Chapter 257 Don't You Want This?
Ethan sat across the room. His green eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that made my skin prickle. After his declaration, we fell into a loaded silence.
I could read the conflict in his eyes. The fear that I might vanish the moment he looked away. The desperate hope that I would stay. The raw need that he tried so hard to hide behind his composed expression.
Ethan thought we were at an impasse. He had no idea I'd already surrendered.
I rose from the armchair, feeling his gaze follow my every movement. His body tensed, preparing to stop me if I headed for the door. Instead, I walked to the window and pushed it open, letting the cold night air rush in. A fine winter rain was falling, transforming the parking lot lights into blurry halos.
I extended my hand outside, catching raindrops in my palm. The cold water pooled in my hand, reminding me I was alive. Really alive. Not just surviving.
Ethan's footsteps approached, slow and measured. He stopped beside me, close enough that I could feel his warmth without our bodies touching.
In the distance, church bells began to chime, marking midnight.
"Ethan," I said softly, still watching the rain collect in my palm. "Happy New Year."
Ethan didn't speak. Instead, he leaned down and pressed his lips gently against my temple—a tender gesture that was somehow more intimate than any passionate kiss. His restraint was palpable, his movements careful and controlled.
I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was the bells, or the rain, or the weight of all I'd revealed to him. Maybe it was simply because I wanted to.
I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss unlike any we'd shared before. No hesitation, no testing the waters. Just raw hunger and need.
Ethan froze for a split second before responding with equal fervor, his hands finding my waist. But even as he kissed me back, I could see concern flickering in his eyes—worry about my injured shoulder.
We stumbled backward until my legs hit the edge of the bed. I pulled him down with me, my body arching against his as I continued to kiss him with an intensity that surprised even me. My usual self-control had evaporated, replaced by something primal and demanding.
Ethan's breath came in short gasps as he matched my passion, but I could feel his restraint, his careful avoidance of my injured shoulder. Even now, he was thinking of my wellbeing.
I reached for the buttons of his shirt, my fingers working to undo them. Ethan caught my wrists gently but firmly, pulling back just enough to look into my eyes.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice husky but clear.
I met his gaze steadily. "What does it look like?"
His eyes searched mine, his brow furrowing slightly. The heat in his expression gradually cooled, replaced by something more serious. "You know what I mean."
"Don't you want this?" I challenged.
"Yes," he admitted without hesitation.
I leaned up to kiss him again, but this time he didn't respond. He simply allowed it, unmoving.
I pulled back, finding his eyes filled with a hurt that confused me.
"Tell me," he said softly but seriously, "are you doing this because you love me and want to commit to us, or because you think you owe me and plan to disappear afterward?"
I stared at him. "Does it matter?"
"It matters enormously," he replied, his tone leaving no room for argument. "If it's the first, I'll be ecstatic and completely receptive. If it's the second—" a slight, roguish smile touched his lips, "—I'll only accept the first part, not the disappearing act."
His expression turned serious again. "If I can't have both, I'd rather stop here. I'm perfectly content to maintain this ambiguous relationship with you forever if that's what it takes."
He released my hands and gently touched my flushed cheek, placing a light kiss on my lips before pulling back. His voice was calm again, the businessman back in control.
"Jade, if you think I only want your body, or that I'd accept you using your body to repay me for my feelings, you severely underestimate me. It's also an insult."
I fell silent, staring at him.
Looking at his righteous expression, I felt uncharacteristically awkward. "You're such a pain," I muttered.
I lowered my head and simply laid down on his chest, pressing my cheek against his heartbeat. Ethan wrapped his arms around me, one hand resting protectively on the back of my head, tenderly stroking my hair.
The suite was quiet except for our uneven breathing.
After a long silence, I suddenly spoke. "You're bad at business, Mr. Haxton."
I stared blankly ahead, listening to his strong, steady heartbeat in my ear.
Ethan tightened his arms around me. "You were never a transaction to me. We will never be a business relationship."
He pulled me closer. "If we're calculating gains and losses, I'm already the winner here."
I shifted slightly to get more comfortable, immediately hearing him say in a strained voice, "...Don't move."
Ethan had his eyes closed, his handsome face tense, veins visible at his temple. His voice was tight with restraint: "You got a bit carried away earlier."
His reason had returned, but his body clearly hadn't calmed down yet.
I heard myself let out a small, mischievous laugh.
"Need any help?" I offered helpfully.
Ethan's reply was strained: "...No, I'll handle it myself."
I raised an eyebrow, apparently picturing something specific. "Handle it yourself? Should I give you some privacy? Or do you want to use the bathroom?"
Ethan caught my misunderstanding and opened his eyes to look down at me. "What exactly are you thinking?"
I was direct: "Mr. Haxton, there's no shame in addressing physical needs. Nearly every adult male uses that method."
Ethan: "..."
He turned the tables: "Miss Morgan seems quite knowledgeable."
I shot back: "Mr. Haxton must be truly frustrated to forget I'm a doctor."
Ethan: "..."
"Sure you don't want help?" I pressed.
I was clearly teasing him now.
I expected another refusal, but Ethan said through clenched teeth, "Considering your shoulder injury, I'll take you up on that offer next time."
Then he pulled the nearby blanket over me.
I don't know how much time passed when I heard Ethan exhale deeply. His tense body gradually relaxed, apparently finally regaining his composure.
"Calmed down now? That took a while," I teased, my voice lazy with encroaching sleep.
"I'm fine now," Ethan responded evenly.
I tugged at the corner of my mouth, examining his expression skeptically. "Really?"
Ethan looked into my eyes, and his breathing immediately grew heavy again. He promptly wrapped the blanket completely around me, covering even my head.
He took several deep breaths and finally exhaled slowly, his taut abdomen finally relaxing. He pulled back the blanket covering my face and looked down at me.
"Are you... feeling uncomfortable anywhere?" he asked, carefully brushing aside the strands of hair that had fallen across my face, tenderly arranging them.
I gave him a smile that wasn't quite a smile. "I'm fine. Really," I said, pointedly echoing his earlier claim.