Chapter 185 Chapter 185
“Are you sure it’s okay?” Kobie looked back down the lane when they got out of the truck.
“You heard Jake, he said to get out of his face.” Blair shrugged.
She bit her lip. “He sounded more like himself.”
He walked around to the front of the truck and held out his hand. “He was much more polite once you came in.”
She placed her hand in his and smiled at him. “Do you think Shaelan will figure out what it was?”
“She was on some video call with a few doctors or science people when I was checking in with Calum. I didn’t understand a thing any of them were saying, but my guess is she’ll know by morning.”
Blair stopped and looked down at her. “Let’s just take some time and pretend we have nothing else to worry about, okay?”
“Okay.” She smiled at him, “it’s going to be dark soon, do you know the way in the dark?”
He knew she was teasing him. Both of them could see just as well in the dark as they could in the light. “With my eyes closed.” He told her, holding his hand over his heart.
“We wouldn’t want to get lost.” She said with a smirk.
“Wouldn’t we?” He glanced around them. She laughed softly. “I have the best hunter and tracker with me. I’m confident she could find our way back.”
“The best?”
Blair nodded, “you beat Cal. I never could.”
“I don’t think that counts. He was more focused on finding the men on the property.”
“So were you, but you still did it.” She said nothing. “This is nice.” He motioned around them. “Out here, alone, the quiet—do you realize since the second we met we’ve been running or dealing with one crisis after the other?”
She nodded. “I could do with some boredom for a short while.”
Chuckling, he pulled on her hand so she was closer, and he could put his arm around her. They were almost at the cliff edge.
“It’s beautiful here.” She stopped and looked around. “Even in the low light, the last of the sun’s rays show us miles of nature.”
“I love living in this area.”
“I think I’m going to as well,” she sighed, “as soon as we resolve a few issues.”
“We’ll deal with it.” He pointed to the flat rocks. “They should be dry enough to sit on.”
When they sat down, he was content watching her look around. He tried to think of something, anything to say. He’d never had an issue finding words before, ever. Probably because this was important, more so than anything had ever been before.
“This is nice.” She grinned. “No noise, no bright lights. Thank you for thinking of it.”
He opened his mouth, then paused before he lied. “It was Cooper’s suggestion. I’ve been losing my mind trying to find five minutes to have you to myself...”
She put her hand over his mouth. “I don’t care who thought of it. Thank you.”
She sat there looking at him. He again couldn’t think of anything to say. As awkward went this was at the top of the scale. “What are you thinking?”
Kobie held his look for a moment, then looked away, “there’s so much I’m not sure how to separate it.”
“Pick one.” He observed her as she lifted her chin and looked at the sky. Beautiful.
“I’m worried about my brother,” she glanced at him for a second, “that if it ends up he can’t shift ever again...”
“Has the prognosis changed?”
She shook her head, “no, not that they’ve said, but...”
“Then don’t worry about it.” He reached over and brushed the hair off her shoulder so he could see her face. “There’s enough to worry about right now. I don’t think you need to look for more things.”
Amusement lit her face briefly, “that’s true.” She took a deep breath and blew it out in a steady, quiet way. “I’m not sure how I feel about the weapons training,” her eyes connected with his as she spoke. “I’m assuming guns, and I honestly don’t know if I could shoot someone.”
He didn’t want to dismiss her worry, but he knew there was something deeper bothering her. “I’m hoping you’re not in a position to need to, but,” he searched her face for a moment, “if it came down to you or them, I’d like to think you’d be able to at least incapacitate them.”
Her eyes widened, “again, that’s a good point. I guess we’ll have to see what’s involved.”
“I’m pretty sure our king and Cal had tracking in mind for you.” He shrugged, “we can ask for more details...”
“Do you it’s something that can be decided in advance?” She licked her lips in a nervous tell. “I feel like it may be something we plan out, but then have to adjust as we go.”
“Most likely. Are you having second thoughts about going?” As much as he had confidence in her ability to handle herself, he wouldn’t have been disappointed if she decided not to be involved.
She shook her head without hesitation. “No. I want to help. I heard Calum talking to Jay about how long this has been happening, of how many have they taken—Calum’s own mother?”
“I’m not sure if he could prove it, but yeah, there’s a lot of missing or dead loved ones because of Tomas...”
“Then I’m still in.” She gave her head a nod. “My mother is one of the missing.” She glanced down as she spoke. “I keep hoping I’ll find her someday.” She cleared her throat quietly. “Jay said we need to figure everything out before we go—for the sake of the clan.”
This may be the only opening he’d get. “For us as well. We can’t just keep talking about it without ever discussing it.” He smirked, “we’re going to be sharing the Alpha den,” he rolled his eyes at that description, “but we haven’t talked about what that involves since the day you told me you hadn’t decided.”
“I know you’re the right man to lead the clan.”
That wasn’t quite what he was looking for. “I appreciate you feel that way. I still have my doubts.” He watched as she looked everywhere but at him again, “for that to happen, my mate, from the Alpha family, has to actually be my mate.”
“I know.” She whispered.
She’d answered too quickly as if she was annoyed with the whole thing. “What’s the problem, Kobie. You said you hadn’t decided. I accepted that, but earlier you’re talking about our shared room, so there’s another issue you need to share.”
“It’s just,” she turned to look at him, her eyes searching his face, looking for something, “it’s probably stupid.”
“If it’s bothering you, I don’t think it’s stupid. It means it’s something we need to address.”
Kobie inhaled slowly, “okay.”
Blair sat there, allowing her the time to gather her thoughts and say them. A pained look went through her eyes. He placed a finger under her chin. “Just say it.”
“Okay, when we spoke about Kelsey and Layna,” she held up her hand when he went to speak, “I don’t blame you for spending time with Layna. I get that, I do. I mean, I’m not a virgin or...”
He put his thumb over her lips. “Maybe don’t say things like that. I understand needs, but my cat is barely holding on where you’re concerned and I’d rather not have to go kill someone.”
She nodded. “Sorry. Okay, you said you loved Kelsey. I didn’t understand how recently you were talking about until I spoke with Jake,” she shrugged, “we barely know each other...”
Blair would be having a discussion with Jake, later. He touched her mouth again, so she’d stop. She was getting more upset by saying it. “What I feel for you is not what I felt for her. I...”
“Blair, I know most women want pretty words and all the right words—I just want the truth. What you feel. I’m not like other women.”
He smirked, “I know you’re not, and I’m glad you aren’t.”
Now she sat there giving him that look, one that was ‘well I’m waiting, impress me,’ or close to it. He nodded slowly, “I think what you’re afraid of is—if I could love Kelsey one week and then—want you more than my next breath, that I’ll change my mind again.”
“Something like that.” She heaved a deep sigh.
What was he missing?
“I don’t want just that.” She glanced down at her hands. “That we’re just mates.”
Blair wanted to grin but suppressed it. “You don’t want the pretty words, but you want more than our animals being mated?”
“I told you it was stupid. I feel like a confused child.”
“No, it’s not stupid. I have my own worries about this.”
“You do?”
He scoffed softly, “yeah.”
“Like what?”