CHAPTER 11
Nate sits beside Nana on the porch.
“What is wrong with you?” she demands.
“Why? Nothing at all Nana.”
“ Well then why are you so quiet. I’ve never seen you like this before. Are you bored of me? Do you not love me anymore? Is that why you don’t like talking to me that much now?”
“ You are being dramatic Nana.”
“No. You are being a pain in the ass. You must speak to me if something bothers you.”
“ Nothing bothers me Nana. I just.....” instead of completing the sentence, he lets out a big sigh.
“ Is everything okay with Mickey?”
“ There’s nothing okay about it.”
“What did you just say?”
“ Nothing. I said there’s nothing to worry about. “
“ What about the baby?”
“ What baby?”
“ You must have a baby before you both grow old. You are already thirty Jon.”
“ oh! Come on Nana. I can’t just decide to have a baby out of nowhere. There’s a lot that needs to happen before that.”
“ Like what?”
“ Like she needs to leave.”
“ Who needs to leave.”
“ I mean she needs to come if age Nana. She's too young to have a baby.”
“Since when a woman is too young to be married Jon.”
For the first time Nate feels strange listening to Nana's words. She's is not a commodity that could be used according to one’s wish. And the fact that Nana failed to understand that made him feel indifferent towards Nana.
Thinking of Michaela with a baby in her belly warmed his heart but then it also made him feel guilty. Because if that was to happen, it would be a reason for them to stay together. And it made him think selfishly.
No baby.
No baby.
No baby.
He repeated to himself.
“ The carnival’s coming. The horses need to be fed better for the cold.”
“ Steven is taking care of all that. Don’t bother yourself with all of that. You just need to take care of yourself.”
Cassy approaches the house with an empty water bottle in her hand, but as she notices him, she walks back to the field forgetfully.
“ I’ll go check on George. He hasn’t been eating much lately.”
Nate says, placing a kiss on Nana’s cheeks.
“ Bring Michaela with you for lunch.”
He looks for her in the stable and backyard but Michaela is nowhere to be seen.
He finds her idling away near the sea, throwing pebbles into the water. He joins her side.
“Missing your friend now, are you?”
He scoffs.
“I don't miss liars.”
“It's getting boring you know.”
“That's your problem.”
“Nate. You must forgive the ones you love, even when they don't deserve to be forgiven.”
“Right.”
“Steven told me. Your mother use to say....”
He turns to face her.
“what did she say.”
“ That if you hurt each other, it's not easy other that you hurt, but your very own self.’
She pauses.
“You refuse to listen to me, but won't you listen to her?”
She emphasizes.
“I can't hate her that's for sure, maybe when the time comes, I'll find the forgiveness in my heart.”
“Amen.”
“What are you doing here all by yourself ?”
“Just wondering why I did this to you and myself. I could have talked to you, spent time with you, dated you and if not even seduced you. What got into my head that I did this. I must be pretty dense to think that this was what I wanted.”
“ Are you disappointed?”
“In myself, yes!”
“ Well I was too. But I can’t deny the fact that you are the reason I got to unveil the truth. God knows how much more I would have insulted her, if it weren’t for you. And I will forever be grateful to you for that.”
He says, smiling towards Michaela. A tear twinkles in his eyes.