David staggered into his room like an old man. He had never felt as guilty as Bryan had made him feel today except for when he had been driving and crashed the car that killed his wife and realised that he was alive but his beloved wife had died.
This brought the event vividly into his mind again and he just slumped on the bed reminiscing.
His housekeeper cane to ask of he wanted anything but he waved her off.
The house keeper had heard raised voices and had stayed away tactically, knowing that her presence was not needed and that if it were, then she would be called for.
David recalled his wife Deborah for who Sharon had named her daughter.
He had been the one driving and they had both been chatting happily and kissing. The love they had felt for each other had been legendary.
He could not seem to take his eyes nor his hands of her and she enjoyed his attentions immensely.
He would go to work and the mere thought of going home to Deborah would fill him with sensual anticipation. She was the wind that filled his sail. She was his motivator, his essence, his reason for living'.
When the accident had occured, he felt numb. It had felt like it was not happening. That it was just a nightmare from which he would wake. He watched as She was brought out of the wrecked car and thought she was merely unconscious.
Even when they had announced that she was not breathing and that she died instantly, he had not believed it. How could his Deborah leave him that way? It was not possible.
He had thought that he was frigid, cold, unable to love because the few relationships he had had before meeting Deborah had not rocked his heart and he had known that he could not marry any of them but when he had met Deborah, the earth had moved, his heart had shifted to not just accommodate her but she occupied the whole of his heart and the great thing was that it was not one -- sided. She had reciprocated. It had been paradise being with her and they had been somewhat selfish, wanting to be alone for sometime before starting a family.
When he recovered at the hospital and the news was broken yet again to him, he looked at himself and saw that what he sustained was just a few scratches and bruises but the love of his life, the one person he could not do without was dead. There was nothing, no money in the world that could bring her back to life. And he broke down and wept. He wrote like a baby and the doctors and nurses had to silently leave the ward for him, giving him the privacy he needed to mourn his wife.
He was suffering from the pain of the loss if Deborah and ravaged by guilt that he had lived when his life because that was what Deborah had been, died.
He kept wishing that he could change the event or turn back the hands of the but it was not possible
Do he had allowed himself to wallow in guilt and pain. No other woman would do. He did not even look at any woman twice. He threw himself into his work but his work could provide no remedy for his heartbreak and guilt during the night.
His health started failing. He no longer took care of himself, he wondered for who he had to do that. And with each passing month and year, he looked worst.
He could not recover from his loss. If they had managed to have a child, he may have recovered for the sake of the child which would have been a part of Deborah but they hadn't and he had nothing if her to give him solace.
Then the doctors noticed the tumour in his head.
At first being very conservative, he had not approved of Sharon's and Bryan's relationship but he adopted an open mind and with Sharon's encouragement went into therapy and started eating and living right and taking his exercises seriously and even got to having a social live and with the anticipated joy of Sharon's unborn baby, he had a reason to live again. The child gave him a reason to live and he wished that the child was his but it was not and he tried talking Sharon into telling Bryan about her pregnancy but she would not, and because of the way, he perceived the situation, he felt that Bryan may not be interested and decided to give Sharon as much support as he possibly could.
But he could not blame Bryan for accusing him of being jealous if him and taking his place. How could he? He would have thought the same thing had he been in Bryan's position.
He was still reminiscing when his phone rang.
At first he thought it was Bryan again calling to insult him further and he refused to pick bit when the call persisted, he had no option but to pick else it would have kept disturbing him and probably give him a headache.
It turned out to be Sharon, calling to find out if her husband Bryan had called him and he told her that he had and that he called him a few choice words in the bargain.
He told her all these not to cause more problems in her home nor to make her feel guilty but so that she would quit running like a nerveless child or teenager and behave like the nature woman she was and face her responsibilities and challenges squarely.
After the call, he called in his house keeper and asked that food be served him.
'Would you like it in your room or will you come down to the dinning table?'
David considered these and thought, Why should I eat in the room because a husband was venting his frustrations on him? Bryan should be thankful. He was lucky that after running, he would still see his wife. It was just a temporary separation and not a permanent one like his and he already had two children that we're his. How lucky can one get and his wife loved him too.
He had found someone he had decided to marry. It was not that he loved her. He could never love anyone else after Deborah but she was a good enough company and hopefully might give him a child or two in his old age.
'I come down to the dinning table, thanks'. he said smiling at the housekeeper who was happy that he was already out of his moody mood.