Chapter 55—Terra

My arm screams like someone's holding a branding iron against it. I shove the sleeve of my nightgown upward to see the edge of a burn, and a bad one at that. Maybe what I did at the end wasn't enough. Maybe Devlin's forces broke through. But if so, why am I still alive? Or did Devlin actually want me alive? My brain’s moving too slowly, and my head’s pounding too loudly against the inside of my skull.

“You're awake.” Jesse’s slumped in a chair next to my bed. “You okay?”

“What are you doing here?” I sit up and press my hand to his forehead. I could roast a chicken on it. “You should be in bed yourself.”

“It won't make a difference. We've been over this.” He straightens, and then tilts his head. “Hey, what's wrong with your arm?”

“I'm not sure. I thought you might know. Did something happen to it on the wall yesterday?” I don’t say, ‘after I passed out.’ I figure he knows that’s when I mean.

“The Healers have been in here several times. I’m not sure how they could have missed Healing anything.” Jesse wipes the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve. “Our reports show that you killed more than a thousand troops with Kahn on those initial cycles, and almost five hundred on the west side of the North Wall. Then, in that final volley, you took out more than two thousand soldiers in a single pass. No wonder you collapsed. I've never seen anything like it. It scared Devlin half to death, and his entire force fell back. They're regrouping below the city.”

“Was Dad happy with the reprieve?”

Jesse smiles. “We all were.”

“My murder of thousands of people brought you all joy. How lovely.”

“They wanted to kill my sister and our people, so yes, it was lovely. But that's not why I'm smiling.”

“Why are you smiling?” I'd do most anything to see him smile right now. Every time could be his last.

“You called Duncan 'Dad.’”

I scowl. “Don't be silly.”

“He's going to need you, and you'll need him. He's a really good man, and he loves you. He was a wonderful father to me.”

I sit up. “Stop saying was. He is your dad. And I told you, we're going to figure this out.” I reach out to take his hand and my forearm brushes against the bed. Pain blossoms across my skin, and I cringe.

Jesse flips my arm over.

Only then do I realize it's not a normal injury. This wasn't a burn from a hot pan, or even a hearth fire. It wasn’t sliced as someone dragged me away from the wall. It wasn’t a graze from a careless blade. No, the pain is from words that have been burned into my forearm. Clear, bright, purposeful words. It’s a message.

“What is that?” Jesse asks.

I look at him, and then I look back at my arm. “My burn?”

“I mean, it almost looks like they're symbols or something.”

I tilt my head. “They're words. You're the future lord of Sterling Castle. Are you saying you don't know how to read?”

Jesse rolls his eyes. “I can't read gibberish, even if it looks like somewhat meaningful gibberish.”

I glance at my burns again. The symbols make sense to me, but now that he points it out, they aren’t from the Terran alphabet I learned as a child. I read them aloud. “It says, ‘You’ve always known Jesse. To save him, remember. Embrace the dissonance.’”

“I heard my name. The rest. . .huh?”

What language was I speaking? I say the words aloud again, this time in Terran.

“Okay, that makes no sense, but at least you’re using real words. What's dissonance? And what does it mean, remember? Remember what?”

Who would have sent me that message? And what does the dissonance mean? I wrack my brain. I've been finding injuries I can't explain all my life. I have no idea who or what causes the injuries, but I think back on them. A broken arm, several small cuts, a split lip, a broken wrist, bruises frequently, but nothing like this. This message is new, and for some reason, it’s in a language Jesse can't understand. . .but I can.

My brother slumps in his chair, his skin pale and clammy, his hands shaking, but he's taking care of me. He's dying, and he's still at my side.

Someone thinks I can save him, but I have to decode this puzzle to have the slightest chance of success.

Who would send me a message? “Were you here with me all night?”

“No one has been in or out, other than you and me. Well, a maid changed you last night, but you didn't seem to be in distress. I doubt she could’ve burned you. I only stood outside for a few minutes.”

