Fear

Fear

Chapter Eighty-Five

Lucian didn’t get the chance to respond when Artemis snatched the phone from him and turned it off. 
“What the hell are you doing?” Lucian asked. “That was your father.”
“Oh, I am very aware,” Artemis huffed. “But we are going on a trip and we don’t need anyone ruining things for us.”
His confidence was cute, but very concerning as well. Trevor was a dangerous man who struck without second thoughts when he felt he was getting played. 
They couldn’t just ignore his call. 
“He knows about us,” Lucian told Artemis. “i’m not sure how he found out, but he knows and he is not happy about it. Hanging up on him will only make things worse. I need to talk to him and…”
“And what?” The boy cut in. His expression hadn’t changed even after Lucian’s revelation. It was more like he didn’t care what his father had to say but Lucian knew that was very far from the truth. The look in those grey eyes was not non-chalance. He was terrified and trying to avoid it, as always.
“Artemis…” Lucian was cut off by the vibrating phone in boy’s hand. His fingers were trembling and the man knew it had nothing to do with the ringing. “Let me have it.”
“No,” Artemis declined the call right there and blocked the number. Lucian swallowed back a groan. “We are not cancelling our trip to explain anything to anyone. If he has a problem with us being together, he can suck it up.” 
Lucian stared at him for some seconds before smiling, “Why not let me tell him that? Are you afraid I would deny you?”
Artemis looked out the window. “That’s not the point.”
“Look at me, Art,” Lucian’s gentle voice tugged on the emotions he was trying hard to keep together. His breathing became uneven.
Slowly, Artemis turned his head. The confidence he had been wearing moments ago was gone, leaving behind nothing but fear. His eyes were watering fast. He did not want this conversation to happen. He wanted them to ignore it and just live in their happy bubble. If they didn’t face, it would eventually disappear on its own. 
"You think I'm going to leave just because he tells me to?" Lucian asked quietly. “Or that he’ll fire me and everything will end?”
Artemis bit the inside of his cheek.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"My father..." Artemis let out a shaky laugh that held no amusement. "He has a way of making people do what he wants."
Lucian reached for his hand but Artemis moved, refusing to let Lucian touch him. The action made both their hearts ache.
“Promise me…” Artemis breath came out shaky. “Swear to me… we’ll enjoy these two weeks to the fullest. We won’t think about my dad. Or the future. Or if we can be together or not. You’ll love me and… and just love me…”
Lucian couldn’t bear to see him look like this. Scared and fragile. He genuinely didn’t believe that Lucian would go against Trevor for him. He wanted to pull him into a hug and confess his feelings all over again until Artemis believed him.
But it felt like a huge wall was between them. One he couldn't break through by just wanting to.
“I promise,” Lucian nodded, swallowing his hurt. “Do you believe me?”
The uncertainty in those grey eyes made his heart ache. Artemis was drifting from him again. He didn't know what to do. He didn’t know how to assure him.
“Artemis I…”
“I believe you,” Artemis reached for his hand but the feel was different. It felt almost empty and the realization burned deep into Lucian’s bones. Artemis was the one asking them to forget everything but the boy couldn’t even do the same. 
Lucian gulped, feeling his throat tighten. Why were they falling apart even before Trevor gave the verdict? It was not fair. He'd spent weeks working for this chance and now, it was crumbling all over again. 
“Can I hold you now?” His voice came out raspy, heavy with emotion. “Please…”
Artemis nodded, forcing a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. The problem wasn’t Lucian. He wasn’t stupid enough to doubt the man's love after all the time they spent together. 
The problem was the choice waiting for him to make. The fiance he was bound to marry whether he liked it or not. Lucian knew nothing about Melinda. He just thought she was a harmless student. 
He couldn’t even imagine the look in those blue eyes when Lucian eventually discovered the one he was going to choose…
Wasn’t him.