Chapter 819 Chapter 819
Rory stopped and looked behind her. Daisie said there was no way to get lost because of the fence. She told her if she wasn’t sure where to go, all she needed to do was find the fence and follow it to lead her back. Something about how confident she was told Rory that the girl spoke from experience. There were also cameras, so waving into them would bring help—according to Daisie.
Fences and cameras—she understood that safety was a priority with the number of children here, but they only illustrated to her how much freedom this clan didn’t have. What kind of life was this?
She couldn’t do it. Live inside a marked area, having to always look over your shoulder. Some might think it was a fair trade for the ability to shift, but Rory was not one of them.
Turning around, she continued walking. It was damp and cold, but the crisp air made her feel better. The smell of the chemicals had been harsh, but it had been too much fun with the women and Marilyn. She could honestly say she’d never encountered anyone like her before, which in a strange way was sad. The world needed more people like Mari. The fact that she had dyed her hair in spots of black and orange was a little more out there than anything Rory would ever do, but somehow, the crazy hair completed the other woman.
She was still processing what they had told her about Marilyn’s clan. It was someone out of a movie. A horrific movie. The kind Rory would never watch. Mari was from a jaguar clan, but she didn’t shift. Rory hadn’t asked if it was by choice or some flaw in genetics. She frowned. Was it a flaw in genetics, or was the entire shifting occurrence the flaw?
Stopping, she looked at the tracks in the mud. Large paw prints, overlapping smaller ones that trailed off into the remnants of dirty snow. She looked around. They still had snow here. The city had a few bad storms, but snow never stayed long or accumulated too much. It was one of the things she did miss. The first few snowfalls when she was with her family had always been pretty. Almost magical as it covered the trees and everything else. Of course, a few months of trudging through it and having frozen toes made the magical part wear off fast.
She listened. She could hear water running. Deciding to go toward it, she was annoyed she could confirm the direction by smell. Being surrounded by so many clan was waking up her animal from its long slumber. Her senses were stronger now. Hearing, smell, and she was sure her night vision would be too—it annoyed her that it was happening. Her sides were aching like she’d overdone it with Pilates, but she hadn’t exercised in months.
Wrapping her arms around her waist, she took a few deep breaths and blew them out. She didn’t want to go through that again. The constant battle for control. The cat trapped deep inside her wasn’t aggressive, not really, but she had what Rory thought of as tantrums when she prevented her from being close enough to shift.
She fought the feelings of panic. She was not shifting. If she did it again after this long, it would be months of pain and discomfort to get it under control again. The mental aspect of it was almost as bad as the physical. Images and feelings projected in her mind were so distracting that, at times, she had thought she was going to lose her mind.
“No.” She whispered. “We’re not doing that again.” Rory paused and closed her eyes when she realized she had said it out loud. She’d used the word ‘we’re’ instead of I.
Opening her eyes, she took a deep breath and blew it out. She could do this. She had been for years now.