48. Hold me

*I love you...*

Those three words continued to replay into her mind like a broken record, increasing that hollow and painful sensation of loss after each time. She wanted to scream. Cry and mourn her broken heart.

It would've been easier if he would've just driven a knife through her heart instead of uttering those three words. Those three beautiful and equally dangerous words.

*I love you, Lydia...*

No. It hurt so much. It hurt so damn much, hearing him utter those three words to her in the throes of passion, making her feel so incredibly euphoric and yet so miserable at the same time. She just wanted to die right then and there.

"What's..." his voice shook. Gently holding her as he slowly pulled himself out of her, his gaze meeting hers. Displaying genuine guilt and worry as he peered between her eyes. The girl couldn't help but cry harder.

"Lydia, what's wrong? Baby, please talk to me," he desperately pleaded, horror creeping up in his widened blue eyes.

"Did I...hurt you?" His voice broke with that sentence, sending another painful jolt into her chest.

She immediately shook her head.

"No,"

But she couldn't stop herself from crying. It hurt so damn much.

She softly whimpered and sobbed, letting those tears fall even as he lowered her feet to the ground for a fleeting moment, right before he picked her up again, bridal style. He comfortingly held her to his chest, cheek resting against his firm pectoral as he carried her back into her bedroom.

He carefully placed her on her bed, leaving her there for a single moment only to return with a large white towel in his hand. He used it to wrap around her shivery body, his moves soothing and gentle. Only the very second his hands left her body again she shakily whimpered, her voice so quiet and pained as she weakly pleaded,

"Please...don't leave me," Those tears still trailing down her face.

He wrapped his arms around her body again, placing a sweet kiss over the top of her head.

"Never,"

They stayed like that for another few moments, the girl quietly crying with hitching sighs and sobs as he held her, resting her cheek against the middle of his bare chest. Revelling into the comforting heat of his body. His steady heartbeat.

They eventually lied down together, the girl nestling in between his arms again as she desperately needed that soothing sensation only his presence could provide. His warmth. His fresh soapy scent.

She'd longed so much for this. To have him in her bed. Wrapped around her like that. And now that he was here, she couldn't even properly enjoy it. She almost let out a stupid and hysterical laugh at the thought of that. Turns out that life was cruel like that sometimes.

She audibly sighed, her soft cries and whimpers finally quieting down. Those tears no longer trailing down her face. She closed her eyes, producing another hitching sigh as he delicately traced his fingers over her cheek, wiping away that lingering wetness.

"Please, just tell me what's wrong, sweetheart. Tell me how I can make it better," he softly whispered, making her feel that hint of guilt tugging at her. She forcibly pushed it away.

"Just hold me...please..." she quietly replied, moving to bury her face in the crook of his neck. No. She was not ready. Not yet. She was not ready to say it yet. To face that horrible truth. She just wanted to lie there with him, for as long as she could. Have him hold her like that, even if for only another second. Just a little bit longer...

"Okay..." she heard him utter with agreement, placing another kiss in her still wet hair. She heaved another sigh. Eyelids fluttering closed.

"You can tell me the truth, Lydia," he tentatively prodded yet again, tracing the back of his fingers over her bare arm into a small caress.

"I need to know if you've felt even the slightest hint of discomfort. I can-" she shushed him up with a sweet and lingering kiss on the side of his neck, lips brushing against his skin as she truthfully admitted,

"It was perfect, Julian,"

"The most beautiful moment I've ever lived in my entire life," she pulled back to look into his eyes as she said that, meeting his lost stare. Brows slightly furrowed as he searchingly roamed his gaze all over her features.

"You make me feel so...alive..." she couldn't stop herself from uttering that damning truth, the fresh memory of what they've just done into that bathroom replaying into her mind. Those incredible sensations...the feel of his body against hers, invading hers so intimately...brandishing her skin with his searing touch...filling her with his essence...

She immediately realized right then and there that he'd ruined her, forever to crave only for him. There was no other man for her, no other who could ever erase what he'd done to her. Those touches, those kisses, they were there to stay. Forever imprinted into her mind. Her skin. Her body.

She was his. Forever his like he'd yearned for her to be. His and only his.

