Chapter 403 Chapter 403
Noah bolted upright and freed his legs from the blanket. He was covered in sweat and his heart was racing so fast he couldn’t breathe. Wiping his hand over his face, he blew out a breath. Just a nightmare. I’m not there anymore.
Swinging his feet to the floor, he breathed slower and rested his face in his hands. He was glad this op had allowed him to have his own room. Rubbing his jaw to ease the tense muscles, he looked around the tiny space. Okay, so his room had been a closet at one time, but it was just him and he didn’t have to worry about waking others as he fought the demons in his sleep and woke up ready to run—or fight
Grabbing his shirt, he yanked it over his head and jammed his arms into it. There would be no going back to sleep now. There never was. Once they started, they didn’t ease up and allow any sort of rest. The only thing he could do was take his body to the point of exhaustion and hope for a few hours of dead sleep before they returned. Thrusting his legs into his jeans, he stood up and zipped them. Coffee and fresh air and he’d be ready for the day.
He moved down the stairs silently, making sure not to wake anyone else in the house. Being part of this team had given him purpose, one he was proud to have. They also ripped off all the scabs on old wounds and made him relive it all again, over and over.
Glancing at the door, he made sure it was closed and he wouldn’t wake Illias—if in fact the man ever slept because it didn’t seem like he did. He used his phone to light the way into the kitchen and found a coffee pot already on and almost full. Someone else was anxious for the op to start too. They were supposed to go in last night, but the other teams weren’t all in place. Four hits at the same time spread out all over the map, was a logistical nightmare, or so they’d been told. He left all the planning to those with minds for it. His mind was filled with fury, hate, and violence—all hidden beneath the torment.
Taking the cup, he went out the back door and looked toward the woods. He was more comfortable with this location than the last few. Fenced-in yards brought back too many memories of closed-in spaces. It was also nowhere near where they were going, but the planners had decided it was safer to stay further away, so here they were.
As he was raising the cup to his mouth, he heard something coming from the bush at the side of the property. He held his breath until Blair and Kobie stepped out of the trees. At least he knew who else was up. He moved away from the back of the house, not caring if he was barefoot in the light snow on the ground.
Blair motioned to the cup, “you didn’t drink all our coffee, did you?” He grinned.
Noah shook his head, “just starting now.”
“He’ll drink the pot before you can get your cup out of the cupboard,” Blair informed his mate.
Kobie swatted Blair’s arm, “you don’t exactly share it with anyone either.”
Blair faked a hurt look, “hey with all the bodies in the house now, I’m lucky if I get half a cup.”
Noah grinned, he didn’t envy Blair, having all those people around him all the time. He did feel a few pangs of jealousy, however, at the thought of having that many of your own around you. Taking a sip, he relished the burn on his tongue. He couldn’t think about his own family right now, not when he needed to stay alert and functional.
“I’ll sneak in and get you a cup.” Kobie kissed his cheek and then walked away.
Blair looked down at Noah’s feet and raised an eyebrow. “Nightmares again?”
Noah nodded. The problem with sharing a bunkhouse with the men at Ed’s meant there had been no way to hide it from them. “Just being back here—” he shrugged one shoulder, “there’s no way to escape them.”
Blair nodded, even though his expression said he could never fully understand. “The delay has me antsy.”
“Yeah. Better to follow the entire plan than a piece of it I guess.” He took a sip and watched the snowfall from the branches of one of the trees. “Good area to run?”
“It’s not home, but it’s all right.”
They both turned when the door opened, and Konner Flores came out. He carried a cup in one hand and a water bottle in the other. When he was closer, he held the cup out to Blair, “Kobie was on the phone and asked if I’d bring this to you.”
“Thanks.” Blair took it and glanced at the house. “I wonder who is having what crisis now?”
Noah noticed Konner smirk, then take a drink so it wasn’t obvious he did. “At least you’re not there trying to delegate tasks with the building.”
“I’m thankful for that.” Blair smiled, “so many women overseers.”
Konner pulled out his phone and looked at it. “Speaking of crisis,” he held up the phone, “if you’ll excuse me.”
Blair pointed to the trees, “nice deep section of river that way if you need it.”
Konner followed where he pointed, “good to know.”
They watched him walk back toward the front of the house, the phone against his head. “I can’t believe he left his mate at home.”
Noah turned to look at him, “bringing her back here wouldn’t end well.”
“That’s true.” Blair looked at the house again, “you going to be all right?” He jerked his chin in the direction of the house, “I should go see what drama is happening now.”
“I’m good.” He smirked, “have fun with your drama.”
Blair rolled his eyes in a playful manner, “it’s not drama that scares me now. Quiet is apparently bad with that many females and kids.”
Noah chuckled, “I’m sure Daisie will wrangle those boys and keep them in line.”
Blair started walking backward away from him, “that’s what scares me.” He laughed and turned toward the house.
The amusement on his face faded as soon as his friend went into the house. He turned back to the trees. Even the thought of shifting here, in this area, and going for a run had his muscles tense and his mind screaming not to. He had to wonder if that inner voice was ever going to go away. If he was ever going to feel safe shifting into what he was meant to be.
“Noah.”
He turned around to see Calum standing at the door. “We’re going to make breakfast, most of the house is moving now.”
Turning around, Noah started back. The sooner they went over the plans meant they could get back on the road and get to where they needed to be. Tonight, couldn’t get here fast enough for him. He looked forward to breaching another holding house that belonged to Aiden Tomas. Somewhere inside he knew it wasn’t his fault, the things he’d been forced to do, but he felt dirty like he had a lot of sins to atone for. That conflict alone was what made him decide he would be part of this team until they ended Tomas. After that, he didn’t know, he couldn’t see past it to think in the terms of the future or living.