Chapter 57 Chapter 57
Was it a bad thing when you didn’t like being right?
Kelsey sat on the boulder staring off at the rocks and trees. “Why didn’t anyone tell me all of this, Coop?” She batted at the tears on her face with her knuckles.
Cooper was squatted down beside her, also focused on the view of the trees. “We planned to, wanted to. The more time that passed, the harder it got.”
“I’d like a do-over,” she whispered.
“A what?”
“I’d like to do the last two days over again. All of this…” she lifted her hands and then dropped them back into her lap. “All of this is just too much to process.”
He was silent. Turning, she watched him study the patch of grass sticking out of the rocks beside his boots.
“There’s still more isn’t there?”
Lifting his eyes, he met hers. She felt like she could see right into his soul, the look he gave her answered the question.
Taking a deep breath, she looked away. “I just need a minute to process, Coop. It’s—it’s a lot to swallow in such a short time.” She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from starting again.
“I’ll just go give Gage a call and let him know where we wandered to. He’ll be worried by now.”
Nodding in agreement, even though what he’d said didn’t really register. After he left, she shifted on the rock, her shoulders drooped down. It felt like an enormous weight sat on them. Picking at the moss on the surface of the stone, she tried to sort through all the information that had been dumped on her.
She hadn’t meant to bombard Cooper with questions, but as they’d walked away she’d been so agitated with Gage’s behavior she’d lost it and asked why the hell her parents, Gage’s parents or even he hadn’t told her, long before now, what she was.
One question led to another, and the answers got longer and bled into things she wouldn’t ever have been able to imagine, even on her most bizarre day.
Her parents hadn’t died in a freak car accident as she had always believed. They’d been killed, or as far as Cooper knew, were being chased at the time of the accident. Why hadn’t anyone told her? Why hadn’t they told her that this organization that targeted her kind had been after her parents? The same one that had held Noah for fifteen years. Fifteen years.
She was quite possibly feeling every emotion, good and bad, known to man right now.
All. At. Once.
Now she understood, or as much as she ever would, why no one rushed to tell her what she was. The tears ran down her cheeks, she ignored them.
What was she?
She was a shifter from a long line of non-diluted shifters. What did that mean? She didn’t know exactly, but did know it meant the simple black and white world she thought she knew was as colorful as a bag of skittles. Cooper had briefly explained the workings of the clan and the alliance. God, to suddenly know there were normal-looking people that were really wolves, cat, bears and too many other species to name was inane.
Ed was an alpha and leader of this clan, and she was just finding out now. Well, she was finding out so much; Gage was one of Devin’s two seconds, and apparently some kind of shifter equivalent to royalty. So, what did that mean for Gage? Would he be going off to be with Devin, wherever that was, when he took over?
Clutching her head, she closed her eyes, maybe she was just going insane and none of this was real. Would it be too much to ask to go back to her not knowing any of it?
“Kelsey.”
Every muscle in her body tensed, he was still using her given name. “Is the rest going to be as bad, Coop?”
“Worse than finding out about your parents? No, it’s nothing like that, I promise.”
Exhaling loudly, she lifted her head and turned on the rock so she could look at him. “Okay, good, because I don’t know how much more I can take. Really.”
“When I said we would talk, I had meant about the changes you’re going to go through. I hadn’t intended to tell you everything just yet.”
She looked at his amber eyes that were filled with so much sadness. Nodding, she exhaled slowly. “I’m glad you did, well, as much as I can be. All these secrets are things I should have known years ago…”
“But you do understand now why we didn’t tell you right away?”
She didn’t want to, but did. “Yeah, I do. I guess.”
Cooper sat on a rock a few feet from her. “What I really wanted to talk to you about was how the changes you’re going through affects the boys…”
She rolled her eyes, “God forbid they should be a little uncomfortable.”
He gave her a look, if she didn’t know him as well as she did, it would have been scary being on the other end. “That’s why we’re having this talk. It goes beyond just being uncomfortable. You’re lucky they think of you like a sister.”
She looked down at the blade of grass in her fingers, avoiding his eyes.
Letting out a low sound that was close to a growl, he started talking again, his voice low and serious. “When they’re this close to a female that’s going into the change, or even after during her cycle, every instinct in them tells them to, uh, well, the end result is to mark you…”
Her head came up with a jerk. “Mark me?”
