Chapter 480 Chapter 480
When her teeth pierced his flesh, his grip tightened on her hips. He hissed out a breath, his animal did much the same. He could feel the change running through him as their scents mixed and thought he might drop to the floor in ecstasy when she released him.
As soon as she removed her feline teeth from his flesh, she licked over it and then grasped his hair and kissed him with such passion he could barely catch up to her. He wanted to and there was never a time he thought he would want to kiss someone this way.
Emersyn tore her mouth from his and held his face between her hands, “mark me, Noah,” her breathless voice sent a shiver through him.
If he thought about it, he knew something would go wrong and he’d overthink himself right out of doing it, so he didn’t give himself or his cat the chance. Running his hands down the side of her legs, he cupped her behind the knees, so she would drop onto his lap. He wanted to hold her while he did this, show her that touch could be with love. And he did, he realized, he did love her. She was his strength when he thought it was lost forever.
When she moved to take off her shirt, he shook his head, he didn’t want her to feel exposed or vulnerable, not with him, not ever again. He brushed the hair back from her neck and leaned down to kiss the soft skin. A light tug on the sleeve revealed the spot he needed access to. When he kissed her throat again, she moaned softly and his whole body sang in a reply to her. His cat was getting impatient now and he really couldn’t blame him, she was theirs and they needed everyone to know it, to step cautiously when near her.
Pressing his nose into her skin, he inhaled her scent inside of him and he felt his teeth change against his tongue. His cat was always that close. He closed his eyes and touched the back of her head with care as he bit into her flesh. The taste of her blood hit him and then his cat—everything changed without warning. A feeling of panic and vileness flooded into him so suddenly, he pulled back from her and licked over the mark, and then set her gently from him.
He scrambled to his feet and darted for the door, ripping it open. He didn’t make it two steps before his stomach started to lurch inside him. He leaned on his knees and bent over, trying to breathe through his nose and stop the terror that was flashing every bad thing he’d seen through his mind.
“Noah.” She was right beside him.
Panting for air, hoping to be able to speak, he reached his hand toward her, “It’s not you.” He clamped his mouth closed through the next wave. “It’s not you.” He said again because he wasn’t sure if he’d spoken the words out loud the first time.
She placed her hand on his back near his shoulder blades and rubbed it gently. “I know.” She leaned over and rested her cheek against his shoulder, and he stayed hunched over. “Slow your breathing, through your nose.” She said softly.
Noah nodded and reached back with his hand again and held what he thought maybe her thigh. He tried to draw in a slow breath as she said but his stomach lurched again.
“You’re not there anymore, Noah.”
It sounded like she was whispering it right in his ear, he couldn’t be sure, but her voice, her nearness seemed to be helping him fight his way back out of the dark place.
“You’re here with me now.” She continued, “we’re going to start a new life together that will be what we want.” Her tone sent a shiver down his spine, and he realized she was talking his cat down with each word.
He nodded his head but was afraid if he tried to talk, he would throw up. He’d been fooled too many times into thinking his body was settling only to have it flare up again.
“I’m getting cold,” she said softly, “we can go inside and open a window and sit beside it.”
He drew a deep breath through his nose again and then nodded. Very slowly, he straightened all while measuring what his body’s reaction was to the movement. It seemed to be subsiding. If he moved slowly, he could get her back in the house where she’d be warm.
Noah didn’t see a thing as she guided him into the house again and to the wall. He lowered himself and sat down resting his arms on his raised knees and blew out long breathes, trying to get it under control.
He felt her wrap his jacket over his shoulders and his chest contracted with the emotion of her genuine show of concern for him. He knew the others worried about him all the time, but none of it compared to this. He heard her open the window a bit and then she sat down beside him. When she rested her head on his shoulder, he lifted his head and looked at her. Just that fast, his cat was calmed and settling down. His gaze landed on the bite on her neck and that was it, his cat realized that the blood was from that.
“It wasn’t you.” He said softly. Closing his eyes, he took a few relaxed breaths and then looked at her again. “I can’t—any time I think of touching a female,” he watched to see she was completely focused on him, her eyes showing patience and understanding, “even the slightest touch,” he bounced his fingertips off the side of his head, “it takes me back there.” Why were her eyes filling with tears? “It had nothing to do with you.” He reached over and moved her jacket aside so he could see the full bite, his mark on her. “It’s nothing to do with that.” He flicked his eyes to see hers were still sparkling with unfallen tears. “I’m sorry if I ruined it.”
She shook her head and wiped her hand over her eyes. “You didn’t ruin it.” She leaned around and moved his jacket to see his, “I was actually panicking about what came next.”
He snorted, “we are so broken we’re fucking perfect.” He mumbled it, but she still smiled.
“I agree. To the perfect part.” She tilted her head to the side and searched his face, he didn’t know what she was looking for, but her posture relaxed so it must have been there. “We should go inside soon.” Her eyes momentarily rounded, “Aspyn will be a ball of energy tomorrow and talk non-stop about her sleepover.”
Noah pretended to wince, “maybe it’s good I won’t be here.”
She smirked, but then her look changed. “I will miss you.”
“I know this is going to be,” he shook his head, “nothing like what a normal mated relationship is like, but I have to do this, you understand that right?”
She nodded. “I know and I don’t begrudge that you are, not at all.” She reached over and touched his cheek softly, “you’ll find them all and free them to discover their new lives, Noah, I know you will.”
He leaned closer and pulled her head toward his. Resting his forehead on hers, he closed his eyes and just wanted to sit there like that forever. Close, their breathing in sync with the others, peaceful. Before he moved away, he kissed her forehead and then took her hand. “Let’s go in the house and chase some sleep.”
She laughed softly, “that’s the best description of it I’ve ever heard.”
He pulled her to her feet, and she placed her hand on his bare chest and looked up at him.
“You’re not sleeping in a different room when you come back.”
He watched the look in her eyes and wondered where she was going with it.
“We can chase sleep together in the same bed.” Her face flushed slightly, “it might be hit-and-miss for a while, but I just want you close to me when you are home, is that okay?”
Noah rubbed his hand over his beard briskly. “I’d like to try.” He leaned down and kissed her mouth, “my demons seem to be afraid of you, so maybe the nightmares will stop.” He knew that would never happen, but he also hoped what he said was true or at least possible.
“Okay.” She yawned, then covered her mouth.
Noah went over and picked up his shirt, “if you want, we can try tonight.” The idea of feeling her close to him through the terror of the night, when he was at his absolute weakest was very appealing to him. He hadn’t been making it up when he said his demons were afraid of her.
“I’ll go change and come to your room.” Her face was flushed, a nervous look in her eyes.
Noah just nodded, because if he tried to speak right now, he was afraid he might swallow his tongue. He had found and lost his mate, then found her again and now she wore his mark for all their kind to see. He watched her go to the door and hoped this wasn’t some sort of dream that would turn into a nightmare like all the rest.