Chapter 18: Want a ride? No wonder Luke didn't care about his last basketball game. No wonder he was so relaxed about his homework getting crushed inside the broken laptop... He'd gotten college offers. Is it right he never told me? Maybe he texted me and I have no data again... still getting those candy crush notifications though. Or maybe he crafted a very long and elaborate text and forgot to hit send. Maybe he took a detour on the way to coach's house and ended up in Yakutat without cell service. Yeah, he just didn't tell me. I tried to not imagine Luke next year, in college somewhere far away. I didn't want to think about it. That's right, I've just developed a Peter Pan complex. "Hey Millie, it's not often I see you alone these days." Jake had just pulled up on his motorcycle. He took the helmet off his head and shook his hair. "Maybe that's a good thing. I'm practically a safety hazard," I answered, still standing outside his doorstep. He laughed and didn't disagree. He pushed his bike into his parking space on the driveway, before pulling the keys out. "I, uh, saw you wrote about a dead cat for English. That's a creative approach to the assignment." I was grateful he didn't ask me why I was standing outside his door. He probably knew why. "The teacher didn't really appreciate my emotion," I answered. He also probably saw the fat B- land on my desk, "What did you write about?" "I submitted one of my songs. Something I wrote a few months ago," he said. English class must be so easy for him. "Cool," I nodded and started to walk down the street. There was no need to loiter around the Dawson's house any more than I already do. "We don't really hang out, do we?" Jake called out to me. For real, does this guy not know how much trouble I've gotten myself into because of him? I am not proud of the way I handled our little love triangle. I like geometry, but not that much. "I'm with Luke..." "Trust me, I know. But it doesn't mean you have to run away every time I'm around," he said maturely. I slowed down and turned back towards him. He has never been anything but genuine and kind to me. He reached out with an offer, "We're all going to my dad's lake house this weekend if you want to come. I'm bringing a girl. Maybe Luke can bring you? It'd be fun." The lake house. Another thing Luke hasn't mentioned. "Sounds fun." Jake went into his house. I heard his mother's friends call out his name as he walked in. I tried to remember the last time my mom had friends over. Back when my dad still lived with us. She retreated from social activities after that. Life became a struggle. At our house, we don't set up fancy tea sets. Luke, Jake and Charlotte were lucky to have such present parents. Luke's dad was with him now, helping him make one of the most important decisions. College. In two years, where will he be? And where will I? ** I stayed up late to wait for Luke. I left my bedroom window open so it would be easy to hear him. But then I accidentally fell asleep in my bed with my laptop open. I don't know what time he came home, but I got a text from him at 12.07am. I only saw it the next morning, when I woke up: Hey Minnie, sorry for missing you. I've been at coach's house with my dad all evening Was Jamie there too? Legitimate question - it is her house as well. I texted back: I hope everything's ok Then I sent him a cartoon penguin emoji raising a thumbs up. Sometimes, I hide behind awkward and random moments to avoid revealing emotions. Or to get out of situations I don't want to be in. People don't question what they expect. I slipped my phone into my jean pocket and grabbed my backpack. This weekend, I was taking my SAT Math and English subject tests. Next week, I had a mathlete competition. My bag weighed heavy with all the books... ...A metaphor for the heavy weight on my mind. I doubled up on my regular coffee order at the Coffee Bean and stayed a little bit longer to study before first period. Without trying, what is my chance of getting out of this home? I don't know what schools Luke had gotten into, but I imagine somewhere good. His natural athletic abilities carry him through. When have they not? "Hey Millie, we should get going. First period is starting in thirty minutes." I almost imagined it was Luke's voice telling me that. But when I looked up, I saw Matt in front of me, taking off his apron. To say I'm surprised, is an understatement. Matt is a senior who never remembered my name, despite seeing me here every morning and dating my sister. Dated my sister; their breakup affected me too. He's written 'deluded', 'Matt' and 'Mandy' on my coffee cup. I looked behind me to see if there was anyone else he could be talking to. "Uh...sorry, what?" "Do you want a ride? Your car doesn't look like it can go much further," he offered. "Um, I think I'm ok, thank you," I answered, trying to keep the skepticism out of my voice. I closed my notebook. "OK, well then, I'll see you here tomorrow. I'll have your usual order ready for you," he waved goodbye, chucking his apron behind the counter. OK. Something is not right. ** I arrived at school just in time. I didn't drop off my books in my locker and headed straight to class. I was on my way when I bumped into a group of seniors hanging out together. They were outside the counselor's office. I tried to get through the group to make it to my class. "Millie," a girl's voice sang out my name, "Oh Millie." That taunting voice was one I remember hearing a lot during summer camp. It belonged to Stacey. The girl who teased me, called me a weasel and took a photo of me sleeping in my bra. It was the photo that sparked a lot of drama. She used it to cause Luke to dump Tamara. I had a flashback to hiding in the bathroom stalls at summer camp. I'd overheard her say: This convo isn't over by the way. Not until the summer starts going in the way we planned it to. I want to start senior year as Luke's side chick. That never happened. And I was worried by what she was capable of doing. "Millie, you've been a stranger these last few months," she said loudly, bringing a lot of the other seniors to focus their attention on us, "Remember this summer how your counselor had a little crush on me?" Malik had a crush on Stacey, which I think is like being possessed by a demon. "I think he was momentarily possessed," I mumbled. Did I say that out loud? "See, I told everyone it's true. Luke invited me to your cabin so often that the little boy developed a crush on me," Stacey answered. That was not true. Luke didn't... Where is Luke? These are his people. And his people have never been kind to me. Except Austin and Chad of course. "You know we had a lot of fun at camp, don't you weasel?" Stacey shoved me. I think that was meant to be playful. "Don't touch me," I told her. I don't know what her game is. Why is she calling me out like this? "Stacey, you should back up," Oma interrupted, "You've proven that you know Millie, but even best friends don't invade personal spaces like that." I saw the crew of seniors standing behind them, all watching me. "Thank you, Oma," I said. She was always the elegant one amidst the crazy mess of high school students. It was barely 8am and she looked put together, with earrings that matched her necklace, and a polished outfit. Oma said, "You probably have somewhere better to be." She's right. I have class. I took the chance to make my exit. I cast the wider group another look, before turning away. This incident combined with Matt's behavior from this morning... convinced me that something was not right. ** I went to the computer lab at lunch time. Joe was hanging out there and agreed to go over some math problems with me. It didn't last long when I saw my phone vibrate with three missed calls from Cearra. A text came through: Girl, you better pick up "Do you need to answer that?" Joe asked me. I nodded and walked out of the quiet computer lab in order to answer. "Hey, is everything ok?" I asked. Cearra said over the phone, "I imagine your head's been stuck in a book all day, but you're on everyone's radar. Where are you?" "I'm by the computer lab. Why?" "I'll come to you." We hung up and I stared at my phone for a second. I know something hasn't been right about today, but I didn't know why. I was almost fearful of what Cearra would say. Last week, it was a murdered cat. This week... But maybe Cearra really had my back. It's hard to develop trust in this school and in this town. But with Luke, Cearra, Austin and even Chad... I was beginning to get there. Speaking of the devil, strong arms wrapped themselves around me from behind. His hair tickled the cape of my neck as he bent his head to kiss my cheek. I don't know how he knew where I was. People talk about him so much that I feel like it's not hard to find him. But... He found me. Finally, we had a chance to talk. "Playing hard to get?" he whispered in my ear. I shivered, feeling my skin tingle. "Playing hard to forget." And here I was thinking we no longer play games.