Chapter 420 Chapter 420
His hand was on the door, and he was about to rip it open when his cat made another emotion known. Caution. Noah exhaled a deep breath and rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension that seemed to be the only thing holding him together right now. He released the handle and knocked on the door lightly. “Emersyn,” he looked at the ground, listening to hear inside, “I’d like to talk.” He had to force his tone to be lighter than the emotions churning inside him.
The door swung open so fast it almost caught him in the face. She stood in it looking at him. “You can’t tell me what to do, no one is going to ever again.”
He swallowed; it wasn’t the opening he had thought he’d get. “I’m not trying to.”
“Fine.” She stepped up the stairs, “you can come in then.”
He stepped into the trailer and immediately regretted it when her scent assaulted him. Stopping on the step, he decided this was far enough inside. Maybe it was because his cat was so close to the surface, but it seemed like it was stronger than it had been. He released the door, so it wouldn’t close, he needed the air to flow freely.
She moved as far from him as possible in the small space, her hip resting against the table at the front of the trailer. She watched him, without moving—was she even taking a breath? Emersyn may never have shifted, but her cat was close, controlling her whether she realized it or not. “I’m sorry,” he didn’t take her eyes off her, trying to gauge what she was thinking, “about out there, I didn’t mean to...”
“Give me an order?”
He nodded. Noah tried to put his hands in his pockets, but his elbows hit the sides of the stairwell, so he crossed them over his chest and tried to appear like he was relaxed and okay being in a small space with her. “We don’t know what we’re walking into,” he searched for the words to explain to her why he’d reacted the way he did, “I just—I don’t—” he looked at the floor for a second, then took a deep breath and exhaled it to try again. “I failed you once.” He blurted out and then looked at her. “I can’t...”
Her expression changed from defensive to shock. “You didn’t fail me.” She made one of those sounds that women made when they were annoyed. “There were four of them, Noah, there’s nothing you could have done.”
He’d relived that moment a million times in his mind, and knew every second of it. “If I’d kept my mouth shut and...”
“Could you have? Just stood there silently and nodded your head, yes sir, no sir?” She crossed her arms over her waist and hugged herself.
He was stupid for bringing it up again. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t think so,” her voice was a whisper, emotion close to the surface, “the other woman, that older one that was there then,” she frowned, “I don’t remember her name,” she gave her head a slight shake, “she told me only a male discovering his mate would react that way,” she held his look, unwavering for a second, “I was so young, hardly understood that there was a cat inside me at that point, but I knew you, I felt like we weren’t strangers,” she blinked, “that doesn’t make sense, but I was more concerned for you than myself...”
“You shouldn’t have been.” His heart was thrumming a fast beat inside his chest, “you should have kept quiet and just let it be.”
Her brows creased, “I couldn’t.” Her eyes moved, as she examined his face, “even with age and your beard, I still knew it was you when you turned on that light.” A slight smile moved her lips, then was gone again, “I can’t explain how, but I did.” A pained look filled her eyes.
His legs felt weak, he gripped the half wall beside the steps to steady himself. He shouldn’t have come in here with her. Not alone. He squeezed the ledge in his hand, trying to focus on something else, “just make sure you follow instructions when we go—” he frowned, “there.” He had almost said to get Aspyn, but he didn’t want to fill her with too much hope. What if the child wasn’t there, then what?
She nodded stiffly, “I will.” It was a whisper, but he could still hear how upset she was getting.
Sucking in a breath, he closed his eyes for a second, another mistake, taking more of her scent inside him. His cat stirred and Noah couldn’t think clearly enough to figure out what the animal was trying to tell him. Moving in slow motion, he stepped down the step backward.
“Noah.” She lunged forward and grabbed his hand which still had a strained grip on the wall. “You’re a good man.” She said quickly and then nodded when he gave her a shocked look, “I know you are.” The smile she gave him faltered, “Daisie told me all about the others you’ve helped.” Still holding his hand, she wrapped her other one around her waist, “that you helped a girl escape, even after that day—”
The painful expression on her face, felt like a thousand knives were being jabbed into him at once. “I didn’t care anymore what happened to me.” He admitted and was stunned he’d said it out loud. He’d never told anyone how reckless he was after he found and lost his mate at the same moment.
