheek. Saying nothing, he slid his hand up her thigh, and she let out a deep breath. Cayden’s fingers found the fold of her thighs and she opened her legs, allowing him entry. Moving upward, they landed against her clit, and he began to gently tease her.

“Stasia,” he whispered against her skin, “I don’t want to rush you into anything you still may be hesitant about, but I have to admit, hearing your climax has become one of the things I’ve missed the most.” He increased his pressure, and he heard a loud groan in response. Slipping a finger inside her, he worked against her spot. His other hand massaged her breast, and Anastasia gripped her nails into his sides. A small whimper escaped her mouth as she climaxed against his fingers. Removing them, Cayden kissed her cheek again.

Turning to face him, she bit the side of her lip. “I’ve missed the sound of your climax as well,” she said. Reaching under the water, she wrapped her fingers around his shaft.




Exiting his and Anastasia’s bedroom, Cayden ran into his brother. With a big grin on his face, he saw Kano roll his eyes. “Oh, don’t be jealous, Adam. I’m sure your five-year itch will be scratched soon,” he said, smirking.

Kano cocked his head back. “Why do you have to make everything sound so vulgar?”

“Because sex is vulgar!” He made a dirty face. “If you’re doing it right.” He patted his brother’s shoulder. “Here, do me a favor. Replay any of the sexual excursions you had with Luna—remove the romantic mental music that somehow seems to play, and see what you’re left with.” Before he could stop himself, a moment popped into his mind, and Kano’s face turned almost purple. Cayden sneered. “That filthy, huh? You beast.”

Balling his fist, Kano exhaled to keep from hitting his brother. “I take it your talk went well?” he asked, regaining focus.

Cayden gave him a serious look. “Mhm, she finally told me about the baby.”

“Good, good. I’m glad that your wolf picked up on it, and even happier that you waited until she came to you.”

“Yeah, after everything we’ve been through, I think in a way it linked us more.”

For the second time in their conversation, Kano couldn’t help but feel jealous. Though he was ecstatic for his brother, it made him think about his own mate. The fact her wolf shut him out, and kept Kanon a secret, and how even after their talk last night, he still felt there were things he needed to say. For all the times he heard their link was unusually strong, he couldn’t help but feel there was something still missing.

Cayden shook his head. “Don’t,” he said.

“What?”

“Don’t compare.”

Kano turned his face. “It’s hard not to.”

Nodding in understanding, Cayden folded his arms. “Do you remember the first time around when our pack found out you were a red wolf? The fear of their reaction followed you all the way into adulthood. It shaped your every decision, and took a lot of things away from you, didn’t it?” Kano nodded. “Now, imagine the fear of knowing trouble was coming, and having to make the choice between revealing yourself or protecting your pup and mate. Imagine having to choose between breaking your mate’s heart or watching them die, knowing if you chose the latter, you could have prevented it. That’s a tough decision for anyone, but especially for a wolf who is newly turned, pregnant, and very sick. Give her the type of love and understanding that you’ve been given these new years, Kano, because something tells me you’re about to be out of sync with your wolf again.”

As soon as the words fell from Cayden’s lips, Kano felt his wolf lurch forward.

“She protected our pup and us, that’s what matters,” it said.

It was then that Kano understood what was really hurting him. He looked at his brother. “I’ll talk to her more tonight,” he said.

“Good.” He tilted his head and then let out a smirk. “Now, if you will excuse me, I’ve been summoned to remove the romantic mental music.”

“Why would you put that trick in my mind?!” Kano shouted. “I’ll never hear romantic mental music again now, thanks.”

Whistling, Cayden smiled as he walked away. “You won’t need it. Once you and Essence are on the right track, a rave could be happening in the background, and you wouldn’t give a damn.”



Some Time Later

Anastasia rubbed the back of her neck nervously as she waited for Essence. Having fixed things with Cayden, she worried how their conversation would go. Seeing her come down the steps, she hesitated until Essence rushed and gave her a big hug.

“Let’s go for lunch,” Essence said.

“Okay,” Anastasia replied, returning her embrace.


Eventually, the two found themselves sitting in a restaurant for lunch, falling into an awkward silence as neither of them touched their meals. Essence let out a loud sigh. “I know I said it before, but I’m really sorry, Ani. There is so much I regret, but the fact that I left you breaks my heart every time I think about it. I can’t stop thinking about how I hurt you the way I did.” Her hands shook slightly. “I abandoned you—there’s no way around that. I just hope that with time you can trust me again because I want to be there for you. I know we can’t go back to how we were, b-but maybe we can eventually get to something even stronger.”

