Chapter 98: Oud Living in the fear but I'm still here. Wishing I had a life to steer, but I'm still here. Jake's voice gently faded with the music, as he raised his hand away from his guitar. He was standing so close to the mic, his other hand brushed up against it, sleeve rolled up to his elbow showing the dark lines of his tattoos. Jake's eyes were closed as he poured his heart out. Here. The room was crowded but the crowd was silent. The spotlight on Jake made him look vulnerable and empowered at the same time. He was handsome, and even though he and Luke were so insanely different, I could see the family resemblance. We listened to the song fade, and immediately after the music ended, I sat up on the bar stool and clapped loudly. There was an echo and a bit of a time lag before the wider applause joined in, but I went with it. Jake opened his brown eyes, almost like he was surprised people listened, and spoke into the microphone. His voice sounded nervous, so different to the way he had just sung. "Uh, thank you." The applause got louder, with some wolf whistles thrown in. Jake looked down at his guitar and the pick in his fingers. He clutched it tightly before exiting the stage. I searched for Luke's reaction. Jake had sung about me once before, and that didn't go down well with Luke. I couldn't be sure this song was about me, but some of his lyrics felt very close to our situation. "Where's Luke?" I asked, scanning the area where I saw him last. Luke stands out in a crowd; it usually takes me a couple seconds to spot him. Last I saw him, he was by the door with his sophomore friend. They had been talking before Jake started singing, but... I couldn't see either of them now. "Do you know where Luke is?" I asked Austin, who'd been sitting next to me during the song. Austin was asking the bartender for another round of water. On the rocks. The bartender playfully rolled her eyes but obliged, adding a cherry in there for visual effect. Austin cheekily grinned and raised his glass to her. He then answered me, "Luke's not here? He's probably crying outside over Jake's song." "That's exactly the kind of thing Luke would do," I replied sarcastically. "Wasn't it just a few months ago that Jake sang about you?" Austin asked, trying to rack his memory for that last time, "We haven't come far since then. At least Jakey improved his songwriting." My phone buzzed and I looked down, hoping it was Luke. Unknown number. It's Cearra, don't reply to this number. I stole my dad's phone and I'll delete this message so he doesn't see. 007 vibes over here. I'm sorry for what I said to you. You know how passionate I get about things and my words can come across harsh. Best friends need to stay honest with each other, but what I said to you wasn't right. I've done some thinking here in groundland and I realize that my HARMLESS crush on Luke has totally blinded me to any wrong he can do Her paragraph spilled into another text. You not idolizing him and not bowing down to his every action is what makes you a good girlfriend. I still think he is the hottest guy I've ever seen and I ship you both together. I'd probably go into mourning if your ship sinks, and sail off in a lifeboat, but I'm here for you no matter what. You're my friend and I should support that more. It's your call. And I won't judge it. I'll support it. Love you. I re-read the message and felt a wave of emotion at the last words. Love you. Cearra's friendship meant so much to me. I really wanted to text back, to send her a big virtual hug, but she told me not to. It was her dad's number anyway, which would be weird. I looked up to see Austin flirting with the bartender. The bartender had offered him the entire jar of olives, which was the most direct way to Austin's heart. I couldn't help but wonder about Austerra. Was there a chance? Someone called out for a drink on the other end of the bar. The bartender apologized to Austin and went to the customer. I glanced over at him a couple times. Maybe now's the time. "Austin? Can I ask you something personal?" "Sure." "Are you dating anyone?" "Millie, I'm flattered. But you're-" "No, no, noohoo!" I exclaimed, almost falling off my chair, "I didn't mean it in that way. I was just asking because I'm curious. Maybe you're not interested in anyone or maybe you're seeing someone," I said, rambling now that I was nervous, "And maybe I am really regretting ever bringing this up. I'm sorry." I can't believe I just asked Austin. I should take it back. Take it all back! Austin watched me nearly hyperventilate and said, "Millie, you're dating my best friend. You can ask me anything." "Ok." He smiled and answered the question, "I'm not in the headspace for a committed relationship. I'm keeping everything casual." Everything? As in, plural? I tried to find hope for my Austerra ship. "Maybe if you find someone you really like?" "Unlikely," he answered, rejecting that idea, "Now's not the time." When is? I can set a reminder on my phone. "I get it," I said, "You don't want to take on someone else's problems when you're still trying to go through your own." Though I joke about it, I definitely understood what he meant. It was something Luke and I were also facing. We both had our issues and trying to juggle them along with each other's... was extremely difficult. Austin shook his head, "More like I don't want to give anyone else my problems. How can you help someone else when you can't even help yourself?" Maybe I should ask myself that. Maybe that's what Luke already has. ** ~Luke's POV~ "Why can't you trace it?" I asked him. Roneal had come here just to give me disappointing news. He looked around the bar, trying to soak in his surroundings while thinking about how to phrase this next part. I don't have all day. "It's a burner phone number," he admitted. "Track it," I replied, "Your dad's a police officer. Can't you use localization?" Roneal nervously replied, "But then I'd have to get my dad involved." Why else does he think I tasked him with this? I've gone out of my way to befriend the worst sophomore player on our team because his dad's a police officer - and I need help finding a criminal. If Roneal thinks we've become friends out of the goodness of my heart, I don't know what basketball hit him in the head. Seems to be a recurring theme lately. He plucked at his braces nervously before saying, "Ok, I'll try again." "You do that." Roneal pointed at the stage, "Can I stay to watch the..." His words trailed off as I shook my head. I didn't need to say more. He understood and left. If Roneal doesn't pull through, I'll have to ask his dad, Officer Patel, instead. I thought today was the day I'd get the blackmailer's name. Maybe I needed to have a more serious conversation with that Julia girl. Just when I thought this day couldn't get worse, I watched Jake step onto the stage. My ears were about to be assaulted by another one of his screeching lullabies. I should've brought ear plugs. I don't know why people give that watermelon head any airtime. I looked over at Millie just as the lights dimmed and Jake started to strum his guitar. I wanted to hear her ordering me to be nicer to my brother. I wanted to feel her hand in mine. She was at the bar with Austin. Their backs were towards me as they ordered drinks. The only reason I came here was for her. So we could finally talk. But then, Jake decided to sing. Coming home but I don't want you here, All you do is bring back the fear,