Chapter 129 Chapter 129
As the early light of dawn appeared, Shaelan was pacing by the window, looking down at the rest of the village. The others were moving around quietly, she wasn’t sure if they had slept, she knew she hadn’t. For a few hours, she lay in Calum’s arms, watching him. She didn’t know how he had managed his short nap. Although he was probably more used to this sort of thing than she was. When he’d finally spoken, she’d almost fallen off the bed in surprise, not even realizing he was awake.
The village was so quiet now, no one was awake yet. She knew that was going to end shortly. Everyone would come out of their homes when the bell rang, all would be present to witness their lives changing.
She was sure it was the stress. The unknowns weighing on her that made her feel this way. Panicked, but almost depressed at the same time. So many things could happen, the outcome was not guaranteed. If Leroy backed down, was it truly over? She didn’t trust that. He could only be saying that, saying anything to buy more time to come up with a new plan or angle. He could take off and then the wondering would always be there, they’d be looking over their shoulders for the rest of their lives.
If Calum did fight him and won, what then? They’d be free, but at what cost? If he killed Leroy there would be that weighing on them forever. She knew Calum had a more violent nature to him than she did, and that he’d probably exercised it in his life, but this… this could change a person deep inside. What happened if he did win, was he then the alpha of the clan? How would that work with him having to be Devin’s second when he became leader of the alliance?
So many shifter and clan things she didn’t know. Was it all just passed on by word of mouth or was it written down somewhere? She didn’t even know that. Then, as hard as she was trying to ignore it, the thought kept coming back, what if Calum was seriously injured or worse… she wouldn’t have him. Oh god, I can’t do that. There was no way to move beyond that. Her life wouldn’t have any meaning if he were gone and Leroy remained breathing.
So many emotions, her chest was tight, she was sweating too, hot one minute, then cold the next. Her entire body was tingling, her skin was too tight and she physically felt ill, all the way to her soul, if that were possible. What was she going to do?
“Hey, love,” Calum came up behind her.
Shaelan jumped, she hadn’t heard him coming. She turned to look and was surprised he was just wearing his jeans, nothing else. She paused to look at him, her eyes wandering over his chest slowly, taking in the sculpted muscle, then looked at her mark on his neck.
“Keep looking at me like that and we’re going to have a problem.” He said quietly.
Her eyes jumped up to his. “Sorry.” She cleared her throat. “Why are you dressed like that?”
He moved closer to her, in a slow easy motion, like he was afraid she was going to take off, and honestly, she may just do that.
“In case I need to shift.” His eyes held hers.
“Oh.” Inside she’d known that, but didn’t want to admit it.
He ran his hand down her arm gently, “Are you okay?”
Just him touching her almost hurt. She shook her head. “I don’t think so. There’s something…”
He stepped closer, still not pulling her into his chest. “I can smell your cat. Not just sense her but smell her.” Leaning down, he brushed a brief kiss on her lips. “You’re going to shift for the first time, soon.”
She looked at her arms, like they were going to suddenly grow fur. “How soon?”
His tone was gentle, “there’s no way to tell, could be an hour, could be a few more days. You could feel the way you do now, then it stops and then happens again right before. It’s not the same for everyone.”
Blowing out a deep breath, she glanced out the window again. “Talk about bad timing.”
He chuckled, “could have been a whole lot worse.”
She turned to see that heated look in his eyes. “Yes, I guess it could have.” She tried to smile, but failed, even for him she couldn’t. There was just too much battling through her.
“I want you to stay up here when I go down…”
“What? No.” She shook her head, wanting to grab him but couldn’t stand the feel of anything against her right now. There had been moments she’d even entertained the idea of stripping off her clothes to see if it would help.
He grasped her hand lightly, barely touching her. “When I go down there, I need to know you are safe and out of harm’s way.” The expression in his eyes was serious. “If I’m worried about watching over you, then...” he shook his head, “I can’t have that distraction.”
She knew he was right, but the idea of standing up here… what if he needed her?
“We don’t know how close your shift is, and the tension could bring it on faster.” His tone was so tender.
The very idea of shifting in front of everyone, turned her stomach inside out. “You think it could happen?”
He searched her face, “I don’t know. I need the fewest possible variables when I go down there.”
Her brain kicked in. What he was saying was if she was there and distracted him, he could die. She didn’t want to stay behind, but she wanted him to live more. “Okay.” She nodded, close to tears. “I’ll stay here.”
He kissed her mouth softly again.