Chapter 543 Chapter 543
Blaise hadn’t known she’d decided to tell him until the words were coming out of her mouth. “They’re pretty sure they know what clan your mother was from—if her name was really Ballard.”
He froze. Didn’t move at all, she wasn’t sure if he was still breathing. “They do? You, ah,” he motioned to the door of Raymond’s other room. “You found that out just then?”
“Yeah. Do you want to know?” He may be part Tomas, but for the part of him that was a shifter, she wanted him to know. She knew what it was like to wonder what was inside you. To not know all the pieces of yourself was a very heavy thing to carry.
“I,” he blew out a breath and stood there with his hands on his hips and looked at the floor. “I never thought there was a way to find out.” He looked back at her, “I used to ask the ones looking after me when I was young, but—” he clenched his jaw, “that landed me in some bad situations.” He blew out another breath and nodded slowly. With a look of trepidation, the motion of his head increased. “Okay. Yeah. Tell me.” He grimaced, “wait, it’s not like some awful thing like a large rat-like creature—that-that would be very anti-climatic after years of imagining other creatures.”
Blaise couldn’t help the smirk. She cleared her throat, “no. You’re not a rat, well,” she shrugged. “Kermode bear.”
His expression changed three times before he spoke. “A what? I don’t know what that is.”
She frowned and glanced at her phone. The orders for unnecessary use were still in place, so she couldn’t search and show him. “Spirit bear, I believe they’re almost white or very pale. They’re rare, only one clan on record, and pretty remote,” she shrugged, “on an island in Western Canada.”
He hadn’t moved or made a sound.
“You might have relatives; they’re looking into it.”
“Actual relatives?” She wasn’t sure if he was saying it to her or himself. “not that it matters, right? I’m from the enemy, and being mixed, it’s not like they’ll throw a welcome home party. I’m a mutt in the shifter community and an abomination in the human one.”
What he said hit every chord inside her. If anyone understood the feeling that you didn’t belong, it was her. “They didn’t think I would be able to shift.” He turned and looked at her. “My family.”
“Why?”
Had she meant to go here? To bleed out her angst on a stranger? No, but it was too late now. “Somewhere in my family tree, way back, two from different clans got together.” She didn’t know the details, but she could fake it. Lifting up her right arm, she held it out making sure he could see the darker skin. He glanced at it and then back to her face. Scowling at him, she scoffed, “I’m a mixed breed.” It was the first time she’d ever said it out loud.
“You shift?”
She nodded.
“To what?” he frowned, “what clans?”
“Tiger.” She looked at her own hands and then dropped them to her sides. “My best guess is two different tiger species.”
“Everyone’s okay with it? You?”
She snorted, “I stopped caring what others thought when I was ten.”
“What does that mean for your children?”
Turning quickly, she went back behind the table, “I don’t have any children.”
“Fine. Your future children?”
“That won’t happen.” She glanced at the kitchen, not wanting to look at him. Should she ask if he’s hungry? She huffed out a breath, regretting the entire conversation. “I got myself fixed so I don’t have to worry about a child going through what I did.” With stiff movement, she went into the kitchen and then changed her mind, and turned around. “I will take a hot poker and expunge that from your brain if you ever think about repeating a word of that.”
His mouth quirked like he wanted to smile but didn’t want to take the conversation lightly at the same time. “I understand.”
Blaise spun back and went into the kitchen. She stood there and looked at the counter. What possessed her to say any of that? She’d never told anyone that she had made sure she would never have children. No one should have to go through the humiliation she had growing up. Other children were cruel. They didn’t care if there were reasons you were different, just that you didn’t fit into some checkbox that they did. Some adults weren’t much better. She remembered the mothers telling their children not to get too close to her like her mixed DNA was contagious or something.
She looked at the door. What kind of life had he had? She knew just from him saying he was an abomination that the Tomas’ hadn’t exactly accepted him into their family with open arms. Shaking her head, she opened the cupboard to see what she felt like making. It wasn’t her job to care about his life, or what his feelings were on anything. Her job was to keep him alive for the time she was here and then move on to the next assignment.