Anastasia stared at her in silence, and then she stood and made her way to her side of the table. “Move over, E.” She sat down when Essence did, and leaned her head on her shoulder. “I don’t resent you. I think about everything I’ve been through and everything you’ve been through, and I realize that we’re just trying our hardest to protect ourselves, and those who love us.” She nudged her. “But maybe it’s time we both let those who want to take care of us do so.” Lifting her head, she looked at Essence. “I want to know how I can help you. I want to know more about your MS, and any other things you want me to. I love Kanon to pieces and would be honored if you allowed me to babysit, especially if it means giving you rest.”

Essence wiped her eyes and nodded. “I want to do the same for you, Ani. Whatever you’re willing to share.” She gave her a tearful laugh. “You already know I’ll kick someone’s ass for you, but I also want to be there for you in any way that I can, even if it means just listening.”

Anastasia smiled. “Well, considering I’m pregnant…”

“Oh my God!” Essence shouted, causing the patrons of the restaurant to jump. She growled. “Mind y’all business, I’m happy as fuck for my friend.”

Anastasia pointed her finger at the sky. “Best friend. Don’t demote me,” she said.

The two embraced, and then Essence released her. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Nervous, but excited. Cayden and I spent the entire night talking and this morning… reconnecting.”

Essence cackled. “My, my, I believe you potentially wore a certain beta out.”

Anastasia belted a laugh. “De-fluffed the hell out of his pompadour.” She shook her head in amusement. “Seriously though, I’m going to need your support through this. I’m not exactly sure what that looks like but—”

“We’ll figure it out along the way. I got your back, no matter what,” Essence said, smiling.

Anastasia gave her a grin in return. “Same.”
Clearing her throat, Essence shrank into the seat. “This might not be the best time to tell you this at the risk of officially pissing you off, but I’m going to tell you, anyway,” she said.

Anastasia arched her brow. “What is it?”

“YouandCaydenareKanonsgodparentsdontbemadIdidn’ttellyoualready,” she blurted.

Anastasia’s nose flared. “What?!” she shouted, causing everyone to look at them. She growled. “Mind your damn business! I’m mad at my friend!”

Essence shrank further. “Best friend. Don’t demote me.”

Folding her arms to her chest, Anastasia glared. “Why wouldn’t you tell me already?! I could have had manis and pedis lined up for us!” She pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from her bag and began to write. “We need to redo her room... what does she like... never mind, I’ll ask my goddaughter, myself. Okay, so she needs to be enrolled in school. You and I can do that on Tuesday, and then, oh! I want to take her to get a new wardrobe that will match the new—”

Essence threw up her hands. “That’s why I didn’t tell you, yet! You’ve already mentally spoiled her! Your ass over there making a damn list!”

“That’s my job!” She grumbled under her breath. “At least let me get her, her own personal horse and carriage.” Seeing Essence cut her eyes, she whined. “Fine! You should know, though; Cayden is going to be so much worse than me. He’s already taken to being an uncle. You know he escorted me out of the living room the other day? Apparently, he and Kanon already have tea dates, and I’m not invited.”

“It hasn’t even been a week!”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You think I just gave you a glare? You’re going to get the cold shoulder from him for at least a month.” Pausing, she looked at her pensively. “Why didn’t you make Gregory her godfather?” she asked.

Essence avoided her eyes. “It was important to him that it was Cayden. After I gave birth, I got really sick, and he made it clear that he wasn’t leaving my side, no matter what. It took an emotional toll on him as well, and there were many days I worried he would relapse in his sobriety. That’s what prompted the letters. If I died, Greg knew it would be the trigger that sent him over the edge. He was afraid of where that would lead him, and what would happen to Kanon, so we made a plan. With you and Cayden as her godparents, Kano would have support, and we knew Kanon would be okay.”

Anastasia’s eyes teared. “Oh…”

“Gregory really has changed. He saved me and Kanon so many times. It really makes me happy that Rafael is giving him a chance.” She froze, hearing Gregory link to her.

“Hey! Can you get to Rafael’s shop?! I’m freaking out, and I need your help!”

“Coming!”

Alerting Anastasia, the two paid for their uneaten food, and quickly left.