Her face scrunched up, there was so much pain pouring from her that his cat went crazy inside him.
“Oh,” she released his hand and pressed her hand to her stomach, “I don’t feel good.” she whispered, “I probably ate too much again.”
It hit him all at once, it wasn’t that her scent was stronger in the closed-in space, it was her cat. Her cat was very close to the surface. He panicked and turned to bolt out the door and run and get Kobie, or Shaelan, anyone. Emersyn grabbed his hand again; the grip was twice as hard as the last time.
“Noah.” She said it with such pain, but also like a mantra and he didn’t know why.
His cat more or less took a big paw and belted him in the head, he was sure he physically moved from the action. Noah dropped to a knee on the step so he could see her face. “Emersyn, your cat wants out.” He said it softly, trying to use that soothing tone Blair always used.
Her eyes opened and she looked at him, fear was blazing from them. “I-I can’t,” her hand was shaking as she raised it to her throat.
He looked at the fading marks from where the collar had been. “You can now.” He took her hand and held it gently, “no one is going to hurt you if you do.” He stood up and backed down the step, “let’s go outside and give her some room.” He had no idea what he was doing, or how to talk someone through their first shift. He remembered what happened the first time he’d shifted after being free, his cat and he had freaked out. He thought for sure Gage was going to put him down that time. If it hadn’t been for Kelsey— He helped her down the last step, “just take deep breaths, and uh, try to relax, don’t fight it.” He needed one of the women, anyone other than him.
He was sucking in breaths almost as uneven as she was as he backed them away from the trailer into a more open area. “You’re doing great.” Unlike me, he thought. She kept her eyes closed, focusing and he looked around, trying to see if there was anyone nearby that could help. Calum and Blair were still standing across the yard. Calum was on the phone and Blair turned to look his way. Noah sent him a ‘help’ look, at least he hoped that’s what he conveyed. Blair looked confused and then his eyes widened, and he turned and ran toward the house.
Noah released a breath. He would get someone to help.
“Noah.” It was more of a whine than spoken, the pain and panic pouring from her. “Don’t leave me.” She grabbed his wrist and he winced at how hard she was squeezing.
Something Cooper had told him popped into his head. Stay out of reach for first shifts, claws can come out faster than you can blink. He stopped walking and placed his hand over hers and gently pried her fingers off. “Take deep breaths,” he glanced over her head to see Kobie and Nichelle running toward them fast. Thank fuck. That was the first thought he had. “The girls are coming, they’ll help you.”
“No.” It was a yowl, not words. She stepped into him and grabbed his shirt, resting her head against his chest. “Stay.” she panted.
“He’s not going anywhere, Emersyn,” Kobie said in a soft crooning voice. “But you need to let him go so he can strip down and shift,” she moved closer, and Noah noticed her stance was cautious, “we need to get your clothes off, they must be hurting you.”
Emersyn sucked in a breath and nodded her head against his chest.
“You’ve got this Emersyn,” Nichelle said softly. “It’s amazing once you let go and let it happen.” She smiled at Noah as Emersyn released him.
“That’s it.” Kobie stepped closer, “let’s get these clothes off.” She gave Noah a pointed look. “Noah’s going to shift so he can run with you.”
Noah looked around, panic filling him. He remembered Kelsey’s first run, he looked down at Nichelle as she pulled her shirt over her head, her first run she’d jumped in the river. Holy shit, he couldn’t do this alone. He stumbled back a step and then looked over to see Blair and Calum stripping. He huffed out a breath of relief. He’d have backup. His cat was pacing inside him now, telling him to hurry up. Looking back down, he saw Emersyn was on her hands and knees now. She moaned and it spurred him into action. His clothes were off, and he shifted without thought.