Chapter 64 Chapter 64
She looked up to see a real look of sincerity on his face. Stopping, she studied him. He was a beautiful man with his high cheek bones, deep blue eyes, and long lashes. She moved down his face and looked at his mouth, his lower lip was slightly plumper than the top lip. It wasn’t fair that he had one of those mouths that you wanted to kiss.
“Kels,” he said softly as his hand cupped the bottom of her chin, drawing her attention back to his eyes. “Unless you want me to kiss you, don’t look at me like you want a taste.” His voice was soft with a rough rasp and it sent heat through her.
Did she want a taste? Blinking, she was startled by where her thoughts were going. Stepping back out of his touch, she decided no comment was the best course of action.
Dropping his hand, he turned and started walking again. “How long are we going to pretend nothing has changed?”
Trying to keep her distance, she ducked under a branch so she didn’t have to walk too close to him. “What do you mean?”
Shaking his head, he moved to the right side of the trail so she wouldn’t be climbing through the trees. “You’re almost in the trees to avoid being near me.”
She wanted to deny it, but couldn’t. Going back onto the path, she kept her eyes forward and off him. “I just don’t know what’s expected. I don’t know what I should or shouldn’t do.” Closing her mouth quickly, when she almost told him what happened when she started sniffing Blair, which might not be something she should share.
Reaching over, he grabbed her hand and then continued walking like it was no big deal. “Nothing is expected of you.” He smirked at her. “And if you do something out of place, it’s okay. No one expects you to know everything about a culture you didn’t even know existed until a few days ago.”
Kelsey was trying not to notice how it felt to have him holding her hand. After years of wishing he’d do something as simple as that, she couldn’t believe he was. His hand was warm, but not clammy like her own. The warmth seemed to spread up her arm.
“Are you all right?” He squeezed her hand lightly.
Stepping around a rock sticking up in the middle of the path, she walked slightly behind him for a few feet. He still held her hand. “I guess that depends on the definition of all right.”
He chuckled. “There’s more than one meaning?”
Nodding, she glared up at him. “There is in my world right now. There’s all right as in I’m not dying or having a mental breakdown, and then there’s I’m no better than I was thirty seconds ago, but could change in the next thirty seconds. Or…”
Tugging at her hand he pulled her closer and lean down, “I get it. Your mind is filled to capacity right now.”
She didn’t speak; she was trying not to breathe. He smelled so good to her, a dark spicy scent that just hit all the right chords in her body. Damn him for that, she had enough issues right now.
Gage stopped suddenly and went rigid. She stumbled into him and looked to see him inhaling and looking into the trees.
“Stay right here.” He said it in a whisper but with a tone that had her nod in immediate agreement. “If I’m not back in a few minutes, you book it back to the shop and get Blair.”
Nodding again, she touched his arm. “Be careful.” Kelsey didn’t know what to expect but she wouldn’t argue with him right now. Squeezing her hand again, he let go and moved into the trees.
She stood there hugging her arms around her waist, waiting. It was so silent; she couldn’t even hear him moving through the trees. Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she noted the time. Looking back at the trees, she watched for Gage.
Before she had time to go into full panic mode, the branches moved. She held her breath and then Gage stepped back into sight.
“Just some people in a boat out on the lake.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “You could tell from here?”
Nodding, he brushed a few pine needles off his arm and then tapped the side of his nose.
Kelsey frowned at him, “I can’t smell anything but trees.” She shrugged, “Maybe I won’t change like you think.”
Walking back to her, he grasped her shoulders and grinned at her. “Oh, you’re changing, don’t doubt that.”
She rolled her eyes at him.
“Close your eyes, cover your ears and then turn slowly and inhale.”
Her look was the equivalent of you’re nuts.
“Just do it. Take away one sense and the rest are stronger…”
Inhaling, she exhaled in an exasperated way and then reached up and covered her ears. Turning away from him, she closed her eyes. Gage rested his hands lightly on her waist. Ignoring the warmth of his touch, she inhaled deeply and then paused before exhaling. She was just doing it so she could tell him he was wrong. It shocked her when she could actually smell different things. A week ago, she would have described it as the bush smell, but it was so much more. She could smell pine trees, birch and cedar. The smell of the dirt filled her.
