Chapter 70

Bella.

Daniel's question kept echoing in my mind, and I couldn't shake it off since I left his office. I had managed to dodge the question during our meeting because I didn't know how to respond. But now, as I replayed it over and over in my head, I realized I needed to find my own answer before facing him.

The reason I couldn't provide an immediate response was that I was still unsure about my own feelings. I didn't want to give him a reply that could either encourage false hope or discourage him, signaling disinterest. I also couldn't deny that there was an attraction between us, and unexpectedly, I felt protective of him. However, these emotions were still uncertain and I couldn't be certain of their authenticity based on my confusing state of mind.

I felt the need to confide in someone, to seek clarity about my emotions, and also determine if I was ready to pursue anything further. After my previous relationship ended poorly, I had vowed not to rush into another one solely based on fleeting emotions. It was crucial for me to be certain about a person's genuineness.

"Are you going to continue standing there like a statue, or will you come inside where you're supposed to be?" Nelly's voice snapped me back to reality.

"How long have you been standing there, observing me?" I inquired, puzzled as to how I hadn't noticed her presence right in front of me.

"I was actually heading outside to fetch something when I noticed you standing here. I wanted to greet you, but you seemed lost in thought and completely oblivious to my presence for nearly three minutes. Is something bothering you? You appear deeply absorbed in something," she asked, and I let out a sigh.

I was in desperate need of someone to talk to, and there was no one better than Nelly. She had a reputation for being brutally honest, always telling me what I needed to hear rather than what I wanted to hear.

"You mentioned going outside to get something, right?" I asked.

"Yes, but if you need to talk, just let me know, and I can postpone my errand," she replied.

"No, you don't have to do that. I actually want to talk. You understand the situation and the person involved, so let's go out together to get what you need, and afterwards, we can find a place to sit and have a drink. That way, I can freely express my thoughts without any worries," I suggested.

I no longer felt comfortable discussing Daniel at home because Nina always seemed to overhear our conversations. If she caught wind of Nelly and me discussing the person she despised the most, it would only provoke her and cause unnecessary trouble.

It was disheartening to realize that I had to be cautious about what I said in my own house. However, for the sake of peace, I was willing to compromise and set aside my anger. I didn't have the energy to engage in a fight, and preventing the situation was far better than having to handle the aftermath.

"I understand your concern, but you shouldn't have to censor yourself in your own home just because of someone who can't mind her own business. You look exhausted, and I don't recommend going out. In my opinion, let's stay here and have an open conversation about whatever is troubling you, without worrying about anyone else," Nelly replied, rejecting my suggestion.

She wasn't wrong about me being tired. I had a lot on my mind, and it had been quite a day. However, I didn't want to add more problems to my plate.

I was already burdened by my issues with Daniel, and I didn't want to deal with Nina's problems on top of that.

I still wasn't sure how things would be resolved between Nina and me. We couldn't keep fighting indefinitely. Sooner or later, one of us would need to let go of our pride and initiate a conversation to sort things out and move on from this toxic phase we were going through.

"I'd prefer going out to have a comfortable conversation. I can't bear the thought of being interrupted by her. I know she has no right to make me feel uncomfortable in my own home, but it's not just about her. It's also about my own well-being. Plus, I could use a drink to help me loosen up and clear my mind," I explained.

She eventually agreed, and Nelly quickly went back to her room to grab a jacket.

Nelly and I had already gotten what she needed, and now we were at a nearby bar. I didn't want us to go too far as it would only add to my exhaustion. So we decided to stay here and ordered simple drinks, allowing me to gather myself and prepare to express what was on my mind.

"What's going on with you, Bella? You look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders," Nelly asked, and I let out another sigh, feeling the weight of my troubles.

"You'll probably laugh at me because my issue doesn't really qualify as the world's problem, but today I feel incredibly confused. I don't know how to comprehend my emotions or even understand how I feel," I explained.

Nelly looked confused but remained silent, giving me space to continue speaking.

"Earlier today, I found myself in a confrontation in Daniel's office. That girl who is trying to force him into marriage showed up and embarrassed herself in front of me. She even insulted Daniel. Without realizing it, I became defensive and went as far as claiming to be his girlfriend just to get her off his back," I blurted out, causing Nelly's eyes to widen in shock.

She seemed eager to ask me numerous questions, but she restrained herself, urging me to keep talking. I assumed she would save her questions for later, once I had poured out everything on my mind.

"I claimed to be his girlfriend and then impulsively pulled him in for a kiss without considering the consequences. I have no idea how everything escalated to that point. But I noticed a strange look on Daniel's face, and I could tell he was upset. Strangely, his anger fueled my own," I continued.

"I just wanted to protect him from the emotions he was experiencing. It felt unfair that he had to endure her nonsense. I defended him and confirmed my feelings for him. However, now I'm unsure if my feelings are strong enough for a relationship or if they're simply a response to his attention," I explained, my voice filled with uncertainty.

Nelly wore a perplexed expression, and I couldn't blame her. I was equally confused, and I didn't expect her to grasp what I myself couldn't comprehend.

"Everything you just told me is quite confusing, and I can't claim to fully understand it. However, I do grasp the gist of it, and I'll work with what I understand to have a meaningful conversation with you," she said.

I took a sip of my drink and refocused my attention on her. "So, how did you manage to understand? Do I sound childish? Do you think my feelings for him could be genuine?" I asked.

"I believe you and I both know that the only person who can answer that question perfectly is yourself. You need to genuinely ask yourself how you truly feel about him and what you genuinely desire from your relationship with him," she replied, and I wearily shook my head in response.