Chapter 22 - Jack

Fatherhood was only partially an instinct. Jack remembered his first days spent with Rachael, his sister’s first child, and how difficult they had been. The transition between being a man and being a father was a difficult one to make.

Craig was traversing it expertly.

Every day he learned something new, and when Jack looked at him, he saw Craig stepping up to be the father Isaac needed. It fulfilled him in a way he couldn’t rationalize.

If what Lane said about mental attraction held its water, Jack was in deep.

With the help of some damp cloths to keep Isaac cool and the savior that was infant’s Tylenol, Isaac slept through most of the night. Craig and Jack camped out in the living room, both of them so wound up from Isaac’s suffering that they couldn’t bring themselves to go to bed. Jack drifted in and out of sleep all night, waking when Isaac cried. Every time he did, Craig was already on his feet and ready to tend to him.

Jack couldn’t have been more proud.

When the sun was too high for Jack to get back to sleep, he followed Craig upstairs and took Isaac’s temperature again.

“It’s 99.3,” Jack said. “It’s not a huge change, but I think his fever’s starting to break. You’ve got a little fighter on your hands.”

“I’m glad.” Craig stroked Isaac’s hair. “All I want is for him to get better.”

“You’re doing a great job.” Jack set the thermometer down. “Isaac couldn’t ask for a better father.”

“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself,” Craig said. “It’s you who’s the great father.”

“Mm, I disagree.” Jack set a finger on the tip of Isaac’s button nose, then refocused his attention on Craig. “I might know more than you, but the effort you’re putting in and your love for Isaac shows in the things you do. This lucky little guy has got a dad who loves him more than anything else in the whole wide world. I think that makes you a terrific father no matter how much you do or don’t know.”

The look of appreciation on Craig’s face was delicate, and Jack smiled in response. Maybe all they could be was friends, but that didn’t mean Jack couldn’t take pleasure in the small things. Making Craig happy made him happy. In another universe, in another time, theirs was a love that would last a lifetime. Jack was just happy that in his version of reality he still got to be friends with Craig.

Not every crush needed to turn into something more. Mental attraction or not, Jack could settle for friends. It would be hard—sometimes heartbreaking—but he’d do it. He’d stand at Craig’s side when he married the woman of his dreams, and he’d be there for when Craig’s next son was born. They’d fly out to see each other for a week in the summer, maybe. They’d go back to chatting through texts.

That was enough. Jack couldn’t ask for more.

“So,” Jack said, eager to distract himself from the look on Craig’s face. “If Isaac’s settled down, what do you want to do today? I slept like hell last night, but now that the sun’s shining, I doubt I’m going to be able to get back to sleep.”

“Nothing exciting,” Craig said immediately. “Maybe a movie on the couch?”

“Sounds perfect.” Jack looked back at Isaac. “Should we bring him to the cradle in the living room, or do you think he’ll be fine in his crib with the baby monitor on?”

“We’ll baby monitor it,” Craig said. “I don’t want to disturb him. Most times he’s good about noise, but if he’s already not feeling well…”

“Yeah, I got you.” Jack nodded. “Put him down and I’ll meet you downstairs, okay?”

“Sure.”

They split ways. As Jack left the room, he glanced at Craig from over his shoulder. Craig tended to Isaac with tremendous tenderness, and Jack smiled to himself. He headed downstairs and got Netflix set up for a movie.

Craig came down not long after. He tossed a washcloth in the hamper by the laundry room door as he passed, then settled beside Jack on the couch. It was uncharacteristic that they sat so close, but Jack wasn’t about to object.

“What do you want to watch?” Jack asked.

“Something funny and mindless,” Craig said.

“A comedy it is. Let’s browse. Stop me if you see something that looks interesting.”

Both of them got comfortable on the couch. Craig leaned back so that his shoulder blades rested on the arm of the couch, legs toward Jack. Jack curled up against the back of the couch and set his cheek on the arm rest. Their legs brushed.

Jack scrolled through the selections, attention elsewhere. The brush of Craig’s leg against his own captivated him. Jack knew it was innocent, but that didn’t stop him from imagining something more.

It wasn’t hard when they’d already spent a night together.

Jack remembered the soft hairs on Craig’s legs and the hard surface of his palms. He remembered the gradual taper of Craig’s hips and the narrowness of his torso. All of it was intoxicating. It felt like a dream.

