Chapter 134 Animal Senses Book 4 - Courage
Book 4 - COURAGE
Blair inhaled deeply, assessing all the scents that surrounded him. Slowing down, he approached the cliff’s edge and sat. He checked the air again, he found nothing that shouldn’t be there. Slumping, he huffed out a breath and slid forward until he was almost hanging over the edge.
He’d been at Bruce’s for two weeks now and he wasn’t feeling more settled with the turmoil rolling inside of him. Kelsey was mated to Gage. He’d known for years it was coming—everyone knew it was going to happen, but that didn’t make the pain lessen. He watched some birds take flight in the bush below. Scenting the wind, he checked to see if they flew because of an intruder or not. Satisfied it was nothing important, he looked out across the land.
The last two weeks were meant to be a fix for his broken heart, a distraction, with tasks to occupy his mind and moods that kept bouncing from mopey to furious without warning. It wasn’t working on any level. Usually, he enjoyed the change of scenery when visiting Bruce’s—it was overpopulated with female shifters of his kind. He hadn’t even been able to muster the excitement to flirt with the women. That made him more annoyed than anything. Was he going to be this pitiful always, or was this only a temporary rut he was in? He didn’t know, needed to figure it out, but couldn’t find the focus to work through it.
He was acting like a pathetic, lovesick—puppy, kitten, or whatever the appropriate equivalent would be. Glancing behind him, he knew he should continue checking the perimeter, but he needed a few more moments of his pity party before he got back to it.
That Tomas asshole had cranked up his game, and all the clans were on high alert. It felt like the Alliance was one step behind lately, and they needed to figure out how that was happening. Females were disappearing from all over. Bruce needed all the help he could get with the many women that lived here. He would not fail—again. Blair shook his head to try and prevent the next thought but was too late. Kelsey and the future Queen of the Alliance, Rayne, were abducted on his watch—Straightening up, he decided to get moving. He couldn’t go and think about that. His blood pressure sky-rocketed when he did. A run usually helped to clear his head, but he couldn’t go too far while he was helping Bruce watch over the clan.
Of course, the one thing that nothing helped to erase was the image of Kelsey in the middle of a thunderstorm, soaked and oblivious as she stood in front of Gage in his cat form, and accepted him as her mate. That moment had broken something inside of Blair. He’d been in love with Kelsey for at least five years, could be longer. He wasn’t sure the exact moment it had happened—just one day it hit him. He’d spent the day in a fog trying to figure out how to tell her. He never got the chance. The next day he found out that the reason Gage was the jerk he was toward Kelsey, was because she was his mate, and he was trying not to claim her because she was too young. Nothing in his life had been the same since that day. Nothing.
Blair glanced to the East and checked for movement. Being here was supposed to be his new start, a cleanse. He chuffed at himself, stop answering the phone when she calls, and you might stand a chance, idiot. He looked in the other direction. How could he ignore the call when it was Kelsey? He’d even told Gage he was trying not to answer all the time, but it was Kelsey, and he was just a man. Dropping his chin, he looked at the large white paws on the ground in front of him—okay; he was mostly a man.
Turning, he took off full speed down the incline. When he finished this sweep, maybe Bruce would let him tear apart that old tractor and try to get it running. Mechanics, he understood—it was life that was a puzzle for him. Gage’s old man, Ed, who was his Alpha, had taught him everything he knew about mechanics, big equipment, and repairs alongside Gage, Jake, and Gary. For that, he would always be grateful. That alone was also the reason he hadn’t acted on the idea of going back to his birth clan. He owed Ed for giving him a purpose in life. His mother, before she passed away, had sent him to the Lockman clan. He was only two, so he remembered nothing about her but had to trust in the decision. According to Ed, he had some relatives living in his original clan, yet he had discouraged him from reaching out to them. In Blair’s mind, if they hadn’t contacted him, there must be a reason—or they just didn’t care. Of course, someday he might need to know more. Now, was not that time, he couldn’t handle any more intense issues in his brain.
Blair always considered himself easy-going or had until his first shift. That day he discovered he was a lethal weapon. He enjoyed the feeling, and it took all his restraint to not attack, maim or kill everything in his path when he was in cat form. If he was being truthful, as a man he often struggled to contain the rage inside of him. There had to be a reason, but he couldn’t figure out why. Fury and rage were the only words he could find to describe what he felt and his need to control was insane at times as well. All the more reason to stay with this clan. Ed was a strong Alpha and if Blair’s cat ever got out of hand, Ed’s son, Gage, was damn good at using his dominant tone to control him.