52. Disaster pageant pt.4

*Thump-thump...thump-thump...thump-thump...*

Lydia could hear her own galloping heartbeat ringing in her ears as she stood there, on the wooden stage right between Sebastian and Lucy, along with other people from her class. Stiff. Unblinking. Her body shaking.

Lights blinded her, followed by a round of applauses. *Breathe...*

She swallowed, coaxing herself to breathe normally. Even though that painful lump kept returning into her throat every few minutes, making it so hard for her to focus and ignore it.

She forced herself to smile after Connie had said something that she definitely failed to even hear, another round of applauses following. Loud. Confusing.

*Breathe...in and out...in and out...* she instructed herself, taking small comfort in the feeling of her classmates' hands holding onto hers.

*You have to do this. You have to go on with the show. Act like nothing has happened*, her own mind suggested, forcing another smile to appear on her lips as she and Sebastian placed themselves into position, waiting for the music to play.

And as soon as the first key had been struck she fell in step with her partner, flawlessly executing every move they had practiced. She swayed and dipped in Sebastian's arms, moving with grace and determination as they danced together. He caught her and held her, their bodies in perfect sync like two flames kindled at the same time, portraying the epitome of their recital's theme; lovers persecuted by fate itself.

She crawled and mutely begged on her knees, using her body language and facial expressions. Feeling the push and pull of her peers whilst Sebastian -her lover- fought to reach her again. Desperately trying to get to each other, all those hands holding them down. Keeping them apart. Suffering and struggling against all odds. Fighting for their love...Enduring so much pain and torment...

*Kind of like in real life...* her mind whispered back to her as Sebastian's arms wrapped around her from behind at last, right as she turned and faced the piano. Her gaze casually meeting Julian's.

She thickly swallowed, the sounds of her own harsh breathing now reaching her ears as the music stopped. Her body remaining stuck in place.

Seconds passed, their gazes remaining locked onto each other. Even as that round of applauses erupted from behind her. Even as Sebastian's hands left her body.

She remained frozen. Her heart pounding inside her chest.

Darkness engulfed them. The sounds of voices coming from all around them. Talking. Laughing. But she couldn't move. She wouldn't. There was too much fear. Too much angst. Too much heartache.

She startled as a hand suddenly landed on her shoulder, snapping her out of that dismal trance.

"Oh my god, baby, you were such a vision. I almost cried looking at you," it was Lucy the one who spoke from right next to her.

She blinked, watching her come into view as another set of lights flicked on, enveloping them into a soft and diffused glow.

"Let's go change now, I am fucking sweating like a pig! I defo need a shower like, asap!"

She took little notice of the way that Lucy's hand wrapped around hers, her gaze returning to that spot by the piano where Julian was supposed to be. But he was nowhere to be found now.

**

She'd showered. Changed into one of her evening gowns. She'd even put on a fresh layer of make-up. Hiding. Concealing any trace of those few tears that fell into the shower. That inner grief. She had to go on. There was so much left of the day. So much more for her to silently endure. To power through. She had to be strong. For herself.

Raising her chin higher, she steeled herself into a mask of indifference. Her stance so poised and elegant as she gently held her dress with one hand and started to slowly descend the grand staircase, taking the steps one by one. Little by little. Heels clicking over the gleaming marble. Her gaze focused yet unseeing as she peered at the sea of people gathered at the very bottom. Oblivious at the way some of them gazed right up at her. Some of them harbouring jealousy. Some of them downright disdain whilst others regarded her with mere indifference. However, there was one meaningful gaze worthy of her attention. One that had stolen her breath so many times before. That had her tingling all over, and made her tremble with yearning. Forget that she was in a room filled with people. People who were watching her. And some of them him as well. People who happened to be her parents. And who had definitely noticed that exchange of longing glances between her and Julian.

But Lydia continued to look back at him. Too enticed to even notice. Too enchanted by his mere presence. The look of him dressed like that. Looking like the epitome of sin. She'd unintentionally matched his outfit, with a black gown of her own. One made out of soft velvet that hugged her torso and flared at her waist, a single slit showcasing her left leg with every step that she took. Criss-crossing black leather straps wrapped around the dress' corset, her shoulders and neck completely bare, save for that cross pendant that rested over her generous cleavage. She hadn't thought that she would match him so perfectly with this outfit back when she had chosen to dress like this. She'd only wanted to look elegant, to look the part since the committee had chosen to hold the pageant at such a fancy location.

And she was very much aware that now, because she was dressed like this she was doomed to face some serious consequences. She could feel it. Sense it in the air. The impending wrath of her mother. It was all over already for her. She didn't need to be a genius to realize that.

But she could at least save him. And she only needed to gain enough courage to tell him. About everything. About how she had lied to him, all this time.

**

Julian's heated gaze remained fixated on his enchantress, even as hers had already averted. She looked like a vision in that dress. A dress that happened to match his outfit so perfectly. She was a fucking goddess. A wet dream wrapped up in black velvet.

He continued to follow her with his gaze at first, watching as she passed him by. The shadow of her parents looming close behind. But that didn't hinder him and he continued to follow her instead, his legs carrying him after her even as she had disappeared in the crowd of people.

He'd yearned for her. Longed to see her again and those fleeting moments during the recital hadn't done anything to quench his unrelenting thirst. He wanted to touch her again. Listen to the sound of her voice. He wanted to hold her, if only for a moment. Tell her how beautiful she looked tonight. He wanted to smell her perfume again. The softness of her body against his.

He would've liked to dance with her tonight, if only for a few moments. Have her all to himself, to soothe his angst. His restlessness. It was no secret that he was already starting to grow weary of all that surrounded them. This shitty place itself. The forced smiles. Those judging whispers constantly slithering their way to his ears. All those stuck-up and fake rich-ass bitches surrounding them. That annoying group of girls who had been desperately following him around like a pack of dogs ever since he'd gotten here.

He was just tired. Overwrought. And he only needed a moment with her. His sweet addiction. The light of his blackened soul.