Craig shifted on the couch. His feet bumped against the front of Jack’s thighs. Jack startled, but neither of them made a move to fix their newfound proximity.

Craig stroked Jack’s thigh.

At first, Jack was sure he was imagining it. They were only just getting settled, after all. Maybe Craig was looking for somewhere comfortable to rest his feet. But the longer it went on, the more evident it became.

Jack blinked. He stayed still as Craig’s foot stroked in slow back and forth movements. Then he cleared his throat.

Craig looked from the screen and at Jack.

“I, um.” Jack wasn’t sure how to put it without sounding insensitive. “I really appreciate what you’re doing, but I think maybe you should stop. It’s a sweet gesture after a really hard night, but if you keep doing that, I’m going to get the wrong idea.”

“What kind of wrong idea?” Craig asked.

The kind where I beg you for your cock.

“The kind where I’m attracted to you and doing that is going to make me think you want something more.”

Close enough.

Craig’s foot stopped. Jack knew he hadn’t meant it on purpose, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Craig and Isaac had become such integral parts of his life that he had a hard time separating himself from his mental image of their family.

Craig, Isaac, and himself. The three of them, happy and together.

Craig’s foot resumed stroking.

Jack parted his lips to speak, but he found nothing to say. He’d told Craig what his touch was doing. Craig understood. Jack hadn’t been beating around the bush or playing coy.

It was a statement.

Every caress of Craig’s foot was bliss. Jack was getting hard. It wasn’t that the touch was erotic, but the intent behind it was more than he could handle. Craig was touching him knowing what it would do to Jack. He was touching Jack knowing that Jack would beg him for more.

Craig wanted Jack, and this was his quiet way of saying it.

Jack picked himself up by the elbows. He sat, then set the controller for his Xbox aside and crawled across the couch until he was straddling Craig. Craig looked up at him, the kind of cocky smile on his face that made Jack’s heart race.

Their eyes met. Jack held his gaze.

Then Jack kissed him.

Their lips brushed, exploratory and uncertain. The tenderness of Craig’s kiss was spellbinding. Jack closed his eyes and kissed him back with lazy passion. There was nothing hurried or primal about the way they came together. This time around it wasn’t a race. What bound them wasn’t a temporary spike in arousal or a blinding need to be intimate. This time around what bound them was far less fragile.

Jack took advantage of it.

Craig’s lips parted for him. Jack let his tongue trail across Craig’s bottom lip, and Craig’s tongue rose to greet his. The kiss grew more passionate. Jack gave into it.

Craig’s arms wrapped around his back and tugged him down until they were chest to chest. Jack was certain Craig could feel his erection. He didn’t care. This was what Craig wanted, and it had always been what Jack wanted, too.

His best friend. His straight best friend.

It looked like Craig wasn’t so straight anymore.

Jack ran a hand through Craig’s hair, locking his fingers into it. He pressed his clothed erection down against Craig to find Craig was getting hard.

God, I can’t believe he’s getting hard for me. That’s so hot.

The kiss broke, but their lips remained close. Craig’s cocky grin returned.

“So,” Craig said. “What’s happening with that movie?”

“Fuck if I know,” Jack uttered, totally captivated by the insane chemistry between them. It sparked in the air and manifested as goosebumps down his arms. Being this close to Craig felt like fantasy. “Just… just kiss me.”

Craig obliged him.

Jack didn’t want to know what had changed. He didn’t care. All that mattered was that Craig was initiating intimacy and that he wasn’t pulling away.

Their lips locked. Jack moaned into Craig’s mouth, letting his fingers stroke Craig’s scalp. Craig’s hands strayed from his back. They followed the course of Jack’s spine to his ass. He squeezed.

This time around they had condoms. This time around they had lube. If this was going to go anywhere near where it had gone last time, Craig was going to own his ass.

Jack had never been so excited to bottom.

Craig pushed Jack down so Jack’s erection pressed against Craig’s. Craig was harder now than ever. The heat built between them. A chill raced down Jack’s spine, but not even that could dampen how hot he was for the man beneath him.

“Screw the movie,” Craig said as the kiss broke. His voice was deep with lust.

“Screw me,” Jack insisted.

“That’s the plan.”

Craig’s hands squeezed again, kneading Jack’s ass. Jack breathed out in delight and buried his head against Craig’s neck.

“Your room,” Craig said. “Let’s go to bed.”

Jack was up the stairs faster than he’d ever been before. Craig was right behind him.