Does he know how long I've waited for anyone to say those words to me? Does he know how crazy it is that they're coming from him? When we first met, I had wrongly judged him to be self-oriented and self-obsessed. He's shown me more compassion than my own sibling. "But tonight is new year's," Luke said, "And I don't know what you usually do, but I like to forget who I am and where I'm staying." He laughed at my expression. After my drunk behavior the other night, I didn't want to forget much again. If he forgets where we're staying, we're in trouble. "I'll write the address on your hand," I joked, pulling the zipper of his hoodie up and down. I liked being this close to his torso while I played with the zipper. ** Cearra's room was flooded with clothes. It was like her suitcase had exploded and I tried not to step on the carnage. The hangers and shelves in the wardrobe were empty. She was sitting on her bed with her laptop in front of her. "This trip has been incredible so far," she said, showing me the photos she'd taken. I hadn't realized, but Cearra's been setting up photoshoots all over Chad's villa. Some posed, others candid. "I like that one," I pointed to one of her and Austin in the pool. She showed me that same photo in three different filters. "I keep asking myself why he's so fun?" she sighed, "Usually, guys like him are the brooding types, but he makes laughter a medicine." "He does, doesn't he?" I agreed, thinking of all the times Austin has been there for others. She zoomed in on Austin's face and the contagious smile on his lips. "You know what I've always wondered?" I confessed, "It's embarrassing to say..." "Go ahead," Cearra urged me, flicking through some of the other photos while I spoke. "Luke works out everyday because he's trying to become a professional athlete," I said, "But Austin looks like that, just because." "Yeah. It's hot," Cearra said, looking away from her laptop, "I think tonight could be the night I tell him." "You're going to make the move?" I asked, getting super excited. "I'm not going to wait twenty years for this guy to kiss me," she answered, getting up, "I may need you to be my wing-woman. Oh, before I forget, you asked me to bring you something for Luke, remember? It's there." She pointed at the plastic bag resting near a standing lamp. She had already mentioned it to me already at the airport. Before I forgot again, I picked it up and thanked her. I'd wanted to surprise Luke with something tonight. Now I couldn't get my mind off the idea of Cearra and Austin. I knew they'd gotten along on this trip... but I couldn't believe they may be kissing for the first time on New Year's Eve. How romantic. I wanted to talk more about it, but the way she changed subject was enough of a hint that we should move on. "Last year I spent new years at a house party with LUCKY," Cearra reminisced, grabbing her make up bag from the bathroom, "It's crazy what can happen in a year." "Tell me about it," I said, sitting on the edge of her bed, "Last year I spent New Years' alone in my room and now I'm in Dubai with you, Austin... Luke." "Your boyfriend has got it going on," Cearra replied, waving a blush brush at me, "I know you don't like me saying this, but you must be nervous about tonight. I bet he's wild in bed, and we know you've made him wait." I get so awkward when she talks about him like that. Luke's so well known at school, people talk about him like he's public property – they're always describing him in such a physical way. How can everyone else know intimate details? "Are you nervous?" she asked me, washing her make up brushes. Yes. "A little," I answered, and added, "A little more than a lot." "You two have been dating for a while now," she said, "At least you're still going strong. He's not known for being monogamous." I stared down. Is he not? "Is it what you expected?" she asked me, "Dating Luke? I bet he's a lot to handle." I repeated her question in my mind, wondering what the answer was. "Maybe I fantasized it a bit," I said, "Before we started dating, I had a crush on him. I imagined us mostly making out, a little bit of drama, a lot of partying. And that's nothing like how we are." I'm just being honest. In my fantasies, I imagined a picture-perfect relationship with Luke. And that picture didn't even include a real me. Or a real him. "Fantasies usually don't involve a cold hard look in the mirror," I said, "We've got issues and a relationship can't ignore that. Perfectly happy all the time? Yeah right. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone needs to work on themselves." Working with each other, on each other, that's what I've learnt. He hangs around me in my bad days. And I hope I do the same in his. "But," I said, "I think reality can be better than a fantasy. You can appreciate the highs when you've experienced the lows." Out of nowhere, Cearra said, "People fight and break up, but it's that volatility which makes for really good s*x. If you're not doing it, then you're not taking advantage of his reputation." I ignored the part about his 'reputation.' "That just sounds unstable to me," I said, "Isn't really good s*x when you love someone? This idea of falling in and out of love-" "So you love him?" "That's not what I was saying." "But you're not denying it." Sh*t. I love him, don't I?