Gage’s hands gently guided her to turn to her left slowly. She moved and then inhaled again. This time in addition to the trees, she could smell a raccoon. She didn’t know how she knew that’s what it was, she just did.
With a firm touch this time, he turned her back to the right where she was able to smell the lake. It amazed her because she knew how far down it was, not to mention how many trees were between here and there. Yet, she could smell water.
With a smile on her face, she let him turn her again. His hand dropped away for a second before resting on her hips. Taking a deep breath, she waited to see what else she could smell.
Her eyes popped open when she realized it was Gage, a scent that was pure unadulterated masculine power. He was standing right in front of her, his eyes moving over her face slowly.
Dropping her hands from the sides of her head, she looked at his chest and kept her focus there. “I smelled the lake and a raccoon.”
“What else?”
She looked up to see him grinning at her. Smiling back, she felt giddy. “Different kinds of trees, dirt,” she thought about it for a second, “moist soil, maybe a form of moss or loam? And…” glancing away, she had almost said him.
He was nodding, “And?”
Inhaling slowly, she let the scent of him fill her again. “You,” she whispered and then exhaled. His hands she realized were still holding her, they flexed slightly. She knew she should look away, step out of his reach but the way his eyes held hers had her unable to remember how to do either. His dark eyes are gone a shade of deeper blue.
“Kels,” he whispered as he lowered his face closer to hers. “I’m going to kiss you. If you don’t want me to, all you have to do is stop me.”
She knew he spoke, his words registered slowly, but she didn’t want to stop him, not when she’d been wanting him to kiss her for six years.
His lips brushed against hers so lightly she was afraid she imagined it. Reaching up, she placed a hand on his chest, the solid muscle flexed under her touch; she could feel his heart beating strong against her hand.
With a shaky breath, he touched her lips again, lingering longer. Kelsey moved her other hand up to his neck and raised up toward his mouth. It was all the encouragement he needed. He began to kiss her, tasting her mouth over and over again. If his hands hadn’t been holding her steady she wasn’t sure she’d be able stay upright.
His tongue slid over her lips, coaxing her to open her mouth. Giving in, she moaned as the kiss changed from cautious to demanding, as his tongue plunged into her mouth, rubbing against hers.
Heat flashed through her whole body, something she had never felt before. It was overwhelming, but exciting. She grasped his hair and held on as his mouth assaulted hers. Her knees felt weak, they weren’t going to hold her much longer. Gage wrapped an arm around her and she was held tight against his body.
She wanted to grind her hips into him as an urgency to get closer to him shook her.
Never having had that urge before, she pulled back, breaking the kiss. Swallowing, she fought to regain her breath so she could speak.
Gage didn’t say a word; he just held her against him and looked down at her with lust hazed eyes. His chest was moving as fast as her own as he tried to catch his breath.
Dropping down from her tiptoes, she slid her hand slowly down his shoulder until it rested on his arm. With a shaking hand, she touched her mouth, his eyes tracked her movement, and she could see the desire in them when they stopped where her fingers rested.
“I didn’t mean to get carried away. I just…” he loosened his hold on her, putting a bit of space between them, “caught fire…” he said in a tone of disbelief.
Nodding, she couldn’t deny that was exactly what happened. They had gone up in flames from a kiss. ‘I’ve never…” she swallowed, not even sure how to say it.
Squeezing her waist once more, he dropped his hands away from her and placed them on his hips. Taking a deep breath, he released it gradually. “Neither have I.” He lowered his head and continued to breathe deeply.
Kelsey blinked and looked at him. Was he admitting kissing her had affected him as much as her? She studied him while he wasn’t looking. His hands rested at his hips, they were shaking slightly. Looking down she could plainly see his arousal under his jeans. A shocking flash of heat went through her, enough to make her gasp quietly.
“Christ, honey, don’t look at me like that if you expect me not to touch you.”