He nodded. “It’s a natural thing.” He rubbed the back of his neck like he was uncomfortable talking to her about this. “It doesn’t happen often now, unless there’s a mutual attraction and consent, but in the past…” he blew out a breath, “let’s just say many couples found themselves stuck with each other for not ignoring the signs.”
She opened her mouth and then closed it for a moment. “So, even though they think of me like a sister…”
“But that’s just it, you’re not a sister and their cats know that.”
“Am I supposed to just stay at the house then? To make it easier for them until this passes?”
Taking off his hat, he rubbed a hand vigorously over his stubbly hair. Placing the cap back on, he adjusted it a few times before looking back at her. “You could, but you’d be there a long while.”
“I don’t understand, Coop. Maybe my brain is on overload. Just break it down for me.”
He ran his hand over the back of his neck again. She had never seen him so fidgety before, it made her more worried about what he was trying to tell her.
“Your body would have changed gradually in the next few years, if you’d stayed in the city.” He shrugged. “It may have been a few years before you felt it, but…” Blowing out a breath, he shook his head like he was waging some kind of internal argument.
“But…” she prompted.
“It is changing, and now that you’re around six males it will be fast and furious and nothing you can do will stop it. Staying shut up in the house might drag it out some, but it’s still going to happen…”
“Do you think I’ll shift fully?” She interrupted and was rewarded with an annoyed look.
“That’s the least of your worries, sweetheart,” he said softly.
Sweetheart? It had been years since Cooper had called her that. Not since just after her parents died. “Okay,” she swallowed the lump in her throat, “what is my biggest worry?”
“Mating.” He huffed out a breath like he was relieved he’d finally said it.
“Mating?” Her eyes widened. “You mean having sex?” Shaking her head, she tried to process what exactly this had to do with anything they’d talked about. “Uh, I don’t…”
“Your cat is going to want to mate during your cycle.” He said it slowly, maybe hoping he wouldn’t have to explain further, she didn’t know.
Her cheeks grew hot. This was one talk she hadn’t ever pictured having with Cooper. “Uh, so what…”
Cooper stood up and rubbed the back of his neck again. “You’re around six…” he shook his head, “five vital, young males, Kelsey…”
“Oh.” She jumped up and stood there with her heart pounding in her chest faster than if she’d just run a mile. “You mean, she…” she swallowed, “me—I will end up with one of them?”
He blew out a breath and nodded.
“No.” She turned away from him, the guys in question faces flying through her mind. “No. I mean, yeah, I guess they’re all something most women wouldn’t mind…” she spun around, “but Coop, they’re like brothers. I’ve never…” her cheeks heated again when she thought of Gage, “for most of them, I’ve never even looked at them like that.”
He nodded and crossed his arms. “I know.”
She stared at him; her heart racing so fast still then she noticed he had that look, the one that told her there was still more. God, just push me off a cliff, please. I can’t do this. “What? What else?” She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. “Cooper, just tell me. Is this ever going to end?”
Moving over, he placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a sympathetic look. “I know, sweetheart…”
Jerking, she stepped back. “Don’t call me that! Anytime that word comes out of your mouth it’s been bad news.” Running her hands up into her hair she grasped it and rested her hands on top of her head, fists full of her own hair. “Just tell me, Coop, I’m one second from a meltdown here.”
“It’s about Gage…”
Dropping her hands, she gaped at him, a lump in her throat. “What about Gage?” Her mind was spinning out of control. “Oh God, does he want me to leave? I’m distracting all the guys and that’s dangerous working with the equipment,” she groaned, “I didn’t even think about that…”
“Gage doesn’t want you to leave.” He laughed.
She stared at him, eyes wide. He was laughing? How could he laugh right now? “He doesn’t?”
“No.” He grinned and then shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of the smile. “No, Gage most definitely doesn’t want you to leave ever again.”
Exhaling as relief filled her, she let the muscles in her shoulders relax a bit. “Good, because honestly I don’t know where I’d go...”
“When Gage growled at you earlier, it’s because Noah was touching you.” He said it quickly like he needed to get it out fast.
Frowning, she rubbed her forehead. “Well, yeah he caught me so I wouldn’t land on my ass...”
“I know, and so did Gage, he’d been watching the two of you for several minutes.”
“Then why did he growl? Was Noah supposed to let me fall on my ass?” She pointed a finger at him. “And F.Y.I Noah is able to completely ignore this mating…urge…stuff.”