I raise my eyebrows, and he squirms. “She’s been here her whole life. You needed fresh clothing, and I wasn't about to do it.” He grins at me weakly.

“If she didn’t do this while you stood outside, and no one else did, then where did it come from?”

He shrugs. “But clearly we need to get you to a Healer.”

That would cause too many questions. I pull the sleeve back down. “Let's leave it for now. I need to think about it—and maybe the throbbing in my arm will help me focus.”

Jesse steps closer and puts his hand on my non-burned wrist. “It looks bad. No one can fix me, but the Healers could take care of that.”

“Please, Jesse. For now, can you let it go?”

After a moment, he releases my arm. “Are you hungry?”

I change clothes, wincing when the fabric of my nightshirt rubs against my arm again, but I grit my teeth and slide another long-sleeved shirt over my head. I'd like to go sleeveless, but I can't risk it. What if someone else sees the symbols? How would I even begin to explain what the mysterious injuries mean?

Jesse shuffles down the hall ahead of me. He should be resting, not sitting up all night. Not following me to the dining room to make sure I eat. “You need to conserve your strength. Give me time to figure something out for you.”

He stops walking and turns to face me. “You are my strength. Dad's my strength. My goals, my family, and my job keep me strong. If I only have a day left, I won't spend it lying in bed, tossing and turning alone. If helping the people I love shortens my life a little, at least I lived every minute of the time I had.”

I choke back tears, because they won't help him, and they won't help me.

Kahn and Duncan are already eating when we reach the dining room, along with Stefan, Seth, and Beren. The day shift must be about to relieve the night. Stefan doesn't like me very well, and I'm guessing he's one of the ones who remember that I'm the reason for this war.

Every single one of them stands when Jesse and I enter, and then, as though they practiced it, they bow.

Duncan smiles. “You bought us precious time last night, my dear. We're all very grateful.”

Kahn grins and waves to the seats across from him. “Hungry?”

“Yes,” I say. “I really am.” I don't even cringe when I reach for food and my sleeve brushes my burn. I'm kind of proud of myself.

“It's good to see you up again,” Kahn says. “What you did last night was nothing short of miraculous, especially with how tired you were beforehand. I was worried you were already wiped out.”

I was. I had nothing left when they called me to the front.

“Was it just me?” Stefan asks, “Or did it feel like the entire wall shook when those projectiles flew?”

“I didn't feel any shaking,” Jesse says, “but it felt like something was off in the world around me. I thought you might need support.”

“You were right,” I say. “I was losing it. Without you and Dad and Kahn, I couldn't have done it.”

My dad's smile is even goofier than Jesse’s was when I glance his way. I have got to remember not to call him Dad.

“Why did you step near, Kahn?” Duncan asks. “I did it because Jesse did. Nothing felt off to me.”

“The moment felt. . .dissonant to me,” Kahn says.

My jaw drops. “Excuse me?”

Jesse frowns at him, and then glances my direction.

“You know, like when you're standing in between two rooms, and you hear different music coming from both. Perhaps someone's playing the piano in one and the harp in the other, and you're standing in just the right spot to hear both tunes, but they don't harmonize.” He shrugs. “They're dissonant.”

I had no idea what that word meant. Can it be a coincidence that he’s using it right now? I stare at Kahn.

“Is everything okay?” His eyes are soft—pleading with me to let him provide support. The glowing is back with a vengeance.

I turn away. “I’m fine.” I stand abruptly, needing to think about things. “I'm going to check on the North Wall. I want to confirm everything looks alright.”

Jesse grabs my hand. “Wait. I’m coming.”

Duncan clears his throat. “I need your advice on something here. Alora will be fine.”

I nod. “I'll be back to check on you in an hour.” Jesse squeezes my hand, but after a moment, he lets me go.

Kahn stands up and follows me out.

“I don't need an escort.”

He raises his eyebrows questioningly. “You don’t want me to come?”

He did just help me unravel a piece of the puzzle. Maybe I need him around.

Or maybe I just want him around.

I force my eyes away from his face. “Do what you want.”