Startled, she glanced back at his face, a determined look was etched in his features, but it was mixed with pain.
He waved a hand in the direction of the lake. “Walk.” Clenching his jaw, he took a deep breath. “I need to get my cat under control.”
Eyes wide, she turned and started down the path. Alone.
Kelsey was sitting on her favorite boulder when he finally joined her. She was still working on settling her body down, not to mention her very vivid imagination.
Gage squatted down beside her and looked out over the lake. He gave her a brief look, his eyes having regained their usual sparkle again.
“Are you okay?” she asked hesitantly.
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Yeah, I’ve had years of practice getting my cat under control around you.”
“Is that why you were such a dick to me most of the time?”
Chuckling, he glanced at her briefly again and then out at the lake. “If I acted like an ass, you stormed away and were out of reach…”
“You weren’t an ass,” she said softly. He looked at her, doubt on his face. “You were a dick and you know it.”
Dropping his head down, he nodded. “Yeah, I was.” He shrugged. “I won’t apologize for it. It was for your own safety.”
Sighing, she pulled her legs up and hugged her knees. “I know.” He gave her a surprised look. “Blair explained it.”
“I wanted to give you time…”
“I appreciate it,” she looked at him, “really.”
Nodding, he looked out over the lake again. “I don’t know how much longer I can give you.” He said it in such a serious tone, she turned and studied him.
“What do you mean?”
Sighing, he dropped down and sat on the grass between the rocks. “Every fiber of my body tells me to claim you,” he gave her a pained look; “it may sound barbaric to you right now, but its part of the animal side. After you change you’ll understand that.”
Frowning, she tried to stay calm. “Why can’t you just keep controlling it?”
He snorted and then shook his head. “It was hard before you went away to school, but now…” his eyes moved over her slowly, taking in each inch of her, “Now, even my cat knows you are mature.”
Shaking her head, she looked away from him. “Tell your cat no.”
Moving over, until he was in front of her, he grasped her chin and gently forced her to look at him. “If it were that simple, I would. It’s like having razors clawing at my insides, Kels, telling me to claim you, to protect you,” his eyes darkened, “to look after your every need or want.” His touch lightened. “I’m fighting it, but I can’t say for how much longer.”
The last part sounded like an apology. If it were anyone other than Gage, she would have been afraid, but he’d picked up the pieces of her heart when her parents’ death had devastated her, and she trusted him like she did no other. She’d never realized that before. “What if I’m not ready?”
His eye brows shot up and she knew he was remembering their kiss.
“Not like that,” she chastised, “I meant emotionally, mentally.”
Releasing her chin, he rested his arms on her out stretched legs. “Honestly, I’ll have to leave.”
She opened her mouth to say that wasn’t right when he shook his head.
“You need to be around other clan until you understand everything and have completed the change.”
“I really hate this, Gage. I refuse to accept I have no choice in all of this…”
Grinning, he dropped his head down. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”
“It’s not funny,” she whined.
“Oh, I know. Not one bit of this is playing with my funny bone.” He rubbed the back of his neck and then stood up. Exhaling in a slow stream, he looked down at her. “We better get back. Being alone with you out here surrounded by nature is not helping me.” He held out a hand to her.
Letting him pull her to her feet, she gave him an exasperated look. “Oh, and living in a house full of beds is better?”
Tugging her closer, he leaned down and whispered close enough to her ear that she could feel his breath. “I don’t need a bed to do what I want to do to you, honey, trust me.”
Kelsey had never felt so turned on as she did right now. Turning his head slightly, she inhaled his scent and released a shaky breath. “Why couldn’t it just be about sex? I could handle that without all this other stuff.” Liar.
Gage’s hand flexed around hers and he straightened up releasing it like it burned him. “Christ, don’t say shit like that to me.” Groaning, he grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around. “Walk.”
With a grin he couldn’t see, she quickly moved back along the path. All of it was a nightmare to her, she was good and truly lost, but knowing Gage was suffering right along with her somehow made it a bit better. It was all she had to cling to right now.