She got home to find that Gabriel had taken Deborah out. She knew that he will have taken her to their friends' house where they had planned that she would stay till she got back from the party. She did not know what she could have done without Gabriel.
She hated hiding her daughter away like that but the party was not really for kids, though apart from obvious reasons, she still would have taken her there so that her former colleagues could see her but she dared not.
The telephone was ringing, bringing her back to the present to notice that the room had darkened around her. There was only the orange glare of the street lights, softening the furnitures into unknown shadows.
She picked up the telephone, still lost in memory, her hands shaking in case it was Bryan, it wasn't.
'How about dinner tonight?' Oliver's voice travelled down the line, making her jump.
'Oliver...' she was confused for a moment before the invitation sank in.
'Sharon, are you okay?'
'Yes,yes, of course', she snapped on the lamp that stood on the desk, blinking in the glare. 'Dinner? No, I'm sorry, I can't make it tonight'.
'Date?' he asked casually.
'No, a party. An old friend, it's his forty something...' Sharon explained. I'm sorry...'
'Hey don't apologise', Oliver sounded relieved.
Because she didn't have a date? She remembered Corfu and frowned. That was something else she would have to sort out. 'Okay I won't', she made her voice sound bright and easy. 'But you will have to find someone else to keep you company. Has Janet gone back to New York?'
Oliver snorted expressively. 'Yes, thank God. That woman is like an alligator.She's after my blood. Why the hell do you think that I am back in London?'
'Don't be mean!' Sharon protested but she was laughing because she could see what he meant.
'You weren't married to her', Oliver said laughing too. 'Anyway, enjoy yourself tonight sweetheart. And don't forget that you are seeing that client in Kendall tomorrow ----- so lay off the booze'.
'Yes, sir?' She had forgotten all about driving up to Kendall. It had completely skipped her mind. She wasn't looking forward to the long drive up North.
As she replaced the receiver, the smile faded from her lips. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was way after seven. The party was an hour away and she felt like crying her eyes out.
They were leaving for the party at eight thirty which left Sharon just under an hour to get ready.
She ran a bath quickly. Her party mood, none existent, she felt miserable, heavy with memories of the past and the thought of coming face to face again with Bryan did nothing to improve her mood but made it worse.
She lay in the scented water, trying to tell herself that she could cope. She wasn't a naive, unsophisticated teenager anymore nor was she a woman who had no control over her emotions, the woman who had lost control of her emotions and given herself to him that night in Rome. A lot of things has happened since then and now she felt mature beyond her years. Three years ago, Bryan had demanded everything from her and she had given it to him on a plate and like he taunted her later, he hadn't needed to make much of an effort. She would have have given him everything but his arrogance and coldness ruined everything.
Grimacing with self derision, she shampooed her hair. Once made, such mistakes could never be undone. There was no chance to wipe the slate clean and begin again. She rinsed her hair, tugging her fingers through the wet weight of it. How did she feel about him now?
The need for revenge had faded, maybe because of her experiences with Gerhard but she still hated him, feared him, mistrusted him. And she didn't want to see him again.
She stepped out of the bath, gazing at her naked body as she reached for a towel. No man had touched her since Bryan. She could not bear it. He had been her only lover since their brief trust in Rome. Unbidden, the memory of his hands and mouth against her skin, his mouth touching her breasts, rose in her mind. She shi ered, her body aching with sudden need. She bit her lip hard, turning from the mirror. Perhaps to ight, she would meet a lover, someone to exorcise Bryan from her body and from her mind. Perhaps. Though she felt doubtful. For three long years, she did not find such a person, it was not as though there had not been interested men. Men who would have given anything to have her but she had not been moved. She had not wanted them. Then how could she accomplish in one night what she could not in three long years? Everything is possible though of one works hard at it. She had often heard people say that. She was going to keep her fingers crossed.
She dressed with care after drying her hair and brushing it until it shone like a blazing halo around her face. She applied her makeup with all the skill she could muster. She needed a mask of confidence, something to hide behind. When she was finally ready, she knew she looked good.
The black dress was perfect, well worth the extravagance and as a final touch, she clipped back her auburn hair at the back of her neck with an e only comb. With one look at the mirror, she left the bedroom and collected her fur cape, her handbag and the heavy gold wrist watch she had bought for David.
She wondered round theflat, switching off lights and closing doors and was ready when Gabriel arrived. He whistled under his breath as she opened the door.
'You look fantastic. Pulled out all the stops, right?'
'Very perceptive', she retorted with a smile but she locked the door with fingers that wouldn't stop shaking.
Gabriel watched her, frowning slightly as though he had only just realized how much courage it was going to take her to attend the party.
'Don't worry', he said slipping an arm around her shoulders as they walked downstairs. 'I'll stick close by you'.
Sharon looked at him, taking in the gleaming smoothness of his hair and the immaculate darkness of his dinner jacket and trousers. 'Does it show that much?'
'Only to me'.
Stepping out of the cold night air, Sharon knew that if Gabriel could see her nervousness, so could Bryan.
'You won't leave me alone, will you?' she begged, knowing that she was being foolish.
Ga riel promised but they sped out of town to David's house.The promise held little consolation or comfort.
She almost wished it would take them long to get to their destination but that was not the case.