I guess I needed it after all. I thanked her, feeling heartened that she wasn't mocking me for my mistakes last night. I certainly was. I'd behaved like a pumpkin. As I drank the salty water, I saw Cearra enter the room with a blue box in her hand. "Mr Chadwick Sir," she said, offering him the box, "My mom wanted me to give you this as a thank you for letting me stay in your home." "That's very kind," he said, accepting the box. He placed it on the counter and opened it. We all peered out of curiosity. Chad came over from his favorite position on the couch. The present turned out to be a blue wooden horse with red, yellow and white designs on it. "Is it a decorative horse?" Chad junior asked and dug his hand into the box. He pulled out a card that Cearra's mom had written to his dad. Though no one asked him to, Chad read it out loud, "Hope this serves as a little reminder of home. Why is there a Swedish flag?" Austin grabbed his yogurt and made a quick exit. ** As everyone spread out of the kitchen like pollen, I walked down the hallway and up to my room. I heard footsteps behind me and turned around to see Luke. No one else seemed to be around. "What happened last night?" he called out to me. It felt reassuring to hear his voice. Confident, cool and a bit irritated – like he used to be when we first met. But I was not ready for this. "How should I know? I'm the hungover one," I answered, using my mistake as a scapegoat. I didn't want to relive the summer camp days of our arguing. He had disrespected me a few times back then and it's only after he stopped that we started to date. I'm sure Luke's memory vividly relived every torturous minute of last night. I seem to remember sitting in the middle of a club's dance floor eating a burger. This was not the right time for our conversation. My head was not functioning properly and there was no way I could keep up a rational conversation with him. I know we need to talk but my mind was in an absolute mess right now. "Don't run away from me, Minnie," he picked up his pace as I started to run up the stairs. I should really know by now that I don't have a single chance at outrunning Luke. -0.0000001% chance to be precise. And that's not even precise. "You're the one running!" I called out, swinging the wrong way down the hallway. Damn Chad and his massive house. The end of the hallway had a giant crystal encrusted mirror - and represented a dead end. "Let's talk," Luke said, standing at the entryway and effectively blocking off my exit, "It's obvious we need to." I know we need to, but I need to wait for the aspirin to kick in and to find the right words to express how I'm feeling. I really didn't want to get into a fight. "I'm feeling like the odd one out in this group," I said, giving it a go. "So maybe you can spend more time with me?" There we go. That's my attempt. "What do you mean?" he asked. I stood there in silence because I don't know how to explain what I mean. I'm not prepared for this conversation. Luke tried to get me to elaborate, "You and Austin are getting on, Oma's friendly, Chad likes you in his weird way and you have your friend, Cearra, on this trip who no one else knows," Luke went through the list, "It's only Bianca but she hasn't gone near you. I've kept my eye on her." "You should have your eye on me," I answered as reflex. Maybe that came out too harsh. It's so easy to say 'communicate' but when it comes down to the actual discussion, people end up just speaking at each other. The problem with us being so different is that Luke can't understand where I'm coming from. I can tell him 'I feel like I don't fit in' but his reaction would be 'so what'. For people who fit in so naturally, they don't understand why it's a big deal not to. I tried again. "You're right. Everyone, except for Bianca, has been kind to me. But feeling left out is about more than that. It's about how I don't naturally fit into conversation or a club environment. I'm out of my element here." "What should I do?" he asked, trying to figure out how he could make this better, "We're on vacation, the group likes you. What's there to stress about?" I just told you. Luke said, "If I spend every minute checking in on you, you'll feel suffocated." "You could pay more attention to me," I said, my voice fading into a bit of a whisper. "I'll feel more like myself when I'm with you." It was embarrassing to ask for attention like this. I also don't think I was making much sense. He sighed, "I left you for twenty minutes and when I came back you were wasted." Oh. No. The judgement. He was angry and we were just opening the can of worms, weren't we? Cearra came running down the hallway with a towel over her shoulder, "Beach! Get into your swimsuits, the cars are leaving in ten minutes!" I looked up at Luke and I felt his piercing blue eyes on me. I knew he could see the distress in my face. I'd made a fool out of myself last night, behaved like a sloppy drunk and now I was asking for more attention. I'd thrown up on my boyfriend and he wasn't even mentioning that. Bianca opened the glassed door from the outside where she had been tanning and walked up the stairs in her white bikini and matching wrap. "You two may want to change unless you like skinny dipping." "Not now Bianca," Luke snapped, "Stay the f*ck out of this." He was angry. No doubt about it. ** Luke and I agreed to pick this up again later. I hated the thought that we weren't seeing eye to eye on this. We'd barely started to talk and I hadn't heard his opinion on me last night before we were interrupted. But if he was angry, that got me angry. He can't get angry that I lost control last night. Wait until my hangover subsides and I'll go after him for that. Everyone was going to the beach and I wanted to tap out of that activity. I really didn't have the mental capacity for it, but Cearra convinced me to go. So, I wore my swimsuit under a pair of shorts and halter top. When I padded to the front door in my flip flops, I found Chad there in flippers. "I NEED BIGGER FINS!" he yelled out, raising his knees and testing his waddle. A maid came running from another room with a few more pairs of flippers. "What's going on?" I asked him, staring at all the flying flippers. "You don't have a scuba diving license, do you?" he asked me, trying on the next pair of flippers. "No, it was either the scuba license or my helicopter license, so..." I started to joke, but realized he wasn't joking. "OK, then you'll be in the snorkeling crew," he answered, grabbing his other diving equipment, "With Cearra, Oma and Austin." I took a minute to process the names he mentioned. "So that means you, Luke and Bianca will be...?" "Scuba diving," he filled in, like it was the most obvious thing. I faked a smile. "Perfect."