Cooper nodded. “I know. We all do.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Gage sent him out there so you wouldn’t feel like a leper, so he does trust him around you.”
“Then what’s the problem?” She’d never had so much information dumped on her all at once before, lines were blurring and her normal logic was completely shot. “I don’t get it, Coop.” Did I just whine that? Now she wanted to growl.
Blowing out a loud breath, Cooper closed his eyes for a moment like he was drawing on the last of his patience. “Each of us has one true mate. It’s rare to find them.” He waved his hand around in the air. “And when, or if, you do, then the urges are ten times stronger.”
“The urge to be with them, or mark them, whatever…” What did this have to do with anything he’d said today?
He nodded. “Yeah,” his eyes flicked down to the ground and he didn’t look back at her, “Gage found his mate years ago and has been waiting ever since.”
She wanted to stomp on his foot so he would hurry up and just tell her. Oh, God what if Gage has a mate? Giving herself a mental smack, she realized those teenage fantasies about the son of the people that taken her in were the very least of her problems. “And?” She urged, not hiding the annoyed tone in her voice.
“He realized it was you when you turned sixteen, Kelsey.” His serious eyes locked on hers and he didn’t move, she wasn’t even sure if he was breathing.
That was the first time she could actually see that he was a cat inside. Her brain felt like it was moving in slow motion, she couldn’t process what he’d just said. It was there, but not. Cooper continued to look at her, not saying a word. She didn’t know which part she was supposed to focus on, how Gage treated her from sixteen to now? Or, the fact that she was his mate and they didn’t have a choice? That’s where her mind stopped. If she was Gage’s mate, then he didn’t have a choice really, or her either, because of some sort of animal thing. “So… he, we don’t have a choice in this?”
Cooper tilted his head like he couldn’t believe after everything he’d just said that was what she said first. “That’s all you have to say?” Shaking his head, he put his hand on his hips and looked all around them. “I can honestly say that’s not what I’d imagined your reaction being for the last seven years.”
“You knew?”
He nodded slowly, “We all did. When he had trouble coping, we ran interference…” he stopped and studied her. “You don’t have a clue what I’m talking about do you?” Chuckling softly, he continued. “Of course, you don’t, and it’s our fault.” Raising a hand, he offered her an odd smile. “I know you’ve got a lot to deal with right now and I truly am sorry for all of it, but…” he shrugged, “I have to ask, do you see Gage as your brother, Kelsey? It would kill him, but if he knew that, he would find a way to get through your change and give you time.”
She opened her mouth slowly, changing her mind with what she was going to say. “What do you mean?” For most of her life she’d thought she was a fairly intelligent person, but today the only thing she seemed to be was clueless.
“This would be so much easier if he could talk to you himself, but he’s having issues right now dealing with you finally being home and near…”
Kelsey nodded, even though she really didn’t understand—again. “I’ve never thought of him as my brother,” she felt her cheeks heat and wanted to curse, “but right now, with what you’ve just told me, I can’t really think.” She ended on a breath so soft she wasn’t sure she said it loud enough for him to hear. “Maybe I should just go away for a while and…”
“Jesus, don’t do that.” He ran a hand over the scar that ran from his temple to his jaw. “If you were to take off because of this, it would destroy him.” He stepped over to her and put his hands on her shoulders so she would look up at him. “Stay. We may be a bunch of males, but we all care and want to help you through all of this.” He waited for her to nod, which she did numbly then he continued. “If you were to go off and then shift alone for the first time, sweet…” he smirked, “it wouldn’t be good.”
Blinking, she looked up at him. How could she have forgotten that part in all of this? “I can’t imagine it, and I don’t even want to try, Coop.” Dropping her head onto his chest, she inhaled and noticed that his scent smelled familiar and made her feel a small amount of comfort. God, I am what they’re saying.
He pulled her into his arms and held her for several minutes without speaking. “Let’s get you home, Kitty Kat, I think a hot meal, a warm bath, and long sleep will help.”
Nodding, she let him guide her back along the path that led to the shop, or the house, depending on which turn you took.
Sometimes your world can tilt a bit and throw you off balance, so you need to stop and make some minor adjustments. This—this wasn’t tilting. Her entire world and everything she thought she knew had just spun out of control and flipped in more directions than she could count. She was numb, inside and out.