Chapter 425 Chapter 425
She sobbed quietly, and it felt like he was being torn into shreds. Relaxing his hold on her, he rubbed his hand down her back, as gently as he could, at least he hoped it was gentle. His cat was giving him back some control, but he was so scared he would hurt her. His hand felt damp, and he realized his palms were bleeding and he was essentially wiping the blood off on the blanket. He wanted to step away from her, too many emotions were riding him right now. But he couldn’t leave her.
Leaning down he rested his head on hers and took a deep breath, taking her scent inside him. His cat reacted immediately and backed off. She smelled of spices, making him think of someone baking in the kitchen. It was a ridiculous thought, what the hell did he know about baking? The pleasant scent was tinged with anguish, and he was sure it was that alone that had his cat settle down and behave. Now was not the time to lose control.
As she relaxed in his arms, he became aware of how it felt to hold her. Her soft body fit against his like she was the other half of his own. His gut tightened with need, and it startled him. He tensed and lifted his head from her. He’d never felt lust before but knew this was what it was. He’d seen too much in his life to ever want that part of a relationship.
Inhaling, he almost choked on the scent she was throwing now. He grasped her shoulders lightly and looked down at her. He had to be mistaken, she wouldn’t want him, not after what she’d been through, not after what he’d done. “It’s going to be okay.” He told her, just needing to say something to hold her away from his body.
Emersyn took a ragged breath and nodded, “I’m sorry, I just...”
“I know. It all came back to me too.”
“Are you okay?”
He stared into her eyes to see concern and worry. She was upset about him? That was ridiculous. “I’m good. Now.” He tilted his head, trying to shrug it off. “I just need to eat after that run.”
“Is that why?”
He knew she was asking if he was having issues with his cat because he needed to eat. He didn’t want to lie to her, but his mouth did anyway. “Yeah. You have to eat regularly, or you’ll struggle with control.” It wasn’t entirely a lie.
She gave him a quick assessing look. “Okay. I’ll go make you a sandwich.” She frowned, “I’ve never made one, but I’m sure it’s not too difficult.” She rubbed her hand over his chest.
He held his breath and realized she didn’t care about the scars beneath her palm, in fact, there was no sign that she even noticed them. “I’ll be right there.” He stepped further back from her and dropped his hands away from her.
She gave him a soft smile and started toward the house.
Noah watched how uneven her steps were and felt worse knowing she’d expended energy she didn’t have to comfort him. He looked down at the ground, assessing the state of his cat now. He was restless but was willing to work with him again. Blowing out a breath, he put his hands on his hips and stared at the ground in front of him.
“You good now?”
Lifting his head, he looked to see Blair had returned.
“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes, “sorry about that,” he tapped his head with one finger, “memories and shit flooded my head.”
Blair gave him a surprised look. “That was something else.” He motioned up and down his body.
Noah frowned, having no idea what he was saying.
“Your eyes, man, they were a cat.” Blair snuffed out a breath, “and your muscles were doing this rolling thing like I’ve never seen, but you didn’t shift.”
Noah held out his arm and looked down at it. That hadn’t happened in a long time, not since he’d been freed. “Oh, that.” He looked back at him, and then touched his throat, “sometimes we forget there is no collar, so it’s like he wants out but not completely.”
Blair’s expression was wide-eyed, “well it’s freaky as shit, so let’s not do that too often, okay?”
Noah had to grin at his expression. “I try not to.”
“Well, good.” Blair blew out a breath, “so you’re good now?”
Noah looked over to see Calum and Cale standing by the house. “Yeah, well, I think so.”
“That was convincing.” Blair rubbed his hand over his hair and looked over his shoulder briefly, “it’s weird, huh?” He waved his hand toward Noah, “how a mate can just settle shit down with a touch.”
Noah did not feel settled down, not in the least, as far as Emersyn touching him went. “Uh,” he glanced over to make sure no one was coming toward them, “not really.”
“What do you mean, she settled your ass down pretty fast,” Blair smirked.
Noah had no idea how to explain it. “It was intense for me.” He spoke softly.
Blair gave him a puzzled look, “how do you mean? You looked pretty relaxed.”
“Yeah,” Noah lifted his hand then dropped it, “a bit arousing.” He said the word slowly like it would explain everything to him.
Blair snorted, “that’s normal.” He smirked.
Noah shook his head, “maybe for you.” He gave him an annoyed look, “I don’t make females of all ages purr when I walk by.”
Blair grinned, then sobered when he realized he was being serious. “But it’s not like it was the first time you—” his jaw dropped, “shit, it was, wasn’t it?”
Noah felt like having this conversation was the stupidest thing he’d ever done. The air was filled with awkward tension now.
“That’s right,” Blair continued, “your cat knew he had a mate all this time, so,” he motioned to Noah’s body, “so it wouldn’t find others,” he scoffed, “attractive.” He crossed his arms over his chest and just looked at him. “I’m feeling a bit weird about this conversation now.”
Noah gave him a hard look. “You think?”
Blair grinned, “so, ah, let’s just end it with, if you need to talk to someone,” he looked over his shoulder, then back to him, “about that then uh,” he made a sour face, “Gage is probably the one that will understand the most.”
Noah straightened, “probably, if it were a normal situation.” Noah blew out a breath, “I don’t think I can ever,” he looked at the ground, trying to think how to word it, “after what I’ve heard and seen, I-I...”
“Hey.”
He looked back to Blair to see him giving him a hard look, but he was moving his feet like he wanted to run the other way.
“One day at a time, my friend. Just take it one day at a time.” He looked back to the house, “mates tend to figure it out.”
Noah doubted that, but his face felt hot, and he just wanted to end this conversation. “Right.” He agreed, even though he didn’t. Clearing his throat, he motioned to the house, “Emersyn was making me a sandwich.”
Blair nodded his head quickly, “yeah, go eat.” He reached to pat him on the shoulder and then stopped, and gave him a thumbs-up, “I don’t want to disturb your cat right now.” He grinned, “scary, weird shit.” He mumbled and spun on his heel and went the other way.