She timidly rose that hand that was previously resting against his warm chest, moving it to softly caress his jaw.

His eyelids fluttered closed in response, blowing out a long exhale through his nose.

She let her gaze roam over his chiseled features, enticed by the way that he looked into that warm and diffused glow provided by her floor lamp. So innocent and yet so...sinful at the same time. So beautiful and enticing. She couldn't stop herself from pushing her body closer to his, her hand wrapping around the back of his neck. And after a bashful look into his eyes she tentatively pressed her lips against his, so eager to feel them again. To taste his sinfully delicious mouth.

He immediately responded, his hand moving to grip the side of her waist. Pulling her impossibly close as he deepened the kiss, his mouth moving so skilfully against hers. Letting his tongue dive into her, caressing her with passion and want.

She could feel her body heating up again so easily, yearning to be taken again. Her heartbeat moved to her nether regions, liquid heat licking at them. Stoken by a single kiss. His erection sprang to life, teasingly pressing against her thigh as he continued to kiss her so slowly. So incredibly erotic.

She whimpered into his mouth, pushing her lower body closer to his into a feeble attempt to feel some more. Have some more of him. He softly growled in reply, that hand that was previously holding onto her waist moving lower. Tracing the curve of her ass before taking a firm hold, his hips pushing up against her. Rubbing his hard member against her heated skin.

She mewled so wantonly, her hand moving to pry away that towel covering her body. Chest heaving as she broke the kiss and lied on her back, coaxing him to climb on top of her.

He carefully placed his arms either side of her, lying in between her legs. Their gazes met, the girl noticing that hint of hesitation in his eyes. Worry and uncertainty flickering within them.

"Please..." she breathlessly uttered, looking up at him with nothing but desperation and want. She ached, and she craved for him so much.

She even let her legs open wider for him, her pussy so wet and slick. Pulsing as it yearned to clench around his cock.

He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth, making her sigh so dreamily. He then buried his hands into her hair, proceeding to offer her sweet kisses and hot licks. Playful bites. On her jaw, her neck.

He slowly moved lower and lower, lovingly kissing and caressing every inch of her body. Sucking onto her peaked nipples. Licking the skin on her toned stomach. His hands kneading and caressing. Her breasts. Her hips. Her thighs.

He playfully flicked his tongue over her sensitive clit and Lydia couldn't help but cry out, eyes suddenly widening as they darted straight to the closed door of her bedroom.

Shit. Her parents! Her mind cried out with alarm, Julian's gaze trailing over her line of sight as he paused.

"I've locked it before entering your bathroom," he quietly whispered with a reassuring tone.

She quickly nodded in reply, her head falling back on the bed as she let out a long exhale. She had to be careful not to let out another loud sound like that one. The house was so quiet now. She couldn't risk having her parents hear her.

She watched Julian make his way back up to her, a sexy smile tugging at his lips as he simply watched her for a moment. She furiously blushed, affected by that tender and equally hungered look into his eyes.

Her lips parted, nipples brushing up against his chest with every heaving breath as she laid there, underneath him. Shivering from the anticipation. Body thrumming with want.

He descended upon her lips once again, offering her a slow and erotic kiss. And the very moment he started to carefully push into her her eyelids drooped, her breathing becoming more and more raggedy with every inch added.

Her arms automatically flew to wrap around his torso, nails digging into his back as he slowly slid all the way in. Finding that spot that made her melt and come alive at the same time. They both moaned in unison, their vocal expression of pleasure muffled by that passionate kiss.

He remained just like that for another moment, giving her time to adjust and get used to his size before he started to slowly move, performing lazy and punishing thrusts. Each hitting deeper than the last one.

The girl mewled and cried into his mouth, completely giving herself to the feeling. The pleasure. This perfect moment with him. She wanted nothing more than to just lie there underneath him, trapped forever into this moment. Forever stuck in his embrace. Surrendered into this intimate position. Claimed by him. Owned by his body.

They made love for a few more times throughout the night, enjoying each other's body and presence until they finally fell asleep, completely sated and thoroughly exhausted. Lydia lying in Julian's arms like she'd so yearned for so many times before. Feeling his powerful body against hers as they slept. His arms trapping her as if he were afraid that she would disappear